Walk a Mile

BOOM! There was an explosion. BOOM! Scratch that there were two explosions.

Morning
"You saw another memory, didn't you?" Tony had approached Loki as soon as he walked into the kitchen. Surprised by the sudden confrontation Loki recoiled.
"Good lord." A hand flew to his chest as he caught his breath. "Anthony. What are you talking about?"
"You came and got me out of the lab last night. How else could you have known?" 
Loki rolled his eyes. "Of course I did. And thank Norns I did." Loki moved to make a bowl of cereal but continued to talk. "Anthony, you are not in your body. I won't allow my body to end up like..." Tony's eyes darkened as the words died on Loki's lips. His face became a darker shade of blue.
"Go and say it. Like shit? Was that it? You don't want your body to end up like shit."
"That wasn't what I was gonna say." Loki looked to the side at his friends. Pleading with eyes that they help. Even looking to his brother for some kind of help or distraction. 'Where was that annoyance of a captain when you needed him.'
Tony took a few deep breaths when he caught the looks of the others. "What were you going to say then?"
"Like a sleep deprived, malnourished wreck again. I'm keeping you healthy. Can you not do the same for me? Ugh. I'm hungry and tired. Can we talk after breakfast?" At Tony's nod Loki smiled a little and sat down. 
__________
Tony plopped down into a lab chair. Loki stood awkwardly in front of him. "Picking up where we left off. Can you keep my body healthy? I have a lot of problems keeping it in shape myself."
"I can. I have. You don't see the bags under your eyes anymore do you?" Tony got up from his seat and stood to look him in the eyes. He had to bend down a little bit. He hated admitting it but he was rather short.
"You're too close." Smiling nervously Tony went back to his seat.
"I think the last time I looked that healthy I was in college."  
Loki's face scrunched up in disgust. "Was that before or after the drugs?" Sarcasm.
"I think this was before. Safe to assume that some memories can be quick flashes while others can be longer."
A slight blush graced Loki's face. "Sorry. That was rude of me. Strange and I are working on fixing things." To this Tony only shrugged and continued on with their conversation. That was flowing rather well, all things considered.
"You mentioned that you had once been in my same state. Care to elaborate?"
"Not really. I feel it is better if you just watch the memories of it. Then I don't have to look at your reactions."
"That's... fair." He sighed. He racked his brain for a subject change"What will I have to do to keep your body healthy and in shape?"
"Nothing much. As you can clearly tell, I'm lean but muscular."
"So like push ups and stuff?"
Loki scoffed. "Sparing, running, weight lifting. But yes push ups and stuff as you so gracefully put it."
This time Tony scoffed. Loki chuckled. "Can you fight Anthony?"
"Well enough to hold my own in a fight against super soldiers."
Loki nodded. "Good. I can teach you how to fight better. Also give your body some more muscle." A twinkle passed over Lokis eyes. "Maybe you'll get taller. Seriously, did you not drink milk growing up?" The look on Tonys face made him laugh. Though on further inspection it made Loki want to glamour his body. The deep blue blush was embarrassing.
"Shut it you arse." It was not said to be funny. But that didnt stop Loki from laughing harder. Tony huffed. "When do we start this dumbass training?"l
"Today." Loki composed himself with quickness. So much so that Tony felt he got whiplash with how fast the change was. "Come." He got up and headed down to the training room. NOt even checking to see if Anthony was following.
Upon entering the training room they saw Deadpool and Spider-Man. Tony nudged Loki. And stared at him hard. Loki sighed heavily but gave in.
'This was supposed to be a training session. Now I'm delivering more bad news.' He thought frustratedly.
"DP could we talk?"
"Sorry bud. I'm a little... tied up at the moment."
Loki forced out a laugh. "Yeah. It's important." At the look of surprise from his teammates they scrambled to his side.
"What's up Lokes?"
Loki took a deep breath. "Anthony came across some new information yesterday. It's about your immortality. You don't have it. Currently. It is because only your mind and subconscious were transferred to Spider-man's body. Your powers are hooked to your body, like Banner." He paused before continuing. "If you were to try and take on a job in Spider-Man's body you would be dead. And Spidey wouldn't have a body to return to."
Spider-Man looked at his partner. His mind reeled with possibilities. Worries more like it. Every bad thought came to mind. 'What if DP doesn't care? What if he puts up a fight?'
All of Spider-Man's worries were squashed when Deadpool shrugged and sat on the floor crossed legged. "Then I guess I'm going to stay broke for a little while longer. Can't risk baby boys life." Admittedly none of them saw that coming but weren't going to question it.
