Walk a Mile

"Your dramatic ass."

"What in the hell does that mean?"
"It means exactly that. We're too alike to be apart." 
"You sound crazy." Anthony got up quickly and walked over to the island to pour himself a glass of tequila.
Still on the couch Loki turned so he could still see Anthony. "Maybe so. But you can't deny it either. We are alike. So alike, it's frightening."
Anthony scoffed. "So alike we can't be apart? You hear the insanity, right?"
"No I don't. Want to know why? Because for the last few weeks we've only hung out with each other. And in the few weeks we've talked about shit we'd never bring up with anyone else. Not even Bruce, not even Stephen."
"That's because-"
"No you can't say 'Because we see each other's memories and talk about how depressed we are' because we do that shit willingly. We could easily just watch the memories and still say fuck the other. But we don't. We talk to each other. We're decorating a room that I might live in permanently. We shop together and eat together. And we do all this like we're not who we are!" Loki heaved. "Now look me straight in the eyes and tell me you've done the same with anyone else."
From the island counter Anthony was looking taken aback. Having not expected such a speech from the god. 'That probably would have sounded a lot scarier had it come from his own mouth.' His shoulder sank. 'But he is right. As much as I hate to say it.'
Loki watched as Anthony's head hung low in what almost looked like shame. He smiled triumphantly.
"Your dramatic ass."
"Pardon?"
"Did you have to word it like that?"
Loki laughed and smiled. "Like you said, I'm dramatic." It was silent as they stared at each other. Letting everything sink in a little more. 
"Loki, have you really never told anyone what you've told me?" The other man stared so hard at Anthony. It was like he was piercing his mortal soul.
"The fact that you doubt me is insulting. Do you honestly think that I would talk about my trauma freely for fun with anybody else? Do you think that I would bring that shit up for just anybody?! Nobody knows! Gods, the fact that you even asked." He ran a hand through his hair. Remembering again that this wasn't his body, or his planet.
Loki stood up from his spot on the couch. Contemplating whether he should walk over to Anthony or leave and collect his thoughts.
"When I was living in Asgard I experienced countless horrors. I hate that I was put through that toture." He took a few steps in Anthony's direction. "I hate that nobody asked how I felt, or how I was doing. And for you to sit up here and have the audacity to question me, it fucking hurts." They were face to face now. Mere inches apart. 
"Loki, I didn't mean-"
"I'm sure you didn't. After all, who could trust the god of lies? Thats why you asked, right? Because I'm a liar that can't be trusted. Do you even know why they call me that?" Sarcasm and hurt was etched into his face. A look that Anthony knew was all too familiar. Even though he knew the question was rhetorical he answered anyway.
"No I don't."
"Do you want to know?" He moved away then. To lean over the counter. Not meeting his eyes.
"Don't be afraid to answer honestly. I know a lot of people don't care."'About me' Even though Loki didn't say it Anthony heard it. And it rang in his ears like a church bell. 'Who wouldn't want to know about such a person?'
"Of course I want to know."  Loki looked over briefly before he started to talk.
"When it comes to quick escapes, mischief, and trickery I'd say I'm the master of them. Not because I wanted to be but because I needed to be. I lied to get them everything they wanted. Everything they needed. And when shit hit the fan," Loki laughed maniacally. "Guess who was the one paying for it. Not a thank you in sight, nah, instead I got more toture and a legacy of bastardry. The God with a silver tongue. The God of Mischief and Lies." Finally Loki looked over at him and their eyes locked. "Something I never wanted."
Loki spoke with such desperation that it really had cemented that he could trust him fully. That everything they had ever spoke about was the goddamned truth, as sad as it is.
Anthony had seen himself at rock bottom more times than he'd like to count and he knew it never looked good. But actually looking at himself right now. Looking at how tired and drained Loki was...did something to him. 'Is this regret?'He found himself wondering. 'For asking such a dumb question.'
Loki sighed and closed the distance between himself and the other genius. Letting his head fall against his chest. "For a genius I'm really stupid. Sorry."
"I'm not saying to never question me or my actions but never question me like that again." Anthony laughed weakly.
Both men flinched apart as J.A.R.V.I.S' voice rang through the room. "Its nearing 23:00. Might I suggest you both get ready for bed."
