Path to Paradise|NAYEON+2yeon|ENG

08: Last letter

Nayeon's pov

I have been here in Kyoto for a week now and have already met eight great people. Dahyun and Chaeyoung are Korean and are already teaching me the southern language. If I had to describe them, I'd say Momo is pretty much the same as Sana, so I get along well with her. Dahyun is really weird and nice. Mina is always nice and helpful, just like Chae, who is lovely.

"Everyone shut up, my favorite k-drama episode is about to start!" Dahyun screamed as she fell on the sofa.

Dahyun was connected to Korean television in some way.

"But it starts in half an hour! Now there is only advertising!" Momo complained.

"Shhh" Dahyun said looking at the screen.

I liked what Dahyun saw, so I always stayed with her to watch television.

"...with heavy rainfall on Seoul. North Korea: a fellow citizen of ours loses his life. It happened yesterday that Kim Kyungwan, twenty-six, was killed for having been identified as a spy"

"Kyungwan..." Dahyun said without words.

"Kyungwan! No!" Momo yelled desperately and began to cry.

"Kyungwan, my Kyungwan..." I said starting to sob.

It is not possible. Why should he be dead? He had promised his friends that he would not let himself be discovered. He can't be dead.

I got up from the sofa and ran to my room, slamming the door. I got on the bed and started crying. I wanted to see him one last time. Those bastards killed him.

I spent hours on my bed and cried until my eyes went dry. I got up without strength and went to the drawer. I promised that this would be my last letter.

"Hi Kyungwan. Do you miss me? Have you ever missed me? I have asked myself this a thousand times and unfortunately you will never be able to answer me. How cruel life is. I did not expect to be able to have so much happiness. It was obvious that I had to sacrifice something. But why your life? What do you have to do with my life? The fact that you were everything to me does not mean that they had to take you out of this world. But maybe it is better to be in Heaven than in that country. I have always thought so. Although I would have liked that country if I had been with you. Even if for a few seconds. I wish you were here reading my letters. Why did you decide to save me and not you? You could have thought of yourself and stayed in South Korea. Why try the impossible? I remember perfectly the emotions I felt when that soldier knocked me off the net. I felt defeated and helpless. The other two soldiers arrived and they decided to have fun before killing me. As if to kill me wasn't enough already as an amusement for them. You came so stern and took me hard. I was convinced you wanted to rape me. Is it so wrong if I would rather be killed by you than to live in a world you are not in? You told me to run away. I got on that boat full of emotions and in that moment I knew that I would miss you. How was it possible that I had fallen in love with a man I had seen for a few minutes? So I started writing you a letter every day. Until today. I have kept this secret for a long time. You say Tzuyu realized this? Sana maybe realized it and she didn't tell me so as not to make me feel embarrassed? I promise this will be the last letter I will write to you. I promised to come to South Korea just for you. I promise not to love anyone because nobody deserves love the way you deserve it. I love you, sergeant. I love you because you decided to save me, not because I had a beautiful face or a beautiful body, simply because I was a human being. I love you because you decided to come to that country to help others, and for this you died. I love you because you have always been in my head, despite being in that prison. I used to have the hope of seeing you. Now even hope has left me. I feel as weak as the time I burned my hands on the net and then the soldier pushed me to the ground. Like when he dictated my fate, telling me that he would rape me and then kill me. No more. Maybe it would have been better if they had killed me. What's the point of being alive if I'm dead inside? I miss you, Sergeant Kim. Tell me, what is Heaven like? I have always thought that Heaven was South Korea, the land of freedom. That land behind that net. So close but so far. When I met you, I realized that you were Heaven. You are my paradise. So I assure you that Heaven is a beautiful place. I'll join you soon. I will stay alive only because at least your death, due to trying to help at least one person, will have made sense. Sooner or later we all have to die. Wait for me."