WE ALL DIE ▸ NICK CLARK

xxi. lost

I was laid on Ofelia's and Nick was on mine, drinking the salted water Alicia had given him and that I had brought to my house.

I was almost asleep when I hear knocking on the door.

"Hey," Ofelia says as she enters the house and looks at Nick.

"Hi." He says still a little bit breathless.

"Uhm... I need that." She looks at me and points at the T-shirt at the edge of her bed, and I grab it throwing it at her for her to grab, and she did.

"Asshole." She says playfully at me and I wink at her laughing, as she goes into the bathroom and gets out with a t-shit I gave her. "Behave." She joked before walking away and putting the old shit she was wearing at the end of her bed.

"How are you?" Nick asks me and I look at him.

"You're the one who was locked in a box for five hours, not me."

"Yeah, but with Troy..."

"He was exiled," I say and he nods looking at me as if he was about to say something. "I'm fine, Nick," I assure. "I really am. He fucked up."

"You know that if you need anything you can always count on me, right?" He asks and I nod.

"Thank you." I slightly smile. "For helping me with Troy when he snapped."

"You're welcome."

"You wanna eat?" I ask him as I get up from the bed to sit on the table and I take two slices of bread handling him one as he sits on the table.

"You still have the scar," he says noticing the mark of the bullet wound on my abdomen, due to my short shirt.

"God, I miss it," I mutter more to myself than to him.

"What? Having a bullet on you?" He teases and I roll my eyes.

"I miss you," I say as I feel a tear approaching my eye. "I miss us." I slightly smile. "The boat. Us before all this. When you almost lived in my house and when your mom had an unhealthy obsession with me." I laugh sadly.

"I love you," Nick assures and I finally let the tear fall down my cheek and he gets up.

"Come here." He opens his arms for me to hug him and I get up burring my head on his neck.

"I love you so much, Nick," I confess once again and he hugs me tightly. "Don't leave me." I cry.

"Never." He kisses the top of my head.

"Am I a bad person?"

"Aren't we all?" He asks back.

"You're not," I tell him as I slightly push away just enough to look at him. "You never were, even now... at the end of the world. You're not." He takes a deep breath not believing a word I said and kisses me softly.

I love him with all my heart, probably even more than I love myself. I rather lose myself than him. I hate the version of myself that will do anything to survive, I know there is in me cause I saw it, after Paulo. When I and Nick grew closer again, that part of me left.

When Paulo left and my mother died it opened this hole in me that my father couldn't fill. I hated it so I moved. When I met Nick he clicked perfectly. He was just as broken as me. Every time I lose him I turn into someone I don't know.

__

Nick had gone to Alicia's house to spend the night and I and Ofelia had left this morning to control the water dosage taken by every person.

A lot of people were waiting, and when I say a lot, I mean the whole ranch plus Walker's people. We saw this little girl with someone who could either be her mother or her grandmother on the line and Ofelia decided to go and give her a cup with a bit of water.