Rift

Chapter 16: Waking Reality

Waking from a nightmare into a far worse reality is like being pulled out of a burning building to be shoved under water, being forced to drown as the flames are put out. The burns sting your body and the water fills your lungs and all you can do is silently scream for someone to pull you out.

Edith sits on the edge of her bed, blankly staring at the floorboards of her room on the wrecked ship. Her body feels weightless and numb. She wasn't even there when it happened. She could just feel it. She felt Colin's anguish and terror, like he was screaming on the inside but didn't know how to make a sound.

("Colin? What's going on? What happened to Regan?"

"...There's no time... We just have to go... Now."

"What? Why? And where's Cree?"

"..."

"Colin. Where is Cree?"

"...I'm so sorry, doll...")

They couldn't go back. Not yet. All of the barriers are down, but returning to Utopia feels wrong. Everyone has been silent since they returned to the island. Colin brought Regan to his room to rest, but after he woke up he hasn't said a word or even left his room. Or if he has, then none of them have seen it.

Kylen hasn't been seen since the ball. Colin filled Edith in on everything that happened. So without a word from the Hex, they can only assume they've turned against the rest of them.

Then there's Oscar. "The Envoy." Even before they left, she still couldn't tell for certain if that man was really her son. What kind of mother is she? How can she not be able to tell? Oscar was her life, her world, her everything. But that man shows nothing she once saw in her little boy.

Maybe it's because of that. Maybe she still doesn't know if she wants that man to be her son. Why does he follow The Director? Why play in her game?

This is all just some sick joke. 

But out of the entire nightmare they're in, of every terrible thing happening around them, only one thing manages to enter Edith's mind and she can't get it out no matter how hard she tries.

Cree is dead.

Those words repeat in her head over and over and yet they still don't feel like words at all. They don't feel real. They can't be real.

She thought for sure they would make it. All of them would return home and everything would be fine. She should have known better.

Happy endings aren't for them. Since the beginning, all they've been given has been loss and despair. She lost her family, Madhavi, John, CLive twice, and now she has also lost Cree. Cree Tyrell. Her best friend – her brother. Regan's love.

Now it's all gone.

There's a soft knock on the door and she momentarily considers ignoring it, but she can already tell it's Colin just by the way she felt a spike in anxiety in her EPC just from how he's feeling.

His emotions have been all over the place lately. Ever since that moment. Anger, grief, anxiety, but above everything else, the emotion that fills his heart the most prominently, guilt.

He blames himself.

She can see why he would feel guilty for this, even though she doesn't feel the same way. He thinks he ran again. He thinks he left Cree behind again, just like John and Malachi. But this time there was nothing he could have done.

She has to force herself to stand, but her legs are unsteady. She trembles and has to brace herself against the bed and then the wall as she reaches the door. Her hand shakes as she reaches for the knob, so she forces herself to take a deep breath and open it before it can get too bad.