Rift

Chapter 8: Paranoia

Even if he had the physical capability to sleep, he doubts he would have been able too anyway. More than once throughout the night he found himself contemplating deactivating either his mental or emotional processing, just for a bit of relief from the painful thoughts and emotions coursing through his heart and mind.

But he couldn't since he can't tell which part hurts most. The thoughts or the feelings. All of the doubt and fear, the guilt and complications. He wants to believe in the thought that this is just another SRL problem that Regan can simply fix, but with magic involved, it's not so simple anymore. As if anything they're forced to deal with is ever simple.

Most painful of all, for a brief – microscopic moment, he actually believed that they had a chance at being happy. That after this was done, they would go home and live out their days in peace. In Mortal. Sage. Hell, even Unity now that it's safer. Anywhere Edith would have wanted to go to have a family, he wouldn't have minded. So long as she was happy, he would be too.

But no. The universe decided they weren't worth it. Only this time, it really is his fault.

If he had stopped for just a moment to think before acting that night in Sage, this wouldn't have happened. He knew that Bio SRLs were designed by Alain, himself, before he understood the concept of pleasure. Reproduction between Bio SRL is easier than it is for humans. Deep down, he knew the risk that this would happen to Edith, but in that moment he let his emotions cloud his judgment and because of that, Edith's life is on the line.

If he had been whole back then, he would have known better.

Colin just sits on the edge of the bed with his back slouched and his head hanging low. He can see through the windows and the slivers in the cracked wooden walls that the sun is coming up, but he has no real desire to move from his spot. From this moment in time.

Edith remains asleep behind him. It amazes him how much she can sleep for an SRL, even for a Bio. He supposes it's likely on account of the baby, but he still wishes he could have the luxury of resting as easily as she can. To not be forced to sit awake, alone with his thoughts for hours each night would certainly do him a world of good.

He stares at her sleeping face, noting how peaceful she looks. He doesn't understand how she can be so unbothered, but he guesses she doesn't have to worry as much about her condition as the rest of them do. All she cares about is her baby, and she won't hesitate to lay down her life to give her child a chance to live.

It goes without saying that he doesn't want to lose her. But nor does he want to lose the baby. He is left helpless to save either of them in his position. Regan might be able to figure something out, but ultimately the choice falls on no one but Edith herself to make, and it's clear her mind has already been made up.

He lifts his head as there's a knock on the door. It sounded stern, and possibly like metal hitting wood which gives him a warning of who's on the other side. The sudden sound startled him a bit, but he's too distracted by his thoughts on Edith to really jump at the intrusive noise.

Colin sighs and spares Edith one last glance, gently brushing her cheek before he gets up and opens the door. Confirming his suspicion, Cree is in the hallway leaned back against the wall beside the door with his arms crossed.

He turns his head to peer up at Colin over his shoulder, meeting his eyes with a tired glare.

Colin quietly clears his throat. With his restlessness, he hadn't thought about what he might say to Cree. Out of everyone here, he is probably the one person he understands the least. They've never really had a chance to talk.

Well, they have. But Cree typically walks away before they can actually do the talking part.

"Tyrell," Colin says quietly. "Edith's still asleep, if you were hoping to—"