🐾✨ Cookie Run Oneshots✨🐾

✨Help me✨ (Pure Vanilla X (Dark Enchantress?)

Yayyy more stories after so long
(These r more older requests in my drafts that I somehow ended up finishing but never publishing so yea)

Somewhere in the Vanilla Kingdom, Pure Vanilla was just wandering around the white lily garden, watering and caring for the plants.

Suddenly, a large claw-like hand implanted into ground, rising up towards the man.

"Boy, what the fuck–" Pure Vanilla muttered.

The claw then released somebody; that somebody being Dark Enchantress.

"Ahaha~ Well, well well..We meet again, Mr. Vanilla..~"

"Wha–What are you doing here–!? I thought you were done taking over here.."

"Well..I am..But I thought I would've stopped by to see how my favorite person is doing~!"

"How am I–Look–Whatever you're pulling off..It isn't going to work.."

"Oh c'mon...I've changed for the better..trust your gut for a moment, will you..?"

"Hmph.." Vanilla turned his back, clutching onto the watering can.
"How about no."
He walked away, leaving Enchantress in the garden alone.

"Damnit..That boy needs to be mine soon.."

Timeskip number 1🥵🥵🥵😻

A few hours later, Vanilla was casually reading in the library, when White Lily appeared, on the other side of the aisle.

"Hello, Pure Vanilla! I'm glad to see you here.." She ran up to him.

"Oh..Hello Lily! It's been a while since we've talked. I can't even remember the last time I've seen your...wait.."

The joyful expression on Vanilla's face then turned into anger.

"Dark Enchantress, I know it's just you.."

"Fuck–!"
The illusion of Lily quickly switched back into Enchantress, groaning with frustration.

Pure Vanilla didn't even hesitate to leave Enchantress alone once again, mumbling under his breath.

"White lily is dead anyways.."

"What–!? I AM White lily!!"

"Wha...Then how did you–"

"Fuck off."

Dark Enchantress then vanished through a portal.

Timeskip number 2 😦😦🤯🤯🤤

It was now late evening when Vanilla was heading to bed. While wandering through the halls looking for the bedroom, he noticed small, magenta petals leading towards a closed room. Vanilla hesitated, but then thought about Enchantress's schemes, and this could've been another one.

He walked past the petals and approached a different room, this room he knew a lot better. Opening it, Vanilla immediately caught the scent of raspberry candles, burning off from the distance.

"Why..Hello, pretty boy~!"

An unsurprisingly familiar voice came to Vanilla, making him pissed. But as soon as he turned his back to leave the room, the door was already locked in front of him.

"Aww..Wanna get out sweetie?"

"W-Where are you!? Where am I??!"

"Ooh..I should've lit some more of these.."

Enchantress lit up some more candles, making it clearer to see in the pitch black room. It not only revealed herself to Vanilla but it also revealed her naked body, which didn't look that bad. She had the same body type as White lily, (Ofc since they're the same person) Skinny with a thick-ish waist. Sort of flat bobs. Okay I'ma stop talking now.

"So...ready to open up to me~?" Enchantress made up one of her sinister grins, followed by laughter.

"L-Look–I didn't expect it to go like this...umm..I'll give you what you want–strength, domination, wealth??? It's all yours! Just take it and get me outta here!!"

"Ah-ah...you ain't getting away that easily, pretty boy~!"

"Wha–What do you want from me then!? Do you want my dick!? Is that what you want!!?"

"Well..uh..mildly..yes..."

(Awkward silence)

"Ok fuck it...I thought about this idea when I realized all of my captive minions are his stupid bastards!! Licorice is dating a gay femboy menace, Red Velvet is fucking a nun he captured, and Pomegranate...Oh pomegranate...pomegranate can think about me all day if she wanted to but she's got somebody else in mind!! Don't forget dark cacao's son! Yes, I remember him too...I forgot whatever happened to that little boy, one day he just said 'fuck it!' And left!! All of the kids are stupid and there almost nobody else I can manipulate!! That's why I chose you! I can easily make a fool of you and seduce the ever living shit out of you, giving me more power to dominate this pathetic world once and for all. But of course you had to blow every single thing I could every imagine–And I thought you were dumb, I thought you had dumb bitch energy!!? But NOOOO!!!! FUCK THAT! FUCK THAT OUT THE WINDOW! YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK THIS! FUCK YOU!! FUCK THIS EARTH! I'M GONNA FUCK THE MOOON!!! YOU HEAR THAT!? I'LL FUCKING THE MOON AND MAKE IT RAIN HELL FIRE UPON YOUR ASS!!"

(Awkward silence 2)

"You know...Y-You could've just asked the millennial tree..I'm sure he wouldn't have mind.."

"...What the fuck."

"Yes."

"You know what...you wanna just have sex and forget this ever fucking happened?"

"Yes."

Then they had sex and I'm too lazy to script the sex bc it's 11:30 at night so yea. Fuck you.

"D-Damn..you were slow at this, first time or are you just naturally this bad..?"

"I dunno, probably just don't have it in me.."

"Uggh..Well fuck it, here, 10,000 gems, go ham with this bullshit..."

Enchantress then grabbed her clothes and opened a portal into what is probably hell. The last thing Pure Vanilla saw was Enchantress flicking him off while smirking deviously.

"Shit, man...I like White lily better."

Meanwhile with DE lol

"Sooo...are you in..?"

"Well...sure..but only on one condition..."

"What?! What is it!?"

"These lovely boys wanna come over and say for a chance! They seem to..know you very well...Do you talking to them for me?" Millennial Tree smiled innocently,

"Oh..umm sure.. I guess.."

Suddenly Licorice and Clover walked into the scene, noticing DE in their way.

"Oh..hello Miss Enchantress! Please excuse me, Licorice seems to know you..?"

"H-Heh Heh...Um...just so you know I kinda need 20 dollars-"

"Fuck you all."

Ok ok ok I hope you liked this one all funny and stuff. Idk I was very tired and I apologize if it seemed rushed at all lol