"I'm in a constant state of disassociation. "
That's what I tell myself.
It's the only conclusion I've been able to come to for why I
Just can't
Remember.
No, this isn't a case of simple forgetfulness.
It's so much deeper.
As the days stream by and blend together
I forget yesterday
I barley remember an hour ago.
It's not a joke anymore.
It's scaring me.
I cant remember if I've eaten
I cant remember to drink
I cant remember phone numbers.
Addresses
Birthdays
Holidays
Orders I've placed
Things I've done
the places I've been.
It's a constant battle to remember.
I take pictures of everything I can because I know
That if I have a picture I might be able to remember.
I record conversations
Write down lists
And take screenshots
Just to remember important details.
I forget what wrong doings have been done to me
I forget what I've done to other people.
I walk out and back into buildings at least twice because I
Always
Forget something.
My phone
My hoodie
My watch
My car keys
My backpack
I forgot to pee
I forgot my drink
I forgot
I forgot
I Forgot.
I'm so tired of forgetting.
I just want to be present again
What if I forgot about my mom?
Or my dad?
My poor sister???
What if I forget my cousins
And my aunts
And my uncles
My grandparents!
I cant do that.
They need me
They love me.
I can't just forget.
But it feels like I am
YOU ARE READING
My thoughts on your screen
PoetryI've always loved writing even if I'm not good at it. Guys if this ever does get published or even if this is a random person going through my phone who just happened to come along this I'm gonna give you a HEFTY TRIGGER WARNING!!!! ESPECIALLY FOR 1...
