Roommates

Queen of broken hearts

This last week in Portland had opened Jamie's eyes to see how selfish she's been and how much she's hurt both Thomas and Steve. After several brutally honest chats with Charlie and one major breakdown via Skype with Dr Kent she realized what she had to do. Saying goodbye to her friend at JFK she let Bucky load up her stuff in her car that he'd had been kind enough to bring so she wouldn't have to worry about a cab. Settling in the passenger seat she looked over at him with a tired smile as she buckled in. "Thanks for coming to get me and my stuff."

Giving her a concerned glance as he pulled into traffic he waved off her thanks. "No problem. I'm glad I could help. Are you okay? I hate to say this, but you look a little rough." Jamie knew she looked tired and wane. She hadn't slept much last night and hadn't been able to eat much this morning.

Turning to face the passenger window Jamie softly spoke. "I'm not, but hopefully soon I will be. Let's just say this little break from my wreck of a life has been eye opening and I haven't come out looking so good."

Bucky kept glancing over at her. More worried now that she was back than while she had been gone. Her texts and phone calls had given him hope that this trip had done her some good, but something must have happened since the last time they spoke. All he knew was that when she saw him she'd practically fallen into his arms, her eyes filled with exhaustion and sadness. Jamie's only request was for him to drop her off at Thomas' apartment on his way home. It made him nervous about what decision she'd come to because she told him that she would catch a cab home because she didn't know when they would be done talking and didn't want him to wait up for her. What Bucky didn't know was that she was going to end things for good with him. It just wasn't fair to keep leading Thomas on even if she wanted what he did. She just wasn't ready for it and she had too many issues to count that she had to deal with before she would be. Jamie knew it was going to be a messy break up. She just felt it deep down. There was too much love. Too many hurt feelings and now mistrust for there not to be.

Nearly forty minutes later he pulled up outside of Thomas' building. Before she could exit the car he grasped her hand. "I don't have anything else planned for the day so call me when you're ready to come home. I don't want to hear you say anything other other than, 'Yes, Bucky, I'll call you'. Got it?" He cut off any denial she might have thought about giving him.

Giving him a half-hearted smile she nodded. "Yes, Bucky, I'll call you." Leaning over the center console she hugged him tight whispering into his neck. "Thank you for being the friend I need right now."

Hugging her back he kissed the side of her head wishing that was actually true. If he was being honest with himself he was being selfish by letting her unknowingly use him so that he could get as much time with her as he could. He wasn't going to pursue her even if he might be falling in love with her. Buck knew he wasn't who she wanted and he had too many of his own issues to be good enough for her right now. "Of course, doll. Whatever you need. I'll be at the Tower, but will keep my phone on me so whenever you're ready, call me and meet me at that coffee shop on the corner." He unknowingly pointed to the one her and Thomas would frequent when they were together.

Reassuring him she'd call and not sneak home in a cab she grabbed her purse and left the car. Only when he pulled away did she shoot Thomas a text to let him know she was here and on her way up. God she was so freaking nervous she felt like she was going to puke. Never had she ever broken up with him knowing that this was it before. Any time they'd taken a break or gone their separate ways it had never felt like the end, not really. But now? Today? This felt like the end. It had to be for his sake. He deserved so much better than her even if he didn't think so, Jamie did.

The short ride up in the elevator seemed like it both took an eternity and no time at all before it let her out onto his floor. Fuck. Her palms were sweating so bad right now. Taking out the keys to his apartment that she'd already taken off her key ring she unlocked his door for the last time and called out. "Tom, it's me."