QUARANTINE LOVE STORY

7. the first of many, many more

CAITLIN

If awkwardness was two people, it definitely would be Lia and I the day after our little episode at the park. 

Indeed, we got home in total silence, and each went to our rooms then. I could feel Lia shutting down, probably still traumatized by her breakup with her police ex-girlfriend - or maybe not over her? - or by relationships as a whole. I mean, I am not saying that I want to get into a relationship with Lia, but hanging out with her and getting to know her has been wonderful so far, and now I was afraid I had ruined it. 

This morning, she did not get out of her room for our usual study session, neither did she for our workout session, letting me do some abs and arms outside on my own. After my shower, however, when I get out of the bathroom, I realize her bedroom's door is open, but there is no sign of her. Getting dressed and cleaned up, I direct myself toward the kitchen, and realize Lia is sitting right outside, enjoying the sun. 

When she hears the door opening, she doesn't turn around, but I can sense her tensing up immediately. I carefully and slowly sit down next to her on another chair, remaining silent, before the words that have been burning my throat for a few hours just come out at last:

"I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday. I'd understand if you want me to move back to my place - just say the words."

Lia finally throws me a look, as she naturally says:

"No, don't."

Surprised, I just nod my head, looking away from her: I couldn't sustain her piercing green eyes.

In truth, I did not regret kissing her yesterday: I was caught up in the moment, and just... felt it. You know, that feeling people are craving for their whole life without ever finding it? Well, I think I felt just that. Conscious of the small notice between our meeting and the growth of my feelings for her, I just also could not fight it.

After a while, Lia speaks up in a low voice:

"I-I'm sorry if I sent you mixed signals, I'm just not ready... you know..."

I nod my head again.

"I get it, don't worry" I say, honest, "I am fine with us being friends."

"I-I... I don't know if..." Lia starts, hesitant, before abruptly stopping and instead saying: "Never mind."

"No, speak up your mind, please" I insist, setting my jaw. 

While Lia turns her face toward mine and our eyes meet, she takes her time, as well as a deep breath, before she declares:

"Don't get me wrong, I am attracted to you, it's just... complicated."

Cracking a smile because she said I was attractive, I just respond:

"I get it, don't worry."

Surprised by my calmness and my surrender, Lia just nods her head, as we fall into silence again - not a silence as comfortable as the past few days, but less awkward than this morning. I eventually fall asleep on the chair, and when I wake up, Lia is gone.

Sighing, I roll my eyes at myself: have I ruined whatever there is between us?

***

LIA

My throat is sore, as I start walking in circles in my room... again.

I certainly did not expert to be as shaken up by Caitlin kissing me - well, of course I was aware that I initiated it when I leaned in and stopped. Butterflies have been flying around my stomach ever since, as I barely slept that night: I couldn't stop thinking about her, the smell of her hair, the softness of her skin, her beautiful, beautiful eyes... I mean, how was it even possible? Are feelings always supposed to hit you that hard ? What does it even mean, to be hit that hard, uh?

After a while, I just hear that voice inside my head say: fuck it.

When I open my bedroom's door, I immediately know that Caitlin is in the living room, given the sound coming out of her computer. Taking a deep breath, I burst into the room under her surprised eyes. I then walk toward her and, once I am a few centimeters away from her, I just grab her computer and puts it away from her, before literally sitting on her lap, as she stares at me, confused and extremely surprised.

She doesn't push me away, tho.

"L-Lia..." Caitlin starts, trying not to put her hands on me. 

But I just close my eyes and lean into her lips, kissing them softly. 

While I wrap my arms around her neck, Caitlin just reacts by kissing me back immediately, her tongue asking for permission. When I grant it, I let a small moan out as she grabs the back of my hips, bringing me closer to her. 

As the heat is coming up as I kiss her neck, Caitlin softly pushes me away, without letting me get off her lap still. 

Her bright blue eyes are staring at me with a desiring light inside of them, as she whispers:

"W-wow, I-I... I mean, not that I am complaining but... what happened to being friends?"

"You and I both know we won't be able to stay away from each other much longer... right?"

Caitlin smirks at my boldness, before she whispers, staring right into my eyes:

"Right."

She then pulls me in for a kiss, as our tongues start dancing together.

After a while, Caitlin's hand just slips under my t-shirt, grabbing my breast with passion and confidence, as I moan, surprised. The warmth of her breath against my skin, and of her body against mine just makes me feel dizzy. I remove my t-shirt first, before she does the same, as I am lying down on top of her on the couch. Her hand smoothly reaches for the inside of my legs, touching it slowly and softly at first, as I long for her to make bigger gestures.

It only takes a few minutes for me to be naked on top of her also-naked body, as we both moan in sync when we touch each other. I feel the excitement grow inside of my chest and lower stomach, as our breaths get more and more erratic. At some point, Caitlin just sits down, as we are in front of each other, all sweaty and our breaths being erratic. We finish around the same time, before catching our breaths, looking at each other.

When Caitlin lies back on the couch, she pulls me toward her, as I lie down on top of her, surrounded by her arms. We take a few minutes of silence to catch our breaths properly, before she starts laughing. I look up at her, confused, as she explains:

"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, it's just... damn, you just gave me the best sex I've ever had..."

Without really knowing why, we both burst into laughter, not willing to stop anytime soon because of the fuzzy feeling that was taking both our chests.

After a while, I just bury my face onto her neck, before I whisper:

"... maybe we should talk..."

"Another time" Caitlin whispers, kissing the top of my head, "for now, let's just enjoy the moment."

I nod, before giving into her embrace.

Somehow, I knew today wasn't meaningless: it was the first time in many that we'd kiss each other, have sex and then just laugh about it... I just had no idea how important she was going to become in my life...

... but I knew what I felt was genuine.