Undeniable Romance

LABING SIYAM

        “HAPPY birthday, Ate January. You know, you're the best ate for me but still, Ate December is the most most Ate above all....”

Pilit akong ngumingiti dahil sa birthday message ni February sa kapatid ko. She make me smile even if my heart is in pain right now.

“...since I was a kid, I always got your back. You always bought me anything and spoiled me whatever I want. We always annoy our Ate because we have the same vibes. Diba you told me dati that Ate December was so serious and strict. So we grow up together. We have the same personality, jolliness and mindset. Happiest birthday ate. Remember that I will always by your side. I love you.”

After that message from February, I felt a bit of happiness. Kahit na sa totoo lang ay hinihiwa ang puso ko. Nagdurugo ang puso ko sa ngayon dahil sa nangyari kanina. Between me and Seve!

Hindi pa ba ko nasanay? For the past 2 yrs, he bedded other woman except for me. I didn't satisfy him and he's not satisfied for me kaya naghahanap at naghahanap pa rin ito ng babaeng maikakama.

I let out a heavy sigh.

I don't want to mess my sisters birthday party. Because I can see in her eyes right now, kung gaano siya kasaya. At makita ko lang silang masaya, masaya na rin ako.

I was silently sitting beside the mini stage. Mom is speaking right now, giving her message to February.

I roam my eyes at the whole area as I suddenly saw him. I swallowed as I take off my eyes on him. Mabilis akong nag iwas tingin at muling itinuon kay Mom ang aking atensyon.

Don't you ever cry, December. Don't fucking cry! Don't hurt yourself. Crying is just for weak people. And you're not one of them!

I close my eyes as I reminded myself.

“Baby....” He was about to kiss me but I just distance myself to him.

I don't want his lips touches any part of my body. Nandidiri ako sa kanya. Diring diri!

I keep myself calm as I nod at him. He even sit beside me but I just remain silent.

Mariin kong nakagat ang aking dila upang pigilan ang luhang kanina pa gustong tumulo.

“I'm sorry...sorry for leaving you last night...” He said. “I had an emergency.” Napatango lang muli ako sa kanya. Emergency? Nice!

“It's fine. Nothing to worry..” At wala ka rin namang karapatan pang malaman kung anong nangyari ng umalis ka.

I smiled sarcastically.

He tried to held my arms but I just distance again from him.

I want to outburst because of madness. Ang kapal kapal ng mukha nitong magpakita sa akin ngayon na gusto pa akong halikan at hawakan.

I want to slap him hard like what I did for that bitch. I really want to confront him but still in the end, I remain silent.

He really think na wala akong alam sa ginawa niya kagabi. Tangina, masakit rin pala. Ang sakit! Ang sakit sakit na makita mo ang lalaking kaniig mo sa halos 2 taon na may kinakama ring iba.

Okay na sa akin na malaman ko lang kasi sanay na sanay naman ako. Na ilang araw lang kaming hindi nagkita noon, may naikakama na siya kaagad na ibang babae.

Pero ngayon, na malinaw na malinaw sa mga mata ko. Malinaw na malinaw sa mga pandinig ko ang kababuyang ginawa nito. Kababuyang ipinamukha nito sa akin.