the last kids on earth, but with a twist: season 1

the ping pong table

(Dirk POV)

"So, Quint" I ask laying on the double bed with him, "how was the apocalypse."

"Terrifying. you?"

"Same."

"Guys!" jack's voice cutting through our intense conversation "I'm back! with the gas and a new pet!"

me and Quint hop out of bed put on some clothes and lean out of the window, to see Jack and a huge monster dog. an adorable monster dog!

"Jack!" Quint says "we can't keep that thing. we don't even have dog food!"

"aw can we keep him?" me and Jack say at the same time "Can we? Can we? Can we?"

"fine" Quint says rolling his eyes, but I saw a smirk sneak into his face, "but you guys have to walk him and feed him and pick up after him yourselves."

"where's some dog food?" Jack asks me as we started the truck up.

"Maybe Walmart?" I say "doesn't that place have everything? let's check there."

we do an amazing parking job right next to Walmart. because the parking lot is jammed with zombies. luckily, we have something for this exact situation.

"The zombie caller!" jack says as if this is a commercial "complete with every monster movie screams ever, for all of your zombie calling screams! just turn up the egg timer and run!"

"Dude, I know how to work it." I say hefting the bulky speaker over to the sidewalk "I was there when Quint made it. Oh and he called it the Scream Machine"

"oh that's much better. the Scream Machine! complete with-"

"Less talking more screaming."

I set the timer and run, ducking behind big mama. we wait for about a minute (I didn't pay attention to the timer) and when the screaming started me and Jack grabbed our guns and sneaked inside Walmart.

that place was a mess. the usually stainless white tiles were smudged with mud, and blood. some of the shelves knocked over. Also there was toilet paper strewn all over the place after we left because me and Jack may or may not have started throwing toilet paper at each other.

"Hey Dirk!" Jack says lifting up a super soaker, "you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"that you look ridiculous?" I ask "yes. and also I would love to prank Quint with that."

"I don't think I look ridiculous."

"you do."

I heft about half a dozen dog food bags into a shopping cart while Jack carries a couple super soakers. I also grab some stuff for gardening, because I don't think Poptart smores are gonna do the trick for me. Jack looks at me funny but once I glare at him he gets a sudden interest in his sneakers.

we're about to walk out the door when I hear a thunderous roar.

"BLARG!"

"No no no" Jack says his eyes widening in fear "not here. not now."

a giant purple monster knocks down a wall behind us before smashing down nearly half a dozen of the toy aisles. it turns it's grotesque head towards me and Jack, and It's green eyes narrow on Jack.

"Jack?" I ask stepping backwards "do you know what this thing is? more importantly should we be running?"

"Well, I call him Blarg" Jack says

"creative"

"Shut it. any way I may or may not have stabbed him in the eye. and shot him with your shotgun."

"What!?!"

"We should also probably run"

me and Jack whip around running down the tech area as Blarg starts barreling through the store. we both are able to get into the back storage area, and sit to catch our breathes.

"Dude" I say chest heaving.

"what" Jack asks downing a water bottle he found

"You stabbed *gasp* an effing monster *gasp* in the eye."

"yeah"

"I'm telling Quint about this."

"tattletale"

"BLARG!"

me and Jack dive to the side just as the wall behind us is smashed to smithereens. we do some commando style hand signals and split up. We would've been able to get out if it wasn't for some zombie workers.

"Dirk, what do we do?" Jack asks

"Why are you asking me?" I shoot back "Quint's the one who knows what to do!"

"We can't use our guns, or we risk attracting Blarg. and I don't think we can take these guys with our other weapons."

"Hand me that ping pong table"

"What?"

I lunge for the ping pong table and use it as a shield to barrel past the zombies. Jack does his best to help by smacking zombies with the couple paddles, but it doesn't do much. everything was going pretty well. until the raider showed up.

"Almost there!" I call back to Jack who was carrying some ping pong paddles and balls, "just a few more zombies to go!"

bang! bang! unfortunately we hear gun shots echoing down the huge warehouse. Me and Jack turn around to see a masked person with bull horns. this raider is carrying a huge sniper rifle and shooting, SHOOTING, a giant barney monster. this is why this person whoever they are scares me. 

"I HATE YOU!" the raider screams, voice straining "I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!"

"JACK LET'S GO!" I shout

the raider whips around obviously not knowing anyone else was there. whoever this person was could've died. If Jack kept his mouth shut.

"BEHIND YOU!" Jack yelled "GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

"jack what are you doing?" I hiss "this guy is probably crazy."

the raider dives out of Blarg's way before the purple monster trampled through aisles of toilet paper. me and Jack hop into Big Mama. I give jack a glare, that would've killed him in middle school.

"why did you tell them to move?" I growl "they would've been out of our way"

"what was wrong with that?" Jack asks "do you even know their name?"

"no. but they're obviously bad news!"

"can't that same thing be said about you?"

we sit in silence for the rest of the ride. when we get to the house Quint ushers me inside the workshop (I.E. the garage) while Jack just stands by big mama. 

after our fight in middle school I thought we were more or less friends. we started hanging out at joe's pizza, or at least when he could get away from the abuse at his house. but then he just disappeared. 

me and Quint started talking about him, and in high school things took off. I always thought that Jack was still his annoying, goofy, weirdo self. I never thought a bit of him from that fight was still there.

VROOM! speaking of Jack, he stole Big Mama.