don't get too attached - matt sturniolo

chapter three

when i arrived at nick's doorstep, the first thing i took in was the lack of personality. it made sense, i guessed, seeing as how they wouldn't be living there long enough to add anything special. the standard shrubbery leading up to the door was perfectly trimmed and the lawn was obviously freshly mowed. if nothing else, it appealed to the standards of temporary suburban living.

i took a moment to breathe deeply, preparing myself for what lay inside. what i was greeted by, however, was the exact same as the outside. no family photos lined the walls, no scuff marks or height lines were penciled by any doorways, no shoes piled over each other were left out for me to trip on. no heirlooms, no elementary crafts, no awards or achievements. everything was....blank. well, at least it was better to not have those things at all than to leave them out to gather dust by someone who couldn't bring themselves to care for them.

"nick?" i called out, craning my head back to look up at the peaked ceiling. my voice was the only sound, and the silence that surrounded me left me on edge.

but soon i heard a rapid pattering interspersed with sharp clicks, and then i was attacked by a small dog who pranced around my feet and attempted to climb up my legs. i stumbled back, giving it a half-hearted pat before shoving it off of me.

"trevor! sorry, he gets excited by new people," i heard nick call down, before he stood in the entryway, ushering the dog back with a chastened expression.

"no worries," i replied, rocking on the heels of my feet.

"chris is getting ready to go to mcdonald's with me before we kick off our project. do you want anything?"

"no thanks."

he shrugged, putting his hands on his hips. "chris! let's go!"

"neither of us can drive!" came a frustrated response.

"we'll walk!" he shot a look at me. "matt's in the living room, but he doesn't bite. you just have to put up with his inability to hold a conversation. actually, scratch that. you can't do that either. the two of you will be fine."

i nodded without comment, silently struggling to think of excuses to get myself out of this. being alone with nick was one thing, but a new kid who i hadn't even met? i wanted out of there.

but there was nothing else to say on the matter, so nick gave me a wave and opened the door. a loud series of thuds followed and chris barrelled past me, slapping nick upside the head before jogging down the pathway.

nick grumbled before closing the door behind him, leaving me in the quiet once more. i walked carefully down the hall, trying to find the living room. i was rewarded with a single sofa and loveseat facing a television, and nothing else in the room. as nick had said, matt was sitting on the very end farthest away from me, leaning on the armrest while he stared at his phone. when i set my bag down, he let a lazy glance trail over me before rising back up to my face.

"hi." he said, though it seemed like that small greeting took every bit of formality out of him.

"hey. is it alright if i sit here?"

"free country," he mumbled, tucking his legs closer into himself and drawing his zip-up jacket tighter across his body. i felt bad for intruding on his space, but since this was the one room nick gave me implied permission to be in, i couldn't really go anywhere else.

and thus started the most excruciating twenty minute wait of my life, as matt and i couldn't find one thing to say. every now and then, i would open my mouth to say something, anything to relieve the heaviness, but i would see his uninterested and somewhat resentful expression and decide against it. god, this guy could suck the energy out of a room with just a look.

by some small stroke of mercy, i heard the door open again and chris's unhinged cackles echo through the halls.

"i am never taking you anywhere ever again," nick called in ill-concealed anger. he found matt and i in the living room, looking between us before his face grew somber in a way i couldn't explain.

"we're back. ready to get started?" he directed the question towards me, though his eyes remained on his brother.

and then i saw matt give the smallest, almost imperceptible shake of his head. nick's face grew darker, before turning to me with a sigh.

"actually, is it okay if we take this to the deck outside? might be a better atmosphere for us to get our work done."

"yeah," i said, unable to stop myself from staring at matt's actions. had he just blatantly dismissed me, thinking i wouldn't notice? was he serious? i followed nick outside, letting the tepid afternoon sunlight attempt to warm me up.

finding it impossible to stop going over it in my head, i set my bag down and asked nick, "what was that about?"

"what was what about?" he said, but i could tell by his posture that he was already resigned to giving me an answer.

"matt shaking his head and us suddenly going outside. does he not like me or something? i didn't even say anything to him," i huffed, irritation building.

"no, it's not that he doesn't like you. well, kind of. he doesn't like anyone, really. and with us moving around, he's super weird about having people over."

"oh." when we as a student body warned each other about the dangers of befriending or interacting with new students who practically screamed 'army brat,' we all held the idea that this was beneficial to the outsiders as well. but to be constantly uprooted and shifted around the country like second-string luggage, then to be made a social pariah, stuck in a state of isolation and loneliness...that didn't sound helpful at all. i winced, staring at the baby blue sky and wondering if what