It's Always Been You

Chapter 26

April 2022 - Stockholm, Sweden

After spending a couple of days hanging out with family, and trying my best to ignore the situation at hand, it was time for Farmor's funeral, where we would all have to confront the fact that she had actually died. She was going to be buried at the family plot next to Farfar, along with Dad and Astrid, and a lot of our Swedish friends were attending, and quite a few were some I hadn't seen in a while. We didn't live in the main city of Stockholm, our house being located in the eastern part of the county and in the countryside, a small village where you knew everyone and they all knew you. There was only one school, so you grew up alongside all of the children and their families. Back when I was younger, my routine was pretty simple. At first, after the accident, it took me a while to get back to playing football and even going on car rides, however eventually I restarted playing at AIK during the youth levels, with Farmor or Mom taking me straight after school for four or five days out of the week, while I spent the other evenings either at the gym or doing my own training in our backyard.

With my busy football schedule, I found it difficult to spend time with my school friends, and ended up making a lot more from my team. However, because everyone was so close-knit in my town, along with my siblings, I still ended up close with everyone and it almost stayed that way even as we grew older. We would all lose touch when we went to our newer homes all across the world, but especially during Christmas time, the majority of us were reunited. Farmor was quite popular in the village, especially after spending nearly fifteen years in the same house which was quite secluded in comparison to the others. In the summer the children would ride bikes and in the winter they would go sledding or ice skating in the nearby lake, where Farmor would always bake treats and give them hot chocolate after a day full of  fun and games. A few years after the accident and a few years before my siblings and I moved out, we were at a good place as a family, financially and mentally, so we often hosted celebrations and even hosted our own local football matches, since we had a large unoccupied land space behind our house. Farmor also sold vegetables and fruits at the local market in the summer, as we had a small garden in our backyard and home-grew the majority of our food.  Everyone loved her, the young children, teenagers and even all of the adults, and sometimes she would even spend time at the local school, teaching the older students English along with volunteering to work for the children in förskoleklass and lågstadiet, which are the grades between the preschool and late kindergarten years.

So it didn't come as too much of a surprise when a large part of the village came to Farmor's funeral, the parents all dressed in black with their children in tow, wearing confused expressions on their faces. A couple of my childhood friends were in Sweden, either staying to work locally or returning to visit, however most had gone away for university or other international opportunities and were still abroad, but it was nice to see those who were home, regardless. There was Nellie, who was a couple of years older than me but she stayed in our town to work as a teacher. Then there was Wilma, who had come back to visit on her holiday but was working as a journalist in Australia. And finally Gabriel, who was graduating med school in America this upcoming summer. It was always interesting to see the different paths that each of my younger friends took, and it always made me feel nostalgic thinking about where we had started and where we were now.

Being at the graveyard felt strange, especially with the burial of my grandmother and her headstone, adding to the other familiar ones. I wanted to say a few words, so I had prepared an eulogy which I would say after the main service. It was solemn event, as funerals were meant to be, and I felt extremely numb and empty. Oh how I wished that I had Farmor beside me, laughing or telling me a funny story. She had a way of lighting up people's lives, especially children, and it was so beautiful to watch the way that they were instantly drawn to her immaculate and enticing energy, but now I wouldn't be able to see that anymore.