Loki and Anthony looked up at the ceiling in confusion, until the realisation settled. Anthony was quick to set the AI right. "J, he isn't sleeping here. Matter a fact we hadn't even noticed what time it was."
"My apologies sirs." The AI paused. "Are you sure that Loki isn't spending the night in your bed?"
Before Anthony could even begin to process what in the hel his AI had said Loki was answering the question with poise and dignity.  "Not at the moment, J.A.R.V.I.S. Our current situation would make it incredibly hard to enjoy the night."
    "I understand."
It took Anthony even longer to process what Loki had said. "I wasn't aware you were trying to be in my bed at the end of this."
"Well I don't want you to run away from me, Anthony."
A shiver ran down his spine for two reasons. One, he is flirting with Loki. Two, Loki was in his body. Hard to be turned on when flirting in this situation.
"Mr.Loki, might I suggest leaving now. You will see him tomorrow."
Loki didn't even speak as he stomped out of the room. The look on his face would haunt Anthony through the night. As he laid down in bed for the night his thoughts circled back to the other man.
'I wasn't aware my face could make an expression like that... it would be better on Loki.'
____________
Loki had barely hung out with anybody other than Anthony and his team. Occasionally having conversations with The Winter Soldier and Falcon. Other than that he was by himself. Totally okay with this, hel he enjoyed it. Today was not going to be one of those days. He didn't want to leave his room. He didn't even want to leave his bed to use the bathroom.
Loki was not in the mood to deal with Life to today. So do you know what he did when someone came knocking at his door? He threw them against the wall. A simple spell that even a child could do.
On the outside of the door Clint was struggling to get up off the cold floor. "Ugggghh. Asshole." He groaned.
Natasha and Steve came running round the corner looking worried. And low key expecting to see Deadpool webbed to the wall. "What are you doing over here Clint?"
"I was trying to talk to Loki."
"Why? What do you have to talk to him about?"
Clint had to push down the urge to twiddle his fingers in front of Steve. Like a child who had gotten caught stealing cookies.
"Just stuff." Yeah nice, they'll totally buy that. "Seems like the door is warded or something so I'm gonna go through the vent."
Of course this only made his situation worse. Not even two minutes later a man fell down from his ceiling. "Thats not nice Loki. Here I thought you were a good guy."
Loki rolled his eyes. "Archer, I suggest you leave."
"It's not even Christmas yet and you're already acting like a Grinch. How small is your heart?"
"It's gone." He whispered. He was mentally exhausted and just wanted to sleep the pain away.
The Archer either didn't hear or didn't care because he kept on annoying him. "Come on Loki. Get up, we need to talk."
"Hel no, get out!"
'So help me gods if I have to call someone in here to come get this man.'
"You need to leave. I am not in-"
"I'm sorry." Silence. "I just wanted to apologize for the whole kidnapping thing. And starving you. I understand you weren't in the right state of mind during New York."
Loki moved the cover from over his so he could look at his intruder.
"A- and I looked into all the stuff you've done since. You've stopped a lot of bad people. I saw that you and Deadpool donate a lot of money to children and families too. That's very nice of you." Loki just stared at the man with a blank face. Zero emotion showed on his features. It was quite unsettling even to a shield agent. As the silence stretched on Clint decided it might be best to apologize again.
"I'm sorry."
"I heard you the first time, Barton." He sighed. "Even though they weren't my actions you still suffered. I'm sorry too."
"If only the other could see that too."
"Thank you, Archer."
They smiled at each other before Clint said his goodbyes and left through the vents.  When Loki was sure he was gone he got up and sat in the middle of his bed. His mirror was positioned so that he could see himself perfectly from his comfortable spot.
"Surely," He began to talk to his reflection. "I just imagined that. The Archer really came to apologize. To me. I'm speechless. I never expected him to do that." Loki could feel the tears urging their way forward. "I won't cry." He told himself. "But I want to. I can't remember anyone ever apologizing like that to me. I... really needed that. It felt good. And to think I thanked him afterward."
"Wait a damn second, he looked into Deadpool and I. Guess I can't be too surprised he is a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Or used to be one. Whatever, but still. It kinda feels nice that he knows. Knows that he does care. Despite how I made the money to pay those donations he said they were nice."
