It's Always Been You

Chapter 40

August 2022 - Stockholm, Sweden

"Good morning!" Daan said to me as I walked into the kitchen, quite late in the morning already. She was with Mom and Andreas, and they were cooking some blueberry chocolate pancakes, which were my favourite.

"Wow, these look delicious." I exclaimed, noticing the stacks of pancakes on the counter and some remaining batter by the stove. "Julie not up yet?"

"There's no one worse than Julie when it comes to waking up." Andreas joked, causing us all to laugh.

"What did you just say?" A groggy voice asked from the hallway. It was Julie, who had just woken up and was bothered by his comment.

"What? It's true!" He justified, making us laugh even more.

Danielle had been with us in Sweden for a week now, and it had been great. She was getting along well with my family, despite a small language barrier, and she fit right in. We were playing our board games, watching movies and we even got her into our Swedish football, although she was yet to decide whether she was an AIK or a Malmö fan. Andreas had even given her one of the new Malmö jerseys in an attempt to persuade her, but she claimed she 'needed to watch them play more', which satisfied the whole family as we could continue to force her to watch even more of the Allsvenskan with us, while we shouted in Swedish at the TV, with words she couldn't even understand.

After breakfast, it was time for my yearly visit to the graveyard. Daan offered to come with me, and although I would usually say no to company, I felt compelled to bring her. Julie definitely was confused, as she had never been allowed to go with me as in the past I had always gone alone, but I pushed it aside.

I brought flowers that Daan and I had handpicked yesterday, four bouquets with a wide range of bright colours, but it was the first time I had to bring an extra one.

Daan tried to keep her distance as I sat down beside the familiar gravestones, but I ushered her over after a few minutes of my own mourning. She reluctantly walked towards me, not wanting to intrude, her thoughtfulness making me smile inside.

"Do you know why I come here every year, on this specific date?" I asked, although I wasn't expecting her to know the answer. She shook her head, which prompted me to tell her. "In the summer of 2009, some months after they all died, I came here in June, at the start of the summer. It had been a poor holiday so far, not warm as it should've been. I cried for the whole day I was here, just sitting and sobbing. The following weeks, I told myself that I needed to get myself together. Andreas was already working hard, but my Mom and Julie were still struggling. That summer I toughened up and I stayed strong for my family. I forced them to get back into their usual routines and did everything I could to help out. By the end of the summer we had all gotten somewhat better, and were living relatively normally. I came back exactly fourteen years ago today and practically said goodbye to grief, which is something a thirteen year old girl shouldn't have to do. But I did anyways, and since then it has become a tradition to go by myself every year, and my family respects it. They have their own routines to cope with the losses, and I don't question it."

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that all alone." She said simply, crouching down beside me and pulling me into a hug.

"You know I've never told anyone this before. My family, sure they question it, but they wouldn't ask, and it's not like I feel like I need to tell them."

"Sometimes it's nice to confide in the people your closest too though, it relives the pressure on yourself, or at least that's what it's done in my experience."

"Wise one." I answered, laughing and smiling at her. "I wish you could've known them, they would've loved you."

"I do too." She said solemnly, before cracking a joke in an attempt to make me laugh, "So Astrid, what are you doing up there? Am I good enough for your little sister?"

"I think she said yes." I replied, before pulling her in for a kiss, feeling safe, you could say, for once, although still exposed in an emotional way.

"Isn't it crazy how we ended up here, together, in this moment?" Daan asked philosophically, "That sounds ridiculous I know, but I feel really lucky to have met you."

"That's what I said to you on your birthday!" I teased, "Don't try and copy what I say to you, or else I won't be able to woo you with my words."

"Woo me with your words?" Daan replied laughing, "You are a silly one."

"Next week we would've known each other for a year." I said, recalling our first interaction. "Can you believe it's been a year?"

"Not really no, to be honest the latter half absolutely flew by because of my injury." Daan replied, "I wish I could've been more apart of the team, and also the national team too. I moved to Lyon to win the Champion's League, and I didn't even really get to."

"That's such a lie, don't say that! You were so good in all of the matches you played, and I know we would've done even better had you been there."

"You know my original plan when I left Arsenal was to play in Lyon for a couple years and then return. It was what a few others did, and I really, really, loved it there."

"I loved playing in the WSL too, although my experience was probably a bit different than yours. If I did go back, I wouldn't go to City though. Anyways, I'm quite happy in France."

"I am happy too. I am happy also to be with you, and to be enjoying beautiful Sweden. You have to come to the Netherlands, it's not fair that you can show off your home and I can't show off mine."

"Maybe Christmas, I can meet your family then, if you want of course."

"Of course I do!" Daan responded, before a moment of silence fell onto us. I knew what she was thinking, and I was just waiting to see whether she would make the first move. "Anyways, speaking of 'meeting the family' and all, I was wondering..."

I raised my eyebrows questioningly, encouraging her to continue. She asked, "Valentine Hanne Dahlberg, will you be my girlfriend?"

"No, I won't." I answered sarcastically, before kissing her once more, genuinely feeling like the luckiest girl on earth.