Poetry - a sin

5

As soon as you came out of the building, the rain was ready to drench you. "Namjoon was right" You whispered to yourself before removing your scarf and beanie and keeping them in your bag.

You opened your phone, only to see several missed calls and messages from Ms. Song. One message caught your eye, drivers number was there, 'send him your location. '

You put your hood up as you were ready to run. You saw a couple running on the street, the boy and girl trying to save themselves from rain by the jacket the boy was holding.

Your plan to run and quickly save yourself from rain, changed as now you were just walking slowly in rain, tears building in your eyes and you let them fall.

No one will know that you are crying, right? Maybe you were too deep in thought that you ignored the looks other people were giving you. They might be wondering why you are allowing the rain to drench you when  you can run.

But it's not your fault that this rain along with water is pouring so many memories to you. How you used to make paper boats and sail them, how you used to dance like crazy in the rain, how you used to eat ice cream in this weather or how this rain took your everything??

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Flashback

" Let's go!!!! " You yelled as you hopped on the car. Your brother who was seated on the driving seat just chuckled at your excitement.

It was raining really hard but that didn't stopped you guys from going out on a drive.

Everything was going on fine. You and your brother were enjoying on some pop songs, Sometimes even roasting some of your relatives which you both hated, remembering your memories and most important, missing one specific person, eunwoo, your best friend.

You guys always go on a ride together on weekend but today, he has to attend his cousin's wedding ceremony.

With everything going on perfect, a loud scream was heard making you a bit shocked. "I think there is an accident. " Tae min said as he was about to open the car door and get out of the car.

The horn sound was heard and you looked at the front only to see a truck coming in your direction with full speed.

The last thing you remember was you yelling 'oppa' and his scared face.

You were in hospital IV connected to your wrist. You tried your best to squint your eyes to see two elders looking at you, your dad and eunwoo's mom.

"Where is tae min oppa? '' your voice came out groggy. Your throat was sore and dry as if you haven't drink water for days.

Your father was looking downwards and his mom was staring at you, there was anger and disappointment in her eyes. She was angry, for what?

"He is no more". Your father spoke and you looked at him with your eyes wide. You can easily see the tears in his eyes as he was trying to control them. You looked at Ms. Cha, " Where is eunwoo? " You needed him, you needed his hug like how he hugged when you were just 9, your cat died and he was the one who calmed you down.

Tears were flowing from your eyes and with your already dry throat, you were choking on your tears, this cant be true right. Everything was fine, is it a dream? When will you wake up from this dream? You tried to speak your question again, but your voice caught inside your throat as you heard her next words, " He is dead. Eunwoo is no more. " She murmured as if she was not in her senses.

"What are you saying, auntie?" You asked holding her shoulders, not caring the pain you were having in your chest. She pushed you slightly before taking back some steps. "He gave you his everything, yeona. Everything. " She raised her voice a little at the last part, while you just stared at her confused.

You got into an accident, you lost your brother, and this lady right here is saying that your best friend is no more. This was too much to intake, besides your worn out body, headache and this pain in your chest was not helping at all.

You look at your dead who was standing away from you, his eyes fixed on the floor and he didn't dare to meet your eyes, the tears he was hiding were now flowing out of his eyes and you just stare at him, he was not your dad, he was not that happy cheerful person who loves to tease you and make fun of you, he was different, he was weak. The death of his own son made him show the side he never showed before, not even when his wife left her, his weak side.

The doctor came in running through the door after knowing you are awake, he was quick to calm you down as you were basically trying to stand up, which was not good for your health.

"What happened Dr. ?'' You asked with some hope in your eyes, but after looking at the look of pity dr. gave you, you lost your senses.

" Ms. Lee, your brother is no more, he got into an accident, the truck crushed your car, and due to loss of blood, he couldn't make it. " He explained in his soothing calm voice.

"How am I even alive then? " You spoke in a voice barely abouve a whisper. The tears still didn't planned to stop.

The doctor took a deep breath before continuing, "Since, you had a heart disease, chances of you being alive were very little, but fortunately, you were still breathing when you were brought to hospital, you need a heart donor who can donate his/her heart to you, which wasn't very easy to find. " You looked straight into his eyes and you realized it when he break his eye contact before speaking, "Your friend Mr. Cha eunwoo decided to donate his heart. "

'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'°'

Since that day, you are moving with heaviness on your shoulders. People think it's easy to forget the one who is gone and tells that wise never grieves.

But it's not easy to forget someone who was once your life. You didn't understood why eunwoo gave you his life, you clearly don't deserve it.

"I don't trust to be alive.
I am not afraid to die. "