Love Sucks, But Not Always

Chapter Six

Do I like him already? Normal pa ba iyong bumibilis na lang bigla 'yong tibok ng puso mo kapag kausap mo ang isang tao? O baka dahil sa sinasabi niya lang kaya ganoon?

"Hoy, ano 'yang iniisip mo ha? Si Nigel ba?" tinaas-baba ni Marcus ang dalawang kilay niya. Halatang nang-aasar.

"Nagkagusto ka na ba sa isang tao, Marcus?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Oo naman! Tao rin ako 'no!" sagot naman niya.

Ngumiwi ako. "Hindi halata." sabi ko sa kanya.

Umarte naman siyang parang nasaktan sa sinabi ko. "Grabe ka sa akin ah!" pagpepeke pa niya ng iyak. Ang arte talaga ng isang 'to.

"Pero seryosong usapan, Jairee. May gusto ka na ba? I mean, hindi na ako magtataka kung si Nigel iyon."

"Bakit ba iniisip mong gusto ko si Nigel?" inis kong tanong sa kanya. Pwede namang may iba akong taong nagugustuhan ah? Pero bakit si Nigel pa 'yong una niyang naisip?

"They say you look the happiest when you're with the person you like."

"Do I look like I'm the happiest when I'm with him?" kunot-noo kong tanong kay Marcus.

"I don't know. Do you?" pagbalik niya ng tanong sa akin.

"It's too early for that, Marcus. Hindi ko pa siya ganoon kakilala." sabi ko naman.

"Doon na ba nababase kung masaya o sasaya ka sa isang tao? Sa kung gaano mo na siya katagal kakilala?" tanong ni Marcus.

"Oo! Kasi kung hindi mo siya kinilala pa ng mas matagal, tapos naging kayo, paano kung magbago tapos saktan ka niya? Paano kung ma-bored na siya sayo tapos maghanap siya ng iba?"

"May ex-boyfriend ka ba?"

"Meron!"

"Gaano katagal kayong magkakilala bago naging kayo?"

"I've known him for a year and three months bago naging kami." sagot ko.

"Sumaya ka ba sa kanya? Hindi ka ba niya sinaktan? Matagal mo na siyang kilala no'n ah."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. May point naman si Marcus.

"See? Kahit na gaano mo pa katagal kakilala ang isang tao, sasaktan at sasaktan ka niyan kung mayroon talaga siyang intensyon na saktan ka. Okay, sabihin na nating hindi niya intensyon na saktan ka pero sinaktan ka pa rin niya."

"Ang talino mo sa part na 'yon. Sa part na 'yon lang ha." irap ko kay Marcus.

Sinimangutan naman niya ako. "Matalino ako in all aspects!"

I let out a sigh and gazed out the window. I'm not sure if I'm afraid of the fact that I'm starting to like him or that I already do, but I deny it because I know it will only hurt me in the end. I think Nigel's a good guy, but the fact that he and Scarlet were together for four years and he just suddenly broke up with her because he thought that some things are just not meant to be? What if he does that again? With me?

I don't want to waste my time knowing that he might suddenly break up with me because he thinks that what we have isn't just meant to be or because he thinks it's boring.

"There are things that are worth the risk, Jairee. You just have to try and hope for the best." Marcus tapped my back.

"What if it isn't? What if I thought it was but then changed my mind later on? Or what if I realized that it's not worth the risk a little late?" I asked Marcus. He looked at me and remained quiet, thinking of what to answer.

"In this life, you don't lose, Jairee. It's either you win, or you learn."

I stared at Marcus before nodding. "I'll trust your words this time, but if it goes wrong, I'll strangle you to death," I warned him.