MARY JANE ━ ashtray ✓

𝗑𝗂𝗏． 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖽𝗈𝗌𝖾

Anger, Grief, memories of her early childhood was all she'd been remembering for the last couple of days and it hurt to know her mother kept forgiving him, easily at that-it was like no matter what he did Jessica would always open her arms and let him back in. Carmen understood a lot about life, just not about forgiveness it was something she didn't believe in just because she'd watch how forgiving people hurt Jessica.

Carmen walked into the house, backpack on her shoulders as she looked around, realizing no one was home. Jess told her she'd be home soon and that she was close but the girl didn't know where her father was, she sat her backpack on the floor after making her way to the kitchen, nothing, it was nothing to eat even though Derek claimed he went grocery shopping just a day before that. Carmen's head turned as a loud thud filled her ears.

"Hello?" she called out, the filipino girl watched more than enough scary movies to know to never follow the sounds and instead leave but her judgement got the best of her and she opened every door in the house until she got to her room, the man laid on the floor, grasping for air as a needle fell out of his arm "oh my fucking god!" her voice got smaller as each word poured out.

She got closer to the body and once he stopped breathing Carmen began to do cpr, "dad!" she continued to scream doing the same patterns "oh god" Jessica gasped, watching her daughter try to bring the man back to life.

"Please" Carmen stopped, laying across his chest. The girl kept repeating the words, crying onto his shirt-Jessica found herself trying to pull the young girl off of the dead body "let go baby, it's okay" she mumbled, tightening her arms around the girl.

----

She knocked on the door to the smaller house, Carmen knew rue would be here after her and fez made up. Her chest hurt, she was tired and her eyes were puffy but listening to another cop question her mother was something she just didn't have the time or emotional control for. the door swung open to ash, scanning her over "is rue here?" Carmen mumbled "yea, what's wrong?" he questioned her.

"I need to talk to her" Carmen ignored his question, Ashtray moved out of the way so she could walk past and the filipino girl did just that, Rue, lexi, faye and fez sat in the living room with 'stand by me' playing faintly in the background "he overdosed" she said.

"Who?" rue asked, looking around at the two other teens in the smaller living room, Ashtrays' mouth widened when he connected the dots, finally figuring out who she'd been talking about "d-derek" Carmen slurred.

"who's Derek?" Faye questioned making Fez gently nudge her, shaking his head no in her direction as Rue rushed towards her, wrapping her arms around the girls shorter body "I was so mean to him rue" tears rushed out.

Fez looked at the three and motioned towards the kitchen, trying to get them all out of the room but Ashtray wouldn't budge, he shook his head no and stood just a few feet behind her "it's not your fault and you can't blame yourself for that" Rue responded, looking down at her "it is though, if I just listened to him..."

"No, carmen, coming from a drug addict it's not your fault he didn't care enough to get healthy" rue in-forced what she last said, Carmen wiped her face after taking a deep breath and looking back at ash "I-I just wanna go to bed" she said knowing her mother would be worried as to where she was.

"Okay, i'll tell jess you're with me" Rue smiled, watching the two walk off "aye, why you let them go in a room alone? have you learned nothing!" Fez yelled at the girl leaving a confused look on her face.

-----

Carmen turned over, now looking at the floor ashtray laid on-the image of her father's replaying in her head "why are you laying on the floor?" she asked, sniffling and wiping her eyes once more. Ashtray sat up, smiling as he climbed into the bed, his body faced hers "you look pretty when you cry" he mumbled, inching closer.

"You flatter me" she grinned, opening up the covers so he could lay under them, their bodies laid skin to skin in front of each-other, Ashtray leaned forwards, placing a kiss on her lips "you wanna try something?" he asked, the boy figured asking about her father would do nothing but upset her even more.

"Depends, clothes on or off?" she bluntly asked, Ash's' eyes widened. his mouth hanging open "on...just hold still" he awkwardly responded, his hands grabbed the sides of her face as the boys lips found her neck.

Before she could realize what was happening a mark was already forming on her neck, "mhm" Carmen hummed, his face shot up, looking at the red-ish un-even bruise on her "did you just give me a hickey?" she panicked.

"Maybe."

"Ash! my moms gonna see this!" she complained, watching him turn on his back, Carmen rubbed over the mark repeatedly knowing it wouldn't just disappear "oh well" Ash laughed, he found it to be hilarious while she was worried about how her mother would lose her shit.

"it's not funny you fucker" Carmen groaned, turning away from him, Ash forced her head back towards his, kissing her mid-sentence, he did it to shut her up but the filipino girl was no longer thinking about her fathers death, instead how good he'd gotten at it "Carmen?" he asked, pulling back.

"Yes...?" she responded.

"Uh, can I be your boyfriend?" Ashtray mumbled, watching carmen's eyebrows furrow, a smile slowly formed on her face "of course, can I be your girlfriend?" Carmen returned the question.

"Of course" he said, wrapping his arms around her waist under the blankets, he snuggled into her side, his head on her chest, he pecked her lips once more before closing his eyes "i'd love to talk to you all night but i'm tired, go to bed" he demanded, pulling the blankets up more.

AUTHORS NOTE
okay so it's only 1-2
more chapters of this
book left, make sure to
comment vote etc
edited