While the Sun Shines

25.

Nick felt like a traitor, but eventually he texted Sem all was fine, not mentioning Alex, Blake, or the Ace of Spades. He talked it right for himself by saying he didn't need to tell his best friend everything. Details about his romantic and sexual encounters or budding, inappropriate crushes could stay private, even among the best of friends. Sem only needed to know what was going on if Nick was actually going to get a boyfriend. Since Alex gave Nick a big, fat no, that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Nick had spent twenty-one years of his life not running into any man who was interested in him. He could easily go another twenty-one years if he just stopped talking to people. 

That was exactly what Nick did for the rest of the week. He wasn't rude to anyone—he was just a ghost. The only person Nick really spoke with, in a strictly friendship way, was Alex, for the online card games night they'd planned. Otherwise, Nick showed up for lectures, went running a few times, and studied extra hard for his upcoming exam.

By accident, Nick stumbled upon a page on the university website where he could book a small, private room to use for studying. If he got up at six in the morning and checked immediately, he was in time with booking one before all the slots filled up.  

Blake never asked where Nick was or got into his business, until the day they were supposed to meet for dinner. A text rolled in around noon, asking if they were still on for tonight. Of course, Nick didn't think Blake would've forgotten since he insisted so much they'd eat together again. Still, Nick found himself a little surprised that Blake kept following up. Didn't he have better plans? Couldn't he pull open a can of new, significantly less awkward friends, and hang out with them? 

Nick sighed. If Blake insisted...

Nick: Sure. I'll do the groceries and cook. Dinner's ready at seven.

Nick put his phone away immediately after answering Blake. He tried to focus, but the ant colony, which had decided to settle in the pit of his stomach, made it all but impossible to get any brain work done. Eventually, Nick decided to call it a day early. And since that meant he was free all afternoon, he decided to make everything for dinner tonight from scratch. Including the ravioli with butternut squash filling. 

But once he'd gotten all the groceries and arrived at the apartment, Nick's overthinking brain struck again. Was this too much? Would Blake notice he was making a rather big effort for someone who was only supposed to be his roommate? This was the kind of meal Nick would make for someone he wanted to impress. And yes, on some level he did want to impress Blake but he couldn't know about that.

Nick paced up and down the kitchen and the living room, trying to decide whether he'd just store the groceries in the fridge and get something easy like pre-made pizza dough and a ton of cheese. Pizza always tasted good, and it wouldn't look like Nick had spent way too much time making it.

With a groan, Nick eventually decided against this plan. He'd already spent too much money on this food—he couldn't afford to change his mind. Nick got to work, but he couldn't enjoy the process as much as he usually did. Every little sound in the apartment made him jump, thinking Blake got home early. 

He didn't. 

Nick finished cooking at seven o'clock sharp. He brought the steaming pan filled with pasta to the table, but Blake was nowhere to be seen yet. Every doom thought crossed Nick's mind: he was getting stood up. Blake had found better plans and decided to ditch. Or Blake was getting bothered by that stranger from Grindr again. He'd been kidnapped. He'd been run over by a bus. 

With each passing minute Nick's pulse spiked further. He was practically bouncing off the walls until Blake came sauntering into the living room a casual five minutes late. When he saw the royal amount of pasta, his eyes went wide. 

A grin spread on Blake's face as he looked at Nick. "Wow. Is this what it's like to be on your good side? Because I can certainly get used to it." 

Nick felt his cheeks flame. He instantly forgot about his doom thoughts, because they were silly anyway because Blake was only five minutes late. "I guess that's one of the few perks, yeah," he muttered. 

Blake walked to the table and took a seat. "Is another possible perk you helping me prepare for an exam? Do you have time to interrogate me tonight?" 

Blake's eyes twinkled. A lopsided smile twisted his full lips, and it was doing things to Nick. Like making his mouth move before his brain could catch up. 

"Yeah, sure I can do that," Nick said, silently cursing himself as he took a seat opposite Blake. 

This was not the plan. The plan was staying away and a tight lid. Not staring at Blake as he smiled, and then taking in the concentrated frown as he filled his plate with pasta. The plan certainly didn't involve holding his breath as Blake took a bite and watching his face light up.  

Blake suddenly turned to Nick. Nick's stomach did a double backflip. 

"Hey, remember how I totally didn't forgive you?" Blake asked with a teasing smile. 

"What?"

"Well, I forgive you a little bit more if you keep cooking like this. Oh, and I'll forgive you even further if you watch the first movie of Lord of the Rings with me tonight." 

Nick liked to think he was getting a little better at reading Blake, and this was obvious teasing again. He was sure Blake didn't actually mean it when he said he didn't forgive Nick, but there still was a pang in his chest. 

"I thought you wanted to study?" Nick asked. 

"Yeah, that too, I guess." Blake shrugged. "But we can do both. Life's more than studying, and I'm sure you've been doing a lot of it this week already. Though, I haven't seen you around the library." 

Nick turned his gaze down to his pasta. "No, uh, I work better alone. And at this point I really do need to do whatever it takes to raise my grades up from the grave." 

"Yeah, that's fair," Blake replied. "But let me know if you, like, need me to grill you some time, mkay?"

"No, that's okay, I've always studied on my own."

"Was that really a choice though, considering who your friends were in high school?"

Nick snorted at Blake's remark. No lies detected there. Studying hard wasn't cool in the football club. You had the Sems who could put in minimal effort and get by on brain power. Sem thought he wasn't smart, but he was. Then there were the ones of them who ran into trouble and were held back, or the ones like Nick, who ended up studying quietly on free nights without talking about it. 

"I guess it wasn't really a choice," Nick concluded. 

"That's what I thought," Blake said between bites. "Well, if you ever want to give group studying a try, come to the library. Lara, Mia, Carson and I are often there, and it really helps to stay motivated." 

Nick hummed in response. He noted Blake's plate was empty. He was already getting seconds, while Nick wasn't even halfway done with his first plate. Honestly, where did that skinny guy leave it? Nick fought the smile that tugged at his lips. "I'll think about it. The study group," he said.  

"Sure. But really do think about it." Blake glanced up at Nick. "I'd been hoping we would spend more time together now we'd talked things out and be friends." 

Blake looked serious. Nick's brain flatlined. "I—I mean, we're going to hang out tonight. Watch Lord of the Rings." 

"Yep!" Blake said with a smile. 

If he was faking the way he perked up, Blake was an incredible actor. Nick still half-believed it was acting and Blake secretly still hated him. For what reason? No clue. But try to talk sense into anxiety—it didn't work. Besides... if Blake wasn't faking his interest in friendship, well, Nick was in much more trouble than he'd already thought.