LDA #1:When The Heart Stops Beating(Completed√)

EPILOGUE

Epilogue

[Play Huling Sandali by _____ while reading Epilogue]

Joaquin‘s POV

GOODBYE.

ADIOS.

SAYONARA.

HANGGANG SA MULI.

Even if you say it in different languages, it still hurt. It still has the same impact, the same pain. Goobyes—that‘s the most painful word you‘ll ever say to someone and even the painful and heartbreaking word you‘ll ever hear. It‘s hard to say goodbye, it‘s hard to directly uttered those word, especially when you have to say it to the person you loved. Saying goodbye is not easy, it takes courage and acceptance for you to be able to say it. Saying goobye is painful and yet, we need to say it in order for us to be free. Free from the pain. And free from the sad reality of life. 

Some goodbyes are meant to be for a lifetime. But some are not. May mga bagay kasing kapag nawala na, kapag natapos na, alam mong hindi na iyon kailanman babalik pa. Kahit na anong pilit mong gawin, wala ka ng magagawa pa kung hindi tanggapin ang katotohanang natapos na iyon at hindi na babalik pa ang dati.

Kung tayo lang sana ang may hawak ng sariling mga kapalaran natin, then goobye‘s should be an option for us.

However, that wouldn‘t be possible.

That‘s not how it works.

Life is a cycle of choice, acceptance and goobyes. That’s the reality that we tend not to believe and accept. That’s the reality of life, that most of us used to and choose to get neglected. But. . .we must learn to concede that reality of life.

Hindi ganun kadali ang magpaalam, hindi ganun kabilis sabihin ang salitang paalam lalo na kung sa mismong taong mahal mo ito sasabihin. Ang sakit lang kasi. . .akala ko magsasama pa kami ng matagal ni Yana. Akala ko magkasama pa kaming bubuo ng panibagong mundo namin. Iyong mundo kung saan, kami lang, walang mga taong pinipigilan kami sa mga nararamdaman namin, walang taong pinipilit kami sa mga bagay na ayaw naming gawin. Akala ko. . .kami pa rin. Na kasama ko pa rin siya pero ganun talaga, kapag matatapos ang isang bagay, wala ka ng magagawa pa kun‘di ang harapin ang katotohanang iyon. At iyon ang katotohanang pilit kong ibinabaon sa limot. Ang katotohanang gusto ko mang takasan at huwag paniwalaan ay kinakailangan ko ng limutin kahit na mahirap at masakit. I never thought that this day would come, ang sabihin ko ang salitang paalam sa babaeng mahal ko.

It has been two days since Yana passed away, kahapon lang hinatid na namin siya sa kaniyang huling hantungan and it was very hard for me. Ang hirap makitang unti-unting bumaba ang kabaong ni Yana habang tinatabunan na ito ng lupa. Napuno ng haguhol at iyakan ang sementeryo ng mga araw na iyon. Akala ko malakas ako, akala ko kaya ko pero hindi pala. . .umiyak ako. Normal lang naman iyon hindi ba? Normal lang na umiyak ako.

FLASHBACK

Joaquin‘s POV

THE sun was brightly shining, everyone was ready. Nakahanda na ang lahat para ihatid si Yana sa kaniyang huling hantungan. Rinig ko ang malakas na iyak ng mommy at ate ni Yana. Everyone was crying—except me who‘s pretending to be okay, keeping myself not to cry but the truth is I am really not okay. I‘m trying to be. . .okay!

Abby was beside me, leaning on me while crying. I can feel her sadness. Well, everyone was sad. I am sad but still, I keep myself compose and calm as I can be.

Ilang saglit lang, nagsimula na kaming maglakad patungo sa sementeryo. As we were slowly walking, I can clearly hear Abby‘s sob. Sabayan pa ng kantang “Kabilang Buhay,” na mas lalong nagpalungkot sa aming lahat.