Sacrament

Chapter VI: Rudion's Law Office

I wanted to go meet Rudion. Upon hearing about my wish, Nova said: "Then, we shall head towards the crystal tower at the horizon. It is Sir Rudion's office. He is one of supreme intelligence and power. We must treat him with respect and fear. To show our respect, we shall fall to our knees at the sight of him and beg for him to forgive us for wasting his precious time and for entering his private space. It is the etiquette of the Celestial Sages." Astra was surprised. She said: "I'm pretty sure Uncle Rudion wouldn't want his comrades to treat him as if they were his slaves." Nova replied: "We must treat him with respect. Even though I am at a higher position than him (he's the 9th, while I'm the 3rd), I must bow down to him." Astra said: "Oh no, it seems that Nova is a masochist or something." Nova replied: "No! I am not, was never, and will never be a masochist. Stop spreading rumors! Respecting fellow Sages is not masochism." We decided to stop the conversation at that and walked to Rudion's law office.

We entered the building and asked one of the staff members where Rudion's office was. He said: "Mr. Gaara's office is on the top floor at the end of the hallway." We thanked him and rode to the top floor on the elevator.

When we got there, we proceeded down the hallway until we reached the end. We opened the door to his office. He was not completely like I expected. He was in a suit. He also wore some kind of strange leather belts. His hair was blue, and he had pointy ears, just like most other Gaara. Nova bowed down to her knees at the sight of him. She said: "O Lord Rudion, I beg for thy forgiveness for breaching your privacy and entering your workplace without thy permission! Please, forgive this humble mortal soul, my mighty Lord..."

Rudion was surprised. He said: "Nova, this isn't like you. Also, you weren't breaching my privacy. The Legal Codex says that what you have done is not an invasion of privacy." He helped Nova get up. Astra said: "Nice to see you again, Uncle Rudion! Why have you left the Celestial Palace?" Rudion replied: "It's because I wish to become a human. I have found a job, got a passport and visa, and rented a penthouse apartment." Astra being Astra, she said: "Oh! You got an ass port, a visage, and a pen house! Nice! Even though I missed you, I understand that every Celestial Sage decides who and where they want to be, and the other Sages can't force them to only perform Sage duties and always stay at the Celestial Palace. I'm very happy that you chose your own unique path! Go, Uncle Rudion!" Rudion replied: "I missed you too, Astra. Also, it's 'passport', 'visa', and 'penthouse', not 'ass port', 'visage', and 'pen house'. I know that you're not good at remembering unfamiliar terms, but, please try to remember these terms."

Soon after that, someone burst into Rudion's office. It was a young man. He had no shirt on, and the top half of his body was only covered by a few leather belts and pieces of fabric. He had a Celestial Signet on his chest. He started laughing and said: "Hello, brother! Did you miss me? I composed a song recently. It goes like this! Polly had a dolly who ate a roly-poly and a bowl of casserole! And I love my funny sunny money and my honey bunny! Rime slimes have been committing crimes: stealing limes and losing track of time! The rime slimes committed crimes before a mime hit them with a dime!" He started laughing again. Rudion sighed and said: "Aphontis, a few rhyming words compiled into nonsensical sentences is not a song. It was entertaining, but, you should avoid singing this in public to avoid ridicule, as well as public disturbance charges."

Aphontis laughed again and said: "Unfortunately, Rudion didn't like my song. Astra, Zeneca, Nova, strange dude, did you like it?" Astra said: "I loved it! But, just one thing: he's not a strange dude. His name is Simon! He's my friend!" Aphontis responded: "Alright. Nice to meet ya, Simon. Name's Aphontis. I'm an aspiring musician! I'm also Rudion's assistant. I'm his co-council in court, although I don't really understand how courts work. Well, I'm still happy to be a mime with dimes and punish rime slimes for committing crimes!" I couldn't believe that this man was a Celestial Sage. He acted nothing like other Sages, such as Nova, Varna, or Zeneca! He just acted like an ordinary person. He didn't even bring up the fact that he was a Sage and simply said that he was an aspiring musician.

Aphontis sat down on a couch, and another person entered the room. This person said: "Hello, Mr. Gaara. I need your help with something." Rudion replied: "Oh, hello, Mr. Watts. What do you need help with?" Mr. Watts explained: "I was accused of murdering my colleague. I want you to be my defense attorney." Astra said: "I will defend you, Mr. Watts! We Celestial Sages will protect anyone who needs it!" Zeneca said: "I will do my best to help. I have knowledge of law, and I know how courts work." Nova said: "My Lord, I pledge to you that I will deflect all charges thrown towards you and rip apart your accusers with my scythe! My servant Nidhogg will devour all that remains of those heretics who undeservedly accused you!" Aphontis said: "Time to sharpen my claymore like a lime! The rime slimes who committed the crime and accused you shall be hit with a dime and slashed with a claymore!" Mr. Watts said: "That's a very...interesting defense team. Will you defend me, Mr. Gaara?" Rudion agreed. We prepared the materials of the case and the evidence, and then left Rudion's office. We slept at the Helios, as always.