He smiled at himself. "Humans really are different from Asgardians. I should have run away sooner. Though the human world probably would have treated the same way. Looking at it realistically. Life can be so shitty and confusing sometimes." And with that he fell back onto his bed. He closed his eyes and just thought about everything that had happened. How everything had changed because he had been at his wits end.
Another long sigh. He turned his head to look at the time. The clock read 13:04. The day had barely started. He hadn't been awake long but damn did he want to go back to sleep.
He sprung up as an idea hit him. "I wonder if Anthony has something like a cafe around here. Or like a craft room. J.A.R.V.I.S where is Anthony?"
"He is currently in the lab." Loki thanked the AI and made his way there.
Inside the lab Anthony was bent over a table. He didn't seem to be pleased with whatever he was working on. "You okay?" Loki asked.
The genius flinched slightly. "Do you not make noise? Announce your presence next time. I could have thrown something at you."
He chuckled. "Are you okay Anthony? You seem a bit upset."
Stark sighed heavily. "Bruce was just in here. Pissing me off as he likes to do now."
Loki sat down across from him. "I thought you two were the best of friends. What happened?"
"The day we were coding the suits he came in and told me how he was feeling after watching Thor's memories. He wanted to excuse all of his behavior because we were friends. Act like none of it ever even happened. And when I said we should do the same for you he tried to defend himself. I know he was thinking the situations were different but what was really different. The fact that Thor was an asshole murderer for fun and you were under mind control? If anything, that's only helping my case."
Loki had never heard someone speak of his brother in such a way. Especially when that someone was his friend. He couldn't hold back his laughter.
Anthony gave the man a bewildered expression. "Why are you laughing?"
"Sorry," He paused to catch his breath. "It's just a bit funny to me. To see you so upset about it makes me a little happy. Is that fucked up?"
"No. He made your life hel. I would wish bad on him for eternity. And the thing is Bruce is biased because he likes Thor too much to see the facts."
"And what would the facts be, Anthony?"
"That Thor is a dumbass, soulless, cold hearted, little bitch." Loki didn't even try to hold back his laughter. He let it echo off the walls of the lab. Meanwhile Anthony watched with a small smile. Waiting patiently for him to calm down.
"J.A.R.V.I.S, please tell me you caught that on camera." Loki wheezed.
"Of course. Would you like for me to send it to your devices?"
"Yes, thank you."
'Definitely sending that to the group chat, the others will keel over too.'
"I'm glad I could make you laugh, Loki. Now what were you doing down here anyway?" Did you miss me?"
"Don't flatter yourself, Stark. I came to ask if you had a craft room or something. As I at present can't go to my favorite cafés."
"We don't. Sorry. But I could build you one."
He smiled. "That's very kind of you but no. You've already done enough for me." Loki stood up from his seat. "I'll leave you alone so you can work. See ya later."
A slight frown crossed Anthony's face. "See ya." Not even ten minutes later Loki was poking his back into the room.
"Do you have a library here?"
He rolled around in his chair to face him. "No. But I could build you one."
Loki frowned, nodded, then kinda sulked away. This is where he messed up. He shouldn't have nodded because Anthony took that as yes. He abandoned what he was working on and walked to the center of the room. Multiple screens popped up around him.
"What can I help you with sir?" F.R.I.D.A.Y asked.
"I need to build a new section for the compound. A library/study room. It needs to be the size of the lab or bigger."
"May I ask why?"
"No, you may not."
'Because I don't even know.' He thought to himself.
__________
"Hey Loki." A head popped down from the vent above him.
"Archer. What can I do for you?" He stepped aside so that he could drop down.
When his feet were firmly on the ground he carried on. "Wanted to see if you wanted some Subway. I was on my way out and thought you might want some."
"I'm fine. Thanks. But could you maybe stop by Steams and get me a strawberry-banana smoothie and three chocolate muffins."
"Sure."
"Do you mind if I ask Anthony if he wants something?"
"Nope."
He nods. "Hey J, ask Anthony if he wants something from Steams." The AI affirmed.
One minute, two minutes, three minutes, seven minutes and the idiot hadn't replied yet.
"Shouldn't you go see what's taking so long?"
Loki raised an eyebrow but agreed anyway. "Might as well. Come on Archer."
Clint shook his head rapidly. "I'm not allowed in the labs." Wow, was all Loki could think.
