immutable

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄.

my hands are full of blisters.

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EACH AND every flowers has its charms- its meaning and beauty that make it have a reason to try and please people who watches it in every corner. Slowly those flowers will wither though and one day people will throw it all out without even feeling anything.

But someone once told you to continue on loving them- take care of them, give them a home to stay in, and someone to rely on.

Even though his words dissolved into dust, you will never forget how gentle and kind his words was when you met him every single day.

It was just right after school- surprisingly today's tutor sessions with Baji Keisuke ended early. Maybe it's because you have stuffs to do. Like taking out a fresh flower and decorating it, making fresh scars appearing on your fingers.

Well, you've always had scars ever since then but no one seemed to notice it.

"Summer recently started..." The flaming light hits your skin with a few drops of sweat all over your face. The tomb bestowed in front of you- the flowers you took out for him. You still couldn't forget how bright he shines when he's together with everyone.

A strand of your hair falls down onto your face as you lowered your head, reading the name carved in.

"Shinichiro-san." The sides of your lips curved up, a ghostly grin that can be seen. "I came here just like what you've said. I even brought your favorite flower- You liked them don't you?"

A bitter laugh made its way out, "Before... You didn't even have a favorite after meeting Mother didn't you? Daffodil's suits you perfectly."

The wind passes by and your hair dances along with its direction. August was the day Shinichiro died, you heard it came from an accident but you've never want to go into detail- and you'll never will.

You don't want to go through another pain when you're still grieving in silence. No one has to know even, it's none of their business either ways.

"Hey," Calling out to the person who probably wouldn't reply back. "Don't you know, my hands are full of blisters after making that bouquet for you." Another silence enters the stage and it's always like this when you're talking to him.

Shinichiro is the one who starts the conversation whenever you're together with him and now he's gone. Who is left to talk to you when you have nowhere to run at?

"Why'd you have to leave all of the sudden, you fucking shit head."

Tears that wants to flow but how can that be when you've said that you already wasted all of your tears years ago? Therefore you bit the inner skin of your mouth, making sure to feel the pain to wash the left over guilt that was starting to grow within you.

The world is clearly unfair, opposing to your dreams of being able to protect someone from danger. If that's so, why are still keeping a facade? To fool others including yourself- to believe that you've always wanted this life where your hands are itching to hit a bullet?

No words can't better describe it, you live in a never ending hole that will only get you to nowhere.

It's better to trap yourself in than to show it all out. You never liked how you acted back then anyways.