"Will you continue to train with me?"
"Of course. I cant leave you hanging Webs. Besides, I gotta stay sharp."
With that settled Tony and Loki walked off to another corner of the room. 'I'm about to put this man through hell.' Loki thought evilly.
____________
'Hulk hungry.'
'Shut up. I'm tired.'
'Hulk is hungry!' Bruce groaned angrily. He rolled off the bed and landed with a thud on the hard floor. And shakily got up. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he walked out the door.
'What would you like to eat then?' 
'Pancakes!' Came the enthusiastic reply. Bruce didnt really blame the big guy. Pancakes were delicious and one of the few things they agreed on. Upon entering the kitchen he instantly locked eyes with Thor.
"Were... you up late?"
"Yep,"The god was looking much better than yesterday. Though the bags under his eyes were deep and gave away his exhaustion.  "From the looks of it, so were you."
Bruce scanned the kitchen for pancakes but didnt see any. No sign on the fridge either. Thor followed the line of sight before speaking. "Steve was tired. He made cereal."
Hulk groaned. Sad and angry. More so angry. 'Calm down Hulk. It's not the end of the world.'
A low growl is what he received. 'Make pancakes.'
'In this body?' Bruce laughed dryly.  Thor looked curiously up at him.
"Hulk still speaks to you, doesn't he?" At Bruce's hard stare, Thor visibly cowered. Rarely did his face ever look so annoyed and pissed.
"Yes.... can you make pancakes?
"I.. No. I can not." Bruce groaned.
"I can teach you. Please." Thor was astounded. His face, his body had never looked so tired than now. Even after hours of battle Thor wouldn't have looked so exhausted.
"What do I need?"
'Yes!' Hulk celebrated.
_________
BOOM!
There was an explosion.
BOOM!
Scratch that there were two explosions. Steve Rogers hurriedly ran down the twisting halls before coming to a stop in front of the doors or rather door frame. The door was knocked off its hinges and all the windows had broken. Tony's lab was a complete mess.
In the middle of the room stood Loki and Tony. The god looked as smug as ever.
"Yall good up in there?" Steve turned his head to look at the falcon. He was suited up and ready for a fight.
"Oh yeah. Just fine. Anthony here just doesn't listen." Loki lifted his hand and slapped Tony upside the head. "Yall can go. We're fine." They nodded then headed in the opposite direction to see what the second explosion was. In the kitchen Thor and Bruce were covered in flour, eggs, something brown and soot. Natasha and James stood in one corner shaking their heads in disappointment. 
"And what the hell happened here?"
"I was teaching Thor how to make pancakes."
"And why were you trying to teach him, of all people, how to cook?"
He shrugged. "Hulk is hungry." Steve sighed heavily. As much as he was upset there was a mess he smiled weakly up at the man.
"Help clean up, both of you, and I'll cook." Steve quickly asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to bring out the bots. The miniature bots were quick to work. It was easy to tell Hulk was celebrating by the hand Bruce put on the counter to steady himself.
_________
"J.A.R.V.I.S can you ask Spider-Man and Deadpool to come here."
"What for? Those idiots won't be much help."
"Aren't they your friends?"
Loki rubbed his neck awkwardly. "Not really."
"Well that hurts. My heart just might burst from the heartbreak. How cruel can you be, Loki?"
"Very." Came the curt reply. The dramatic entrance was both startling and amusing. Spider-Man pushed the other man aside.
"What did you need?" The other two geniuses raised an eyebrow each. Was the room not an answer itself? Deadpool looked around at the state of things and promptly smacked the arachnid. "Well there's no way they called us in here for this?" He said, gesturing to the mess.
"Well that and one other thing. If you don't help us neither of us will be doin' any favors for either of you."  Deadpool shrugged and began walking out the door. Only to be yanked back by the collar of the suit.
"You do realize we rely on them HEAVILY, right? Come on, we've got work to do." Deadpool slumped but understood what he had to do. He puffed up his chest and rolled up his fake sleeves and set to work.
________
Three hours Later
"Fuckin' finally."
"That took forever."
"The next time yall blow something up I'm not helping. Fuck the favors." Deadpool fell over breathing heavily. Spider-Man nodded by his side.
"On a side note, what are we eating for dinner? It's almost 18:00."
"KAF-"
"Tony Stark, you are not picking dinner."
"Hold on Spiderling, I'd like to know what it is? Anything is better than Mexican food."
Under the mask Wade was staring daggers at the god. "Says the one who always wants Carne Asadas."
He pointed a finger at the merc. "Don't bring tacos into this." He turned back to Tony. "Please continue with what you were saying."
