Teach Me Anything [Billie Eilish AU]

eighteen

omniscient

a small but urgent knock took jade out of her stance. she raised a brow and shut her laptop closed before walking towards the door.

when she opened it, the sight made her heart flutter and shatter at the same time. it was billie.

jade could see something was extremely wrong with the girl. her face showed her tired she was, her hair was a mess under her hoodie and she was shaking.

suddenly, billie began to lean forward and she caught her before she hit the ground and closed the door. "i'm sorry, jade." she mumbled.

jade locked the door and let out a sigh while helping billie to the living room couch. "i'm so sorry." billie whispered again, weakly.

"it's okay, princess, it's okay," jade replied. "i'm gonna run you a bath okay? is that fine?"

she watched as billie shifted uncomfortably and turned her head with a groan, "billie, is that fine?"

a small hum left billie's lips and jade nodded and placed a kiss on her forehead before running to the bathroom and turning the warm water on.

she grabbed a towel and some clean clothes for billie and eventually turned the water off once it filled its reaching point. she went back to the living room and helped billie up again and led her to the bathroom.

"alright, come on, i'm gonna help you get in."

billie resisted immediately. "no, i don't wanna."

jade had been through this similar situation before; years ago with her sister. it wasn't new and it was the only reason she was being patient with billie right now.

"you're not doing it alone. come on, let's take it slow."

billie let out a small whimper and sighed shakily when jade began to pull her hoodie over her head. it was only until billie winced and jade saw the dried stains that she knew how bad this was.

but still, she held her composure.

she removed the hoodie off and tossed it into the laundry basket and then softly turned billie's arms over to get a better look.

"i'm sorry, i know i said i would stop but i couldn't help it and it's all i can do to cope, please don't be mad at me, i really tried to stop myself, i swear i tried, i'm not lying, please beli—"

jade cut her off with a soft kiss to the side of billie's head. "i'm not angry with you, billie. i assure you, i'm not. right now, i just want you cleaned up."

billie sniffled and searched jade's eyes for any doubt in her words and decide to take her tank top off herself when she didn't.

once the rest of her clothes was off, she carefully stepped into the comforting warm water and kept her arms out of it like jade told her.

she let out a long awaited sigh and watched as jade exited the bathroom and came back with two small wet rags and a first aid kit. "relax, i got you."

billie nodded at her words, but still continued to watch jade intently as she sat down by the tub and softly take one the wet rags and begin wiping the blood off on one of her arms.

she finished the next arm and placed the rag to the side before pulling out alcohol wipes. "no." billie pulled her arms away.

"don't worry, it'll only sting a bit, but i'll be quick, baby."

billie nodded again and let jade pour a little bit of alcohol on a q tip and slowly rub it on her cut in which she winced immediately. jade shushed her and gave her a loving look before continuing.

a small tear fell down billie's cheek while she felt absorbed in her own disappointment and disgust, along with a slight hinge of pain. "i'm sorry." she mumbled again.

"you're fine, my love."

jade finished and placed gauze on the cuts and taped it.

billie mumbled a thanks and let her arms rest at the sides on the tub and let herself sink further into the water.

jade cleaned up everything and helped billie out of the tub and dry herself. billie was way too weak and tired to even refuse the absolute caring behavior she was receiving, all she wanted to do was crawl back into her bed and go to sleep.

she let jade help her slip one of her hoodies and sweatpants on and sit her on the couch. "you hungry, princess?" jade whispered to her.

billie bit her lip shyly and nodded. "really hungry."

"okay," jade gave her a sympathetic look. "how long has it been since you've eaten something?"

"um, a few days," billie replied. "but i'll eat anything to be honest."

—

a small and comfortable silence, besides the buzz of the heater, filled the bedroom.

along with the buzz of the heater was also the sound of billie's shallow breathing under jade, indicating she fell asleep in jade's arms.

small breaths of relief continuously left jade's lips whenever she looked down at billie, not being to hold back her small smiles as she glanced at the girl's features.

as much as she can was devastated to see billie in her previous state, it was like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders when she was at the front door.

she didn't realize it until that exact moment how deep she was in it with billie until she could feel waves crashing down in her body when she saw.

the instant need to wrap billie in her arms and never let go.

to reassure her that she was loved in this life, possibly by her.

"i don't know how it happened," billie suddenly said out of no where.

"oh, you're awake." jade shifted so she could get a better look at her.

"wasn't really sleeping, but now that i think about it, i'm sorry."

the older woman cocked a brow in confusion, "for what, love?" her hands roamed up billie's shoulders, pressing her fingers softly into the skin.

"this situation. it's been a minute since i've felt this way— ah, never mind,"

billie shook her head, feeling like she was talking too much, but the feelings was washed away when jade looked at her, urging her to go on.

"i guess i wanted to apologize because i know it's triggering for you, because of your sister and all—"

"princess, it's fine." jade whispered to her, kissing her lips sweetly, hoping to deflect the topic.

"are you sure," billie pulled away from her. "if i made you uncomf—"

"bil, i said it's good, really." jade's voice rose a little louder and loud thankfully billie got the memo and just allowed jade to wrap her arms around her again.

she looked at jade and grinned softly when jade placed another kiss on her lips. "you look so beautiful." she told billie.

billie smiled at the compliment and shut her eyes softly, the buzz of the heater, the rise and fall of jade's chest lulling her into a much needed rest.

a/n: missed you guys.