He basically stomped down to the labs. Whatever the genius was doing it better be important.
_______
"Sir might I suggest that you hide the plans for the new room, Loki is on his way here." Anthony was quick to get rid of all the evidence of him building a chill room for Loki and pullin up the menu for Steams again. He had it open but then he noticed a flaw in the schematics of the room and was pulled back into the work.
"Anthony Stark. What is taking you so long?"
He shyly spun around in his chair to meet the other man's gaze. "I just can't decide on what I want. It's between the umm, the uh," He scanned the menu again. "The chicken wrap and flatbread pizza."
"J. Tell the Archer that Anthony will be having the flatbread pizza half pepperoni and half triple cheese."
"Understood Loki."
The slight irritation that Loki was feeling vanished as he asked, "That was the kind you like, correct?"
Anthony on the other hand felt a little giddy that the god had remembered. "Yes it was. Thanks."
"Mr. Barton is now leaving. He said that if you have any other requests feel free to ask."
The genius snorted. "Nice to see you talking to him. When did that happen?"
"Today. He came to me and apologized." The smile did not go undetected.
  "Oh wow. I'm not all that surprised though."
"So you saw this coming?"
"It's not that I saw it coming or anything, just that out of Natasha, Steve and Clint, I knew he would be the first to come to you."
"I don't expect to ever be on good terms with them. They'll never trust me. And I'll never trust them." Anthony waved Loki to come sit.
"Why is that?" He questioned as Loki sat down.
"Rodgers is too patriotic, and he's so far up his and governments asses that he can't see sense. Natasha is a spy and so far up both Rodgers and Fury's ass. Though sometimes it feels like she can see through the bullshit."
"I noticed that too. Clint and Natasha worked together for years, hel they still do, why do you think you can trust him?"
"Because Clint said sorry."
They stared each other down. It was harsh and unmoving. "Is that all it takes to earn your trust?" Anthony grimaced. 'That came out wrong.'
The animosity that glowed in his eyes was astounding. 'Definitely should have thought that through.'
"It's not. But it helps. I've been through a lot and rarely have I heard the words 'Thanks' or 'Sorry' come out genuinely. Clint is a good man. He loves his family and enjoys saving people and making the world safer. He has earned my respect."
They both sighed, looked at each other then laughed.
__________
"Yo Jarvis, where are the nerds?"
"Still in the lab Mr.Barton. Shall I tell them you are back?"
"Yeah. Tell them I'm in the kitchen."
While he waited for the nerds he unpacked the food for them and threw the bags into the pantry.
"The Archer told me he is banned from your lab, why is that?" Loki asked curiously as they entered the communal kitchen.
"The fucking idiot almost killed me." At the perfectly raised eyebrow he continued. "This happened about four months ago. I was modifying my arc reactor aka my fucking heart," He turned furiously toward Clint. Who smiled sheepishly as he passed them their food. "When all of a fucking sudden Clint comes running into my lab yelling about how he broke his electro arrows and needed me to fix them."
Loki looked confused. "That doesn't sound too bad though."
"There's more. Clint here doesn't have any manners. So you know what he does, he slams the arrows down in front of me UNPLUGGING the arc reactor from my chest in the process."
"But I thought you got the shrapnel out of your chest."
"I did. But my body had gotten too used to the arc reactor. I still can't live without it. So make sure to take care of my heart."
The moment was tender and sweet as they looked into each other's eyes. Eyes so familiar and bright. So full of trust.
But the moment didn't last long because Clint was there and he has no manners.
"It was an accident I swear." Tony glared half heartedly at Clint.
"Try your pizza. Trust me you'll love it. Steams food is the best out of all the cafes I go to."
Loki was right. As soon as he took a bite there were stars in his eyes. There was just enough of everything. He could taste every ingredient. It was so well balanced.
"It's delicious! I haven't had flatbread like this since my mom died."
"Was she a good cook?"
"The best. She would make all types of dishes."
"Can you cook?"
"Of course! I just prefer not to." He shrugged. "You have a big sweet tooth, can you bake?"
"I can. I just prefer not to." Loki turned to look at the Archer. "Do you cook for your family?"
"Oh no. I can't cook to save my life. I once tried to make chicken and forgot to season it. Laura banned me from the kitchen after that."
