𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐎, fezco

36.

"My name is Juno and I'm an addict."

That was the hardest sentence she ever had to speak in her life. Sobriety, it was so hard for her to find, so hard to stick to.

"I started taking drugs when I was fourteen."

Fourteen was when she met Fez. Fourteen was when she met Ash. Fourteen was when she met her soulmates, one platonic and one romantic.

"I met my boyfriend when I was fourteen, he sold me the drugs. It was normal, he was a drug dealer and I was a teenager looking for a good high."

Being a drug dealer landed him in prison, being a drug dealer landed Ashtray dead. Being with a drug dealer made Juno spiral.

"I started taking heavier drugs a little after that, I met my ex, he used to make me feel bad about myself, he used to manipulate me and gaslight me and my only place away from that was somewhere doing drugs."

The only place she felt free was when she was doing coke, popping a pill. Maybe even just having a shot, it was her escape from Nate.

"We broke up, I spiralled, I did so many drugs that week I didn't remember my name, didn't remember the last time I was sober. But I got better."

She went to the gym, drank a lot less, went for runs, ate healthy. And she felt happier. And she made friends with Rue.

"I'd say Rue is me in a different life. We had the same kinda shit, I'm not saying my life is anywhere the same as hers but we struggle to stay sober, we struggle to stay alive in this world. Rue overdosed. She went to rehab, she stayed clean until she got out. Sometimes I wish I could've overdosed so I could've gotten cleaner a lot faster."

Sometimes Juno thought about the possibilities, if she didn't meet Fez or Ash, if Nate was a good and loving boyfriend, if Fez didn't spot her for one bag of Xanax bars.

"But I didn't, I stayed a junkie, I walked around my boyfriends house like a zombie crackhead, I wasn't okay. My exes dad caused some shit so I spiralled again, I didn't know what was doing on. I wasn't home for days at a time, nobody knew where I was. And then one day I fucked my ex. Don't get mad at me, my boyfriend and I weren't together we were just fuckin. And he fucked his roommate. And I went home to his house fucking distraught, I cried over and over that I loved him and I did. I left, I didn't want anyone to see me as a mess so I went to upstate New York and got clean. I came back to east highland to see my friends, the ones that I call family."

The temptation was so there when Juno returned to east highland, she could've got wasted and out of her mind drunk but she wanted to remember things.

"I was clean for six months. And then Ashtray got shot. Ash was like my brother — no he was my brother. He was there for me through thick and thin and I loved him for that, I would've done anything for that kid. But they shot him right in front of my eyes. He was a kid, a fucking boy and they shot him in the head. Didn't clean his blood off of the floor, shot my boyfriend and tried to stop me from hugging Ash's body. And then I started getting high again."

The moment she felt it she got high again, it was the only thing keeping her sane in that house. The only thing keeping her from going completely and utterly insane.

"I see my boyfriend in jail sometimes. I don't really see my friends, Cassie and Maddy are still fighting, I think BB is pregnant again and I  don't know what's gonna happen next. I want to stay sober because my memories of Ash are slowly drifting away, and I wanna think of them as I go to sleep, I wanna added his face in my dreams. So that's my goal to stay sober. Thank you."

A round of applause echoed around the room as Juno stepped down from the podium and sat nervously next to her sponsor. "Thank you."

Next to Juno sat Rue, she'd been sober for over two years now and she helped Juno majorly. It was something she would always struggle with, even when she was waiting to go into the prison she wanted to pop a Xanax but the fact she had a small child waiting at home said a lot.

It wasn't hers, no it was a stray that Maddy picked up and dumped on her so now it calls Juno 'mom.'

Juno will not be returning for season 3.