We're At It Again ✔️

Tʜɪʀᴛᴇᴇɴ

Luna

I don't know how to act around Hudson anymore. Not since my conversation with Austin about Hudson having feelings for me. It's unlikely. Hudson and I have only started rekindling our friendship. We could never rekindle a romance that never existed. However, I can't help but notice things about Hudson that I never noticed before. His mannerisms seem different around me since Austin's outrageous claims. I think even entertaining the thought of Hudson and me is much too dangerous. A disaster waiting to happen. However, I still cannot get over the emotion I have invested in Austin. It's like a game show. Two doors with two different futures and possibilities. It's hard to let go of something you've had for so long. It's as if you've lost a part of yourself. As much as our minds want to forget, our hearts want the opposite. Our hearts always gravitate towards familiarity and comfort - an irrational organ. Scientists will say the brain is in control of everything, but falling in love has proven that theory to be incorrect. When we're in love, our hearts take over our minds. My mind is in perpetual disagreement as hundreds of different thoughts and theories swarm through my brain. I know one thing for certain, though - my heart wants Austin Chambers. It's terrifying how much love can affect your decisions, how your heart can look past all the negatives - but my brain knows that isn't enough. As much as my heart pines for Austin, my brain can never forget. Then why am I still thinking of going to Stanford? I glance at my laptop screen, the luminescent glare lights up my darkened bedroom. The digital clock in the corner signifying it's just after midnight. I stare at the Stanford homepage.

My hand hovers over the cursor, my mind willing me to exit the website. After a tedious internal battle, I open another tab and search the University of California. My mind begins to imagine various possibilities as I gaze at the campus images, imagining myself in one of those dorms getting to study the major I've dreamed of since I was a child. Why am I thinking of giving that up for a guy that doesn't want me? Could I be any more of a cliche? The overthinking is giving me a migraine and I slam my laptop shut with unnecessary force - the only source of light disappearing, leaving me to wallow in the darkness. I finally have something I have always wanted. Freedom. So, why would I want to throw it away? The answer is simple - I am terrified.

I have always had Austin by my side, my crutch, and for the first time in a very long time, I am on my own. I can't use Austin as an excuse anymore, he cannot be my reason - I need to decide my path. That's what always terrified me most.

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

I bite my lip as I gaze around the Wilder's cluttered garage hoping to spot Hudson in the mess. I spot someone's overall covered legs stretching out from under the destroyed vehicle.

"Hello." My voice echoes.

The figure reveals itself with a friendly grin.

"Luna, what a lovely surprise."

"Hey, Mr. Wilder."

He stands up and grabs an oil-covered cloth to wipe his hands.

"What can I do for you?" He questions.

"I was looking for Hudson."

"You just missed him." He states apologetically. "He won't be long though."

I nod my head with a sigh.

"You're more than welcome to wait." He offers. "You seem like you have a lot on your mind."

"It's nothing serious." I reply, uncertain if I'm trying to reassure him or myself.

"Doesn't mean you can't talk about it." He offers.