Loki shook his head in disbelief. "Next you're gonna tell us you can't do the laundry."
Clint giggled nervously. "I never separated the clothes and constantly bleached the blacks."
Across from him Loki and Tony cackled. "Wow! Can you clean? Or wait, let me guess you clogged the toilet with wet wipes?" Tony gasped. Beside him Loki laughed with renewed vigor.
"No. You big meanie." Despite himself Clint laughed too.
_________
Off to the side Natasha and Steve watched the scene in silence. "I wonder what they talked about."
"Clearly it was life altering. Should have gone in the vent with him."
"Why Tony thought it was a good idea to turn off the cameras will never make sense. What if he lied?"
"No. Tony wouldn't do that Steve. Look at them. There's no way."
"Mhm. I guess you're right. It's just a bit odd that Clint and Loki seem to be getting along after one conversation."
"I'll make sure to ask him later." They watched for a few more seconds before leaving to their respective rooms.
__________
"Alright, I gotta head back to the lab. I'll see you guys later." Tony waved them goodbye and rounded the corner.
Neither spoke.They sat in the comfortable silence getting used to the others presence. Kinda like they were skiing each other up. Letting the other know that it was okay.
Surprisingly Loki was the first to break it. "I really needed that earlier. Thank you."
"No need to thank me. After all, what we did was messed up."
"There's no denying that."
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The manager at Steams was wondering when you would come back. Said they had a few books you might like."
Loki perked up. "Really?! Did they say what they were?"
"Sorry, no. The worker said that if you want to know you have to go say hi. They really miss their number one customer."
"I'm surprised they want me to come back."
"As soon as I said the order, someone in the back came running out. I'm guessing that's your go to."
"Yeah."
"Well the worker that came out back was like 'You know Loki? Do you know when he's coming back?' They really like you. I felt bad telling them you wouldn't be back for a while."
"I'm pleasantly surprised. I'll have to see about sending a care package."
Clint snorted. "Shouldn't they be sending you one?"
"Maybe. But I still want to send one."
"Why do you like reading so much?"
At the random question Loki raised his eyebrow. "I'm just curious, you don't have to answer."
"Reading is a way to see the world when you are shackled."
"Noted. How does it make you feel?"
"As cliche as this may be, it makes me feel free. What made you pick archery?"
"I was in the Circus."
Loki giggled. "You're kidding."
"Nope. It was an interesting experience. Some good, some bad. But all of it was good for me in the end. What's your favored weapon?"
"Knives. I prefer close combat."
"Why?"
"The better see the light leave their eyes."
"Was that a joke?"
Their eyes locked. "No."
"Dangerous little dude."
Scoff. "I'm actually taller than you, Archer."
"By a few inches." Loki rolled his eyes. He'd let him believe that if it helped him sleep at night. "So when are you gonna switch back? I can tell you miss doing your regular activities."
"I gave myself another month to switch myself and Anthony back. After that it'd probably be a week to switch back everyone else. I really do miss going to the cafes and reading."
"That's a lot sooner than I thought. So then what happens after you're all switched back. The government is on all our asses."
"Sadly. They won't come near DP or Strange. I'm also sure they don't want to mess with Anthony and his lawyers or his legion of suits. And if I'm at full power by then I can just create my own island and live isolated."
"Isolation is a bit extreme. I don't think it'll one to that. By then Steve and Natasha will have gotten to know you better."
"Doubt it."
Clint frowned. "Think positive, you gloomy ass."
"That was positive. There's nothing wrong with isolation."
Clint looked skeptical. "You've gotten used to living with Deadpool. Dealing Spider-Man, practicing witchcraft with Strange and swapping strategies with Daredevil. Would you really be able to live by yourself on a deserted island?"
Loki groaned and let his head hit the counter. The fucker was right. There was no way he would be able to live alone after dealing with such rambunctious people. He'd miss them too much.
'At some point I would have been able to do it. But not now.'
"Fuck you Archer."
Clint threw his head back and let out a howl of a laugh. "Don't worry I wont tell a soul." He smiled. "I'm glad we had this talk, Loki. We should hang out more."
Loki groaned again. This time louder.  Which only made the other man laugh again. "Fine. I say we play darts. See who's aim is better." Loki smirked.
"Oh you are so fucking on."