The Best Kind of Betrayal

Chapter 11

Logan and I were friends before we started dating, or something like that. Since I'm not exactly a social butterfly and many of Kaia's attempts to help me gain new friends ended in vain, I was surprised myself how easily Logan managed to carve himself into my life. It happened somewhere along junior year, when Kaia took extra music and arts classes, while I found myself alone and slightly frustrated in science and literature.

It was in literature class, that I first came to notice Logan Hayman – and the fact I didn't notice him before wasn't exactly my fault, since Logan doesn't take as much classes as your average student to focus on his skate boarding. Which is somehow not only allowed but also encouraged.

One day, Logan stumbled into the room way later than the rest, hair messy, skateboard under one arm and backpack hanging low from his shoulder. I sat in the last row, close to the window, probably thinking about lunch, when Logan said something to our teacher, and both laughed. It was his laugh that made me look up. When Logan laughs, the corners of his mouth curl all the way up and his eyes crinkle until his face is all scrunched up and wrinkled. Logan's laugh is contagious, bright and warm and happy, and I felt both parts affected and envious.

People usually fight over the last rows, but for literature it was the exact opposite, so Logan had to sit in the back with me. He didn't seem bothered by it, nor by the fact we were practically strangers and oh, this weird girl is staring at me. Instead, Logan started this completely normal and appropriate conversation about the play we were reading and how he's sure people already hated it back when it was first released. Logan didn't even care my contribution to this conversation was practically zero, as I kept on doodling in my notebook and stealing secret glances at him.

This is one of Logan's strengths, but also his weakness – he can't read people well and is therefore immune to what they think and general social clues. He didn't care I was all cold and distant and asked me all about my opinions on the class, on the play, on skateboarding.

He also didn't care when he crushed my heart into pieces.

I was never extremely close to Logan, never to the point that I completely trusted him like I trust Kaia. Still, it felt nice, calling popular Logan Hayman my friend. We talked in classes, and when we met in the hallways, and even spent lunch together every now and then. Kaia somehow suspected I was crushing on Logan all along, but I never realized it myself – until Logan kissed me.

Logan kissed me on the last day of junior year, right after classes ended, as we left school together. He asked me to hang out, get ice cream and celebrate the fact summer break's starting, and in the end, I got not only the ice cream but also Logan Hayman as my boyfriend. ­­­

And just like that, like a sudden fairy tale, my fairy tale, I ended up spending my whole summer break with Logan Hayman. It mainly consisted of me going to parks to watch him skate, buying him cold drinks and bringing him my mum's pancakes. And Logan was always all bright smiles and happiness when I showed up, throwing his arms around me, lifting me up and twirling me around. Logan didn't care if ten, twenty, hundreds of people were around us, he kissed me whenever he felt like it.

Logan joined Kaia and I for trips to the mall, Logan waited for me outside my house to go and grab lunch, Logan dropped by to introduce himself to my mum. Logan was pure sunshine, warm and bright, with his messy blonde hair, sun kissed skin and laid-back personality. Logan was so different compared to myself it felt almost unreal, and while he showered me with affection, I didn't even tell him I liked him until we broke up.

It's just now that I realize how paradox it all was – while Logan was all affectionate, he also didn't take this, whatever it was, serious, while I, all cool and unaffected, started to depend on him more and more.