Chapter Four: The Call

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THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE IS A WORK of art! Sobrang manghang-mangha ako nang pumunta kami doon ni Stella kagabi. At tama nga ang sinabi niya na magandang pumunta doon ng gabi dahil sobrang liwanag nito. The bridge is beautifully illuminated all the way from Brooklyn to Manhattan. At mabuti nalang at pumayag akong sumama sakaniya dahil sobrang ganda talaga doon. I actually regret not visiting the Brooklyn Bridge before when I first came to New York. I had no idea how much I had been missing by not coming to Brooklyn.

Ayaw ko mang aminin, pero sobrang nag-enjoy ako sa ginawa naming paggagala sa Brooklyn ni Stella. She's fun to be with. She's daring, charming, and lovely all at the same time. She's nice and thoughtful in her own way. At napansin ko rin na hindi siya nauubusan nang kuwento, at gustong-gusto ko 'yon dahil gano'n din ako, hindi nauubusan ng kuwento.

I'd want to learn more about Stella. And I'm going to take things slowly, very carefully, because I don't want to blow this possibility. The possibility of stop fooling around and be in a serious relationship, to become someone's boyfriend. Or maybe because I'm at the age where most of my friends have their own families now, or they're engaged to someone they love. Maybe, somehow, at the back of my mind, I'm ready to be in that kind of relationship.

Pero gusto kong pag-planuhang mabuti lahat bago ako pumasok sa gano'n relasyon. Dahil ayaw kong maging kagaya ni Dad na lahat nalang minamadali. Walang kaplano-plano. Halos lahat ng babaeng nakikilala niya at nagugustuhan niya ay pinapakasalan at inaanakan niya agad. I don't want to be like him. I don't want to end up like him and become a four-time divorced man with eight children from four different women.

I want to have a small and complete family.

Ayaw kong iparanas sa mga magiging anak ko na hindi sila importante sa buhay ko. Ayaw kong iparanas sakanila na hindi sila mahalaga dahil napapabayaan ko na sila. Ayaw kong iparamdam sakanila na hindi ko ginustong maging anak sila. I don't want my children to experience what I experienced.

When people think of child abuse, they often think of physical abuse. But... neglect is also a form of abuse. And I don't want my children to feel neglected, because, trust me, feeling neglected is one of the worst feeling in the world.

"You're better than him," I enchanted to myself before shaking away my thoughts about my dad. I need to enjoy this vacation. Minsan lang kami magkaroon ng ganitong pagkakataon kaya kailangan namin sulitin 'to.

My phone pinged and I grabbed it from the nightstand. It was from my friend Blaise. He just reminded me to buy him the souvenirs from New York that I promised him. I chuckled when I remembered the incident that happened before I left Manila.

Madalas talaga sa'min ang biglaang lipad kaya madalas may nakahanda na akong bagahe para in case na tawagan ako. Pero nagkataon na tinanggal ko lahat 'yong laman ng luggage bag ko dahil balak ko 'tong ayusin, pero minsan mas gusto kong humilata sa bahay kaya nakalimutan ko nang ayusin uit. Tapos nagkataon na nakatanggap ako nang tawag dalawang oras bago ang biyahe namin papunta New York, at sa sobrang pagmamadali ko ay nakalimutan kong mag-pack ng briefs sa luggage bag ko, at naalala ko nalang noong nasa airport na ako kaya humingi ako ng pabor kay Blaise para bilhan ako ng brief sa mall bago ako umalis.

One Drunken Night in BrooklynTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon