Be My Forever

xv | Charlotte lives vicariously through me.

Two weeks before the dance, I ask Charlotte for a favor.

Friday night I come down to the kitchen where she's cooking dinner, humming to herself as she stirs Mac and cheese. I sit at the counter, for some reason feeling extremely nervous.

"Umm, Charlotte?" She turns, a little startled by me.

"Oh, hi! Did you need something?"

I lick my lips, "Well, I was wondering... could we maybe go shopping this weekend? I need a dress for Homecoming."

Her entire face lights up, "You're going to Homecoming? Oh, that's wonderful! Do you have a date?"

I nod shyly, "Yeah, kinda surprising."

Charlotte's smile could outshine the brightest light, "I'm so happy for you! Of course, we have to go shopping to get you the perfect dress! We can go tomorrow."

I can't help but smile back at her, her smile is way too infectious.

I've never been dress shopping. Heck, I've never been to any dance, so it's all a new experience for me.

Saturday morning, we're up and headed to the mall together.

"You know, Warren told me last night that he isn't going to homecoming." Charlotte tells me with a sigh, "It's so unlike him. He's gone to every Homecoming and formal and Junior Prom. He said he just didn't want to this year."

I'm pretty surprised to hear this. Even if he wasn't going with Phoebe, I would've expected him to still go with his friends or something. If he's on the court, he'll have to go, it's a requirement.

At the mall, Charlotte takes me in into one of the formal dress shops. I immediately know that every dress is very expensive. But I fall into a sort of trance the minute I walk in because all of the dresses are beautiful and exquisite. They have every style, color, make, length imaginable.

"I've always wanted to take my daughter shopping here." Charlotte says, "But of course, I was blessed with two boys. Now I can take you shopping, Cassie. What style do you like? Homecoming is short styles, right?"

I nod, fingering a black satin dress on the beginning of a rack, "Yeah, I think so."

"And you're a size... 16, right?" I'm surprised she remembers from when we went shopping a few weeks ago.

We wander around the store, looking for racks with my size. In this kind of store, I'm considered plus size so I gravitate towards the back section.

And I find all sorts of dresses in every color and all kinds of fabrics. I finger satin and tulle and suede and velvet. Charlotte immediately begins to pull dresses in my size, throwing them over her shoulder as she tells me to pick some I like and I can try on all of them.

After pulling a few dresses that caught my eye from the racks, Charlotte and I go into the dressing room. It obvious as I hang each dress up which ones Charlotte picked. She gravitates towards the form fitting dresses, the ones that hug every curve and shows pretty much everything.

I pick a dress at random. The one I grab is a short, tight dress with thin straps and a rounded neckline. It's a beautiful teal green, the satin underneath overlayed with sparkly tulle.

It takes me a moment to pull it on, struggling a bit to get it up over my hips. It's very snug, not exactly too tight, but leaves no room for imagination.

When I come out, Charlotte claps her hands, "Ooh, Cassie, that one is sexy."

I blush bright red and turn to look in the full length mirror. It's a beautiful dress. But it isn't for me.

I try on a few more, slowly sorting through my likes and dislikes. I come out in a black dress with little gemstones dotted throughout the fabric to give the illusion of stars and Charlotte is talking on the phone.

She gives me a smile and thumb's up to tell me she likes the dress, while talking adamantly. I study my reflection. The dress I'm currently wearing, a royal blue number, is nice but it's not the right one.

Back in the stall, I randomly pick another dress. As I pull it out from underneath a few other dresses, I can already tell that I like the dress.

The color is a beautiful burgundy color, one of my favorites, and it has a full tulle skirt. The top of the dress is what I like the most, the entire bodice covered in delicate little flowers that stretch down in points along the tulle. The back of the dress is open, with the shoulder straps crisscrossing down the back.

I pull it on excitedly, feeling a little weird that I have to take my bra off, but the dress fits beautifully. I pull the strings tight, then tie them.

When I open the door to the stall, Charlotte's face says it all. She gasps when I step out.

"Oh Cassie." She murmurs and I'm a little startled to see tears brimming in her eyes.

"O-oh, is it that bad?" I ask, turning as I bit my lip to look at my reflection.

"No, no, Cas, I'm sorry." Charlotte says quickly, "It's a beautiful dress, it's perfect. I've just always wanted to do this with my own daughter, so it makes me so happy to see you finding your perfect dress, honey."

I smile shyly at our reflections, "Well, I'm glad you got to be here with me. Mom... Mom would've loved this. And the dress."

Charlotte nods, still looking dangerously close to tears. I really hope she doesn't start fully crying because I know I'll start crying myself.

After we get the dress, with Charlotte and I arguing for a long time about who will buy, she takes me to get shoes as well. We go back and forth for a while on heels, but in the end, Charlotte wins out against me.

She picks out a pair of chunky heels, not crazy tall, studded with silver beads to give it a twinkling effect. They look good with the dress.

Now I just have to make it through the dance.