Into the Shadows - ACOTAR / ACOMAF - Azriel x OC

Chapter VII - Day II

— Lexa —

I didn't fall asleep again. I also didn't focus on my breathing. I just let the cold dread that I thought the binds had stifled swallow me whole.

If it was cold in the cave I could not tell. If there was howling wind or angry beast bellowing outside, I wouldn't care. I just sat there wishing that the darkness enveloping me in its cold grips could be visible like Azriel's.

That my suffering was more than just a fragment of my imagination.

The moments after he woke me, I felt time standstill. I felt like I was a white flame burning ice cold and his warm dark shadows were my only reprieve. And his concern for me... it was like looking at artwork. I wasn't sure if he had meant to show so much emotion, it was so different to the cold expressionless mask that he had donned since that first night.

His shadows had wrapped around me, dousing the burning flames and leaving behind a small warming glow that nestled in my chest.

His hazel eyes had grown in size as worry and confusion fluttered across his irises. His brows had furrowed at a pain he could not fix. His mouth had been parted and his chest raised quickly with each strained breath.

For the first time in my life, I had felt... protected. I reached my hands to grace his high cheekbones. I wanted to soften his features and I didn't know how else to convey that I was now okay.

You also wanted to touch him a voice whispered in the back of my mind. But I stopped myself, it felt like a weirdly intimate thing to do to someone who I had just met. And, lest I forget, who had captured me. Even if he did wake me from my nightmare. 

Eventually, the moonlight changed to a soft pink glow as dawn began to break across the horizon. I left the cave before he could. Doing my stretches outside and feeling for any muscle pain.

We had walked for hours yesterday and today would be no different. But, my legs weren't aching, yet, and I prepared my stomach for another day of scarce food.

The Shadowsinger emerged at my side offering me the canteen of water. I took it without looking at him. I felt embarrassed and weak. Even if he did show genuine concern for me, it probably only went to confirm his suspicions that I was powerless and pathetic.

After all, if he had been able to communicate with me whilst I fought Drak, then who's to say that he didn't hear Drak call me out on my lack of magik?

I passed him the canteen, our fingers grazing as he took it from me. I ignored the delusional spark of warmth I thought I felt fly into my body, wiggling into that numb dark cloud that rested on my chest.

I could feel his eyes on my face, probably assessing the dark circles I knew to be prominent and my even more pale and exhausted expression. I glanced up at him. His eyes had remnants of pity and I clenched my jaw as my eyes hardened.

His own mask of indifference snapped into place and he returned the canteen to his satchel. We walked in silence.

I let my mind wallow in my own disgust as I thought about my plaguing nightmare and the pity that had donned Azriel's eyes when I had woken up. Clutching his shirt like a small child and shuddering in arms like a frightened lamb. Pathetic my mother's voice told me.

"We're close," Azriel said. I didn't bother to acknowledge him or ask what exactly we were close to. At this point, it really didn't matter. I could be close to death and I wouldn't care.

He held his hand behind him signalling me to stop as his shadow danced down his arm and touched my fingers before racing ahead.

"What?" I asked, the curious movements piquing my interest. I came behind him to peer over his shoulder and he placed his hand on the small of my back. I swallowed my gasp as more sparks coursed through my veins and the numbness seemed to dissipate further. Okay, so maybe not a figment of my imagination.