Painful Pleasure

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"Devil underneath your grin, Sweet thing, bust she plays to win, Heaven's gonna hate me" - Not Afraid Anymore, Halsey

Warning! Sexual content and mention of blood!

Eliana's POV

"Do you think you can love me?"

Everything froze around me. Time, reality. Everything.

Can I love him?

At the very start of our story, I had developed so much hatred for this man. I loathed him for forcing me into this vast, mysterious, and utterly dangerous world, full of contrasts; good demons, and bad angels. He pulled me into this sick world and I fought so hard to get out, to escape his sharp claws, that were now softly stroking my dirty cheek.

The situation got so much worse and frustratingly confusing when it came to my knowledge that the one and only Devil, is in fact, my mate. My soulmate. My other half, that without him I would never be complete.

I would have to learn how to love and care for such a monstrous creature, that is incapable of love. When I insisted that I wanted to go home, back to my comfortable little bubble, in my small, unimportant city in an insignificant country, back to my limited friends, my dad, back to my simple and easy life in my university, it wasn't because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to love him. It was because I was terrified that I would.

I believed that I would fall so hard for him and that my love would be so powerful and unbreakable that no angel or demon would be able to take me away from him. And the creeping thought that he would never be capable of giving me anything in return, was enough to make me push myself away.

The idea that he would never love me as I would allow myself to love him, paralyzed me. And I wanted to get as far away as possible.

But then he came back, crawling like an insect underneath my skin. And he showed me a side of him that he kept hidden from everyone else. I'll admit that it made me feel so special when he showed me that he was capable of feeling something else instead of anger and hatred and resentment.

The final piece of the tall, great wall that I had built around my heart, crumbled when he told me not to leave. When we were flying high above grey clouds and a mist of burned charcoal, passing through endless, formless stones and lava lagoons. When our bodies seemed like they were magnetized like two opposites, our embraces felt like two puzzle pieces coming together.

The thick mist, the smoke, and the heat made my body dirty and sweaty, and the feeling of the hot air continuously slapping me on the face made me want to tear my skin off. But the way his body felt against mine, and the way my heart clenched tightly inside my chest... It was unforgettably intimate.

It felt...right.

That's when I let my guard down completely, allowing him to seep into my mind and soak inside my veins. I wanted to get to know him more, I wanted him to get to know me better. I wanted to spend more time with him and do things with him that no one else has ever done.

But I guess fate had other plans for us.

Two months later, after I foolishly believed that he had abandoned me, I had built my wall again. Higher than last time. With better materials. Heartbreak, loneliness, and wrath. I truly believed that when and if I would see him again, the wall would stay intact, stronger than ever before.

And then he came falling through the sky, and that was enough to completely demolish my wall.

With Lucifer, it was never simple or easy. Everything was complicated and that was what lured me in the first place. If I had just stayed away, if I haven't listened to that voice in my mind and that feeling in my gut that was slowly, unconsciously, sending me towards him, I wouldn't be here now; standing underneath him, like prey trapped beneath its predator's claws.

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