Tony smiled. Or was it more of a beam? "Kafta is a levantine dish that's made with ground beef or lamb, minced onions, chopped parsley, and seasoned with all kinds of spices. Typically made into patties or kabobs."
"I'd like to try this Kafta. Is there a place nearby?"
"Around the block."
On the floor Deadpool and Spider-Man perked up. "Kafta is fine with me. Haven't had it in a while."
"Me neither DP. We're eating good tonight."
"Not yall. Yall want to be mean yall can stay."
"But we helped clean up yalls mess."
"Good point. Fine but we gotta go fast. The others can't know."
"Rule breaking. My favorite pastime." Deadpool jumped to his feet and raced to the door.
"We're also sneaking so shush." Tony urged. It was obvious none of them wanted to stay in the compound any longer. They wanted to go out just for a little bit.
"Wait, what about me?! I can't go out like this. They'll all recognize me." The other hero and Anti heroes rolled their eyes. Loki waved his hand in front of his face and slowly the blue skin disappeared.
"Now let's go."
________
"Let me get this straight, you can shape shift."
"Pretty much. It sounds fun but it's really not." Loki swerved onto the next street with ease. 
"Why a horse? That's random." In the back of the Ferrari, Deadpool and Spider-Man stiffened. They know abbreviated versions of Loki's time in Asgard. Few and far between were the good memories.
Loki gathered himself quickly. "If the memory shows itself all will be answered."
"Okay. Whatever the hell that means." A sigh of relief came from the other three.
Loki parked the car and they all got out. They all seemed to perk up being farther than 10 feet of the compound.
"Are you sure no one will recognize you?" Tony was beyond nervous.
"Are you sure no one will notice you?"
"I come here often. Practically a regular. You on the other hand are wanted by the world."
"Not my fault." Came the mumbled reply. As soon as the bell above the door rang heads turned their way. Eyes stared daggers at them. Mainly in curiosity. The employees were quick to decide who got to serve the group.
"Mr. Stark, what can we get for you today?" When Tony opened his mouth to speak he was tugged slightly by Spider-Man in Deadpool clothing. Deadpool pushed the mortal god to the front.
"Oh yeah, ten to go orders of steak and beef Kafta." He received a thumbs up from his friends.
"Anything else?"
"No, that's all."
"That'll be $79.09" All of their eyes turned to the actual Tony Stark. Said man rolled his eyes but pulled out his card anyway and handed it to Loki. The man smirked and swiped the visa.
He was sure he could feel the amount of money on the card in his hands. "Your order will be out soon."
The employee turned around and disappeared into what Loki assumed was the kitchen. He looked around a bit before summoning his own wallet. He was low on cash but when did that stop him from leaving tips. He pulled out a hundred dollar bill and put it in the container by the register.
"Just out of curiosity, have you two been seeing a lot of memories?"
"Nothing much. I've seen him doin' dishes or hanging out with family and friends. I'm hoping to see the day he becomes Spider-Man." Beside him Spider-Man laughed nervously.
"Let's hope not. That was a pretty embarrassing period in my life."
"So it didn't just come naturally to you? Oh this is gonna be amazing." Behind the mask Peter could feel a blush creeping up on him. 
"I haven't seen much of your past either. Other than that Weapon X  memory. I saw when you first met Loki which was interesting."
"Is that really what I look like when I blush? Damn I am hot."
He pulled a stank face. "Don't be weird." Then turned back to the Spiderling. "Never bring that up again or your ass is grass, do you understand?"
The Spider eagerly shook his head. "Good."
"How much food do you three typically eat?"
"Enough to feed a small army. I mean a god, spider and immortal merc what can you expect."
"Sounds like the beginning of a dirty joke."
"Bet, so a merc, spider dude and god all walk into a club." Spider-Man lightly punched DP in the shoulder while laughing.
"I didn't finish."
"Neither did any of them." Loki cackled. Tony chuckled along while Spider-Man continued to laugh. Under the mask it was evident Deadpool was unimpressed.
"On a more serious note," Tony started. "Since you won't be taking any jobs Deadpool."
"Please call me Mr.Pool." Loki and Spider-Man giggled at their friends' antics. Never one to be serious for long.
"Yeah anyways, if you still want to make suits I'm still down to help you. There's no need for a Spider-Man sized Deadpool suit so I figured you could just make one for when you're back in your body. Put kalvar on and maybe vibranium."
"Good idea Anthony."
"I suppose I could. Well I'm free whenever you are brainiac."
