Chapter 15

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The clubroom is mostly empty when I get there. No Liling sitting at her desk, no Duncan playing games, no Johnny ordering people around, no Logan annoying the living hell out of me. Vivian left a note on her desk about coming a little late and Kaia texted me a bunch of emojis I'm not sure how to interpret. Agatha is sick – the flu.

The only one present is Carlos, and he uses Duncan's chair to rest his feet on, a book placed over his face.

"Um, hi?" I say and drop my bag on my desk, unloading a couple of books. My science presentation is near and I seriously need to put some more work into it.

"Where is everyone?"

"Hmm?" Carlos jumps and the book drops on the floor, "Oh, it's just you," he scratches his neck and yawns, "Junior pack are still on their field trip, remember?"

"Right."

I remember Liling stressing over her suitcase after we parted on Saturday. I'm curious, especially since stacks are high Liling and Duncan will come back from the field trip as a couple. I put my bet on prom night so I'm crossing my fingers the field trip won't involve too many romantic events, though from what I remember of my own trip last year, it's mostly teachers stressing you from one museum to another. I'm not sure how romantic things can get over rebuilt dinosaur skeletons.

"And Matthew's at soccer practice," Carlos checks his phone and then looks up with a grin, "You know, you can go and check up on him."

"Ha ha, sure."

I don't know how to face Matthew. It's mostly my fault, since I somehow spent the whole weekend thinking about him, especially the part when Matthew laughed at the aspect of us dating. Which could mean anything, but lead me to overthink it until I came to the conclusion that a) Matthew thought the idea of us dating was so ridiculous he couldn't help but laugh, since I'm the most awkward, unfortunate girl he's ever laid his eyes on or b) he's secretly extremely thrilled about the prospect of us dating and laughed in pure joy, probably confessing his endless love to me soon. And since my fictional self loves to ignore the fact my heart's been recently crushed into pieces, I reply with yes, I absolutely feel the same (not necessarily true but necessarily needed to make the moment as romantic as possible). Then cheesy background music and lots of flowers.

So – I spent the weekend entertaining cheesy romantic scenarios with a friend of mine and am completely embarrassed about it now.

"Hey," Carlos rolls over on his chair and pulls me out of my thoughts, thank God.

"I was serious, you know?"

"Serious with what?" I ask and open my science book.

One look at the pages and I already feel like crying. I can't imagine remembering all of that, let alone presenting it in a competent manner. Maybe I should really check on an alternative essay option.

"You should go and check up on Matty," Carlos says, "He said he wanted to come by and help me, but I think he forgot."

"With club work?"

Carlos gives me a look. "No, with my paintings."

I start shifting around my stuff on my desk. I don't want to face Matthew, and I especially don't want to face him in front of other people. I can already see myself, stuttering and making a fool of myself in front of a large group of tall, athletic boys. I'm probably going to cry.

"Can't you go?" I say, "I'm really busy."

Carlos shakes his head with a grin. "No way. Come on June, just do me this favor and go. It's urgent."

And this is how I find myself a couple of minutes later in front of the outdoor track. Our soccer team isn't necessarily the school's best asset, so I'm not surprised no one's watching. I bought a smoothie on my way because I thought I should bring something. Now I feel stupid.

The soccer team trains on the field inside the outdoor track, while the track and field team runs laps around them. My knees are shaking for some reason and I really, really don't want to cross the track and walk up to the guys training in the middle of the field. They're doing some sort of drills, with who I assume is their coach aggressively whistling and shouting commands at them.

Maybe I should text Matthew to come and meet me during their next break. Even though I don't think he brought his phone. Or is allowed to check it during practice. And, thinking about it, I don't even have his number.

Why am I here? Couldn't Carlos text him to meet up after practice like a normal person? Is this some stupid prank I fell for?

I can hear someone laughing, and the coach shouting once more, and I take a deep breath and finally cross the run track.

"Um, hi", I say to no one in particular.

That's when I spot Logan sitting on the grass next to the goal.

Is this even for real? Since when is Logan doing soccer? I notice he's still in the same clothes he wears for classes, including skinny jeans that definitely don't look like sportswear. So – he's here to watch Matthew? Are they close? Why? What?

Logan seems to share my surprise, as he stares at me in absolute disbelief.

"Um", I say again and clear my throat, "Excuse me?"

"Yeah?" the coach turns around, jogging up to me with his whole intimidating self. I shriek back and feel the heels of my boots sinking into the grass. Now I can't even run away.

"I, um, I need to talk to Mathew," I say and hold tightly onto the smoothie bottle, "It's – important."

It really isn't.

I chew on my lower lip while the coach turns around and beckons Matthew to come over. I feel Logan's eyes burning into my side, but I force myself to look everywhere but him. Doesn't matter why he's here, I really don't care. I'm just going to bring Matthew Carlos' message, then immediately get myself back to the club room and vanish in a bean bag.

No distraction, nothing out of place happening. Exactly.

"Hey!", Matthew calls out as he runs over to me, "What's up?"

I feel the eyes of every guy on the team on us.

"Um", I say, "Carlos, he – wanted me to remind you to help him with his work. He wants you to come by when you're done, I guess."

"Oh. Sure," Matthew smiles at me, all ruffled hair and tight soccer shirt and bright eyes.

I swallow.

"Also, this is for you", I say quickly and shove the smoothie bottle into his arms.

Matthew laughs and slings an arm around my shoulders.

"Thanks babe."

Then he leans down and kisses me. 

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