The Nerd and the Whore

Chapter 5

Frank's POV

It was already 6:00 when I got back home, with my mom in a panic. Shit, I forgot to call my mom when I left. Well, she's going to have it in for me. I tried to avoid my mom the whole night, which was an even worse idea, but I guess she wanted to avoid me too. My mom didn't come to interrogate me about my wrong doing until around 10:00, which surprised me. Usually, she immediately wanted to punish me.

"Frank, we need to talk." She said in a seemingly nice way.

"Yeah, mom?" I said, as I rolled over to face her.

"You need to stop doing this." No emotions at all. I swear this woman is crazy.

"Well, mom, I'd like to know what this is. Please and thank you."

'Worst response to pissed parent of the year' goes to Frank Iero.

"Frank, I'm being serious, and if you want to be a smartass, I'd hand over your phone now. I'm tired of you constantly avoiding me and trying to leave. I know you've hit a rough patch in your life with the move and everything, but that doesn't mean avoiding people."

"Mom, I'm not. I talk to you on a regular basis. Why in the hell would I avoid you?"

"Language. If you don't start to make friends, this year will be harder for you than you think, so I'd clean up your act."

"Okay, whatever." Again, a horrible response by me.

"Oh, by the way, I signed you up for gymnastics so you can meet some new people before school starts."

I was absolutely stunned. I'm not athletic or social. My moms logic is completely dumb. How am I supposed to make friends if I'm failing at what I'm doing and being made fun of for it?

"Um, mom, why did you sign me up for a sport and not like, per say, a music class?" I am beyond pissed at this point, and I'm practically yelling at my mom.

"Because I'm your goddam mother, and if you decide to question my authority one more time, I swear I will take everything you care about."

"Like you took me away from Ray? Mom, do you not realize you've taken everything from me already? I can't even contact him since his mom thinks I'm a faggot. There's nothing else you could possibly take from me that would hurt me at this point. I'll go to the stupid fucking gymnastics classes or whatever the fuck they are called, but if you think you can threaten me, I would reconsider your wording." I knew I crossed a line. You could almost see the steam coming from her ears.

She left the room and didn't talk me the rest of the night, so I was left alone for the night. I didn't know what to do with myself. The first practice was tomorrow, and for all I know, I'm going to go get stuck with a bitchy coach who thinks she's better than me. I'm not sure if I even own a pair of shorts anymore. All I own is skinny jeans, and well, sweatpants, because lets be real, they are comfy as fuck.

It was around 1:00 and I decided to go on Tumblr, and of course, all that came up was gay porn because um, duh. All I really needed, was to relax and focus on something other than gymnastics tomorrow. I couldn't even take my mind off of it, so a I played my Spotify playlist, and of course, the most relevant song came up: I Miss You by Blink 182. Really? Does life just want to make me relapse right now?

I had gone into a severe depression once people started to bully me, and I didn't know how to handle the situation. I thought it was all my fault. I took it out on myself. One night, I decided to try just one or two cuts, but I got addicted quickly, and soon, my whole right thigh was covered in new cuts and old scars. I never wanted to ever try to commit suicide, but one of the last few words that were on my locker were "kill urself faggot". That's what pushed me over the edge. I came home that night, bawling after my regular beating. My mom, dad, and sister wouldn't be home for another hour. I tried to hang myself, but I failed. My mom had come home early, saw me, and called the ambulance. I ended up in a psych ward for over a month and a half.

I had recovered and I'm loving where I'm at in recovery, but this gymnastics thing is going to be the death of me. I can't even do a somersault. I'm pretty much screwed unless there's someone there who gets me. Which isn't likely. I'm hard to get along with. Being smarter than the average teenager had its benefits, but it had just as many cons, as well. No one understood what you were saying half the time. You have a bigger vocabulary than dick, pussy, and fuck. I always got along better with adults, which also sucks because they think you are still a kid.

I started getting tired, but I couldn't get my mind to shut off enough to sleep. I was trapped in my thoughts. Especially late night depressing thoughts. I was in the thoughts I've been avoiding for months. I listened to depressing music until I fell asleep. Blink was my first choice. Adam's Song is my life story. The Amity Affliction came on next, and I could start feel my eyes well up. BMTH came on, and I was bawling. I never realize how much music can help until I'm dying. After that, I knew anything could make me cry, so I kept the playlist on until I drifted into a deep sleep. It's better to cry than to hurt yourself. Right?