"Spider-Man, did you still want to build a new suit? You could make two. One for Wade's body and one for your own."
"Sounds great."
"Good. We can start when we get back."
Cautiously an employee walked up to the group. "Your food."
"Thank you." Loki pulled out a fifty dollar bill and handed it to them.
"You really out here just giving away money. You do realize you're runnin' broke." Deadpool looked back at the giddy employee gushing over the fifty dollar bill as they walked out the door.
He unlocked the car and climbed in the front seat. "Maybe. But they need it more than I do right now."
Tony stared at the man occupying his body in slight awe. He would have thought the man to be a bit more money hungry. Stingy like himself. 
"Let's get home and dig in."
The ride back was filled with laughter as they all talked freely.
______
"I can't believe you did that!"
"It had to be done."
Behind Loki and Tony, Spider-Man and Deadpool laughed. "No you didn't. You were just bored."
"If it cured my boredom it was just a plus." They all doubled over in laughter.
"Pass me my containers, Lokes." They were all back in the lab sitting around one of the tables.
"I seriously will never understand how you guys eat so much." Tony said.
"Did you even breathe when you ate yours?" Under the mask Deadpool raised an eyebrow.
"Don't listen to him. He never breathes when he eats Mexican food." Spider-Man then turned to DP. "Need I remind you that you are halfway through your second container."
Loki chuckled at their exchange. His head dipping back down to his food. It was delicious. Like he knew it would be. Better than the pizza and pastas they'd been eating everyday since the switch happened.
"We should eat out more often."
Tony raised an eyebrow. "I know you're in my body but that doesn't mean you have to think like me too."
"No, I mean it. Let's go out again tomorrow. Spider-Man can pick, then Deadpool, then me. All new places."
Reluctantly Tony found himself opposing the idea. "If we were to get caught the whole operation could be in danger."
"Food is always worth the risk. Plus haven't you been having fun with us."  The mask showed Deadpool's puppy dog eyes perfectly.
"Well yes but-"
"But nothing, when has Tony Stark ever followed the rules." Spider-Man had surprisingly joined in on the coaxing.
Tony adjusted himself in his seat. Took a deep breath and said "You've convinced me." He smiled at the trio. "Finish eating so we can get to work on the suits."
They dug in with more gusto than before.
________
Tony was checking his supply closet to make sure they had enough material for all the suits when he heard the mumbled words "Uggggh, I don't think I can move." Come from one of the three.
He rolled his eyes and walked over. All the containers were empty. Not a spec of food was left. "Did you lick them clean?" Hands on his hip he shook his head in disappointment at Deadpool's nod.
"Sorry Tony but I don't think any of us can work. Can we postpone it to tomorrow?"
He sat down. "Yeah." Checking the time it was close to 21:30. "It's pretty late anyway."
Beside him Loki hummed in agreement. "On another note, what's the news with SHIELD? I cant imagine they've given up."
Tony sighed. "They haven't. If anything they're getting more restless. Basically breathing down our necks. Steve, Natasha, and Sam are all working overtime to make sure they stay out of the loop."
"I am sorry about this mess I've caused. I really didnt want anything like this to happen. Ever."
Tony waved his hand as if to wave away the apology. "I know. I'm sorry too. We attacked you unprovoked that day. Even putting civilians in danger."
"Doesn't matter now." Their heads turned to Deadpool. The spider-man mask showed no emotion. "Everything's shot to hell now. And its not exactly lookin like it'll get better any time soon."
"Deadpool-"
"Spider-Man, you can't twist this into a good thing. No apology will change what's already happened." The fiery gaze behind the webbed mask turned to look Tony in the eye. "I know one thing for sure though, if the government comes anywhere near us I'll kill all the Avengers."
The mercenary quickly got up and left the room. The Spiderling was hot on his heels.
"I never thought a threat from him would be so scary before."
"Then you must underestimate Spider-Man."
He put up his hands in defense. "No, not at all. It's just his usual bubbly personality that doesn't exactly go with menacing merc."
"Mhm, I suppose. Deadpool is right though, surprisingly he made a lot of good points." The two locked eyes. A fire burned in each one.
"Why don't you want to go back to Asgard? Your mother could help."
"That's none of your business."
"Hell yes it is. It became my business when we switched bodies."
He shot up from his seat. The chair flew backward. He bent down to face Tony. To look him directly in the eye. "I will not be returning and that's final, so drop it!" He downright hissed. A few beakers shattered. The god took a few deep breaths. "Please, just stop."
To appear bigger he got up too. "No, not until you tell me-!" He got light headed. Gripping the table for balance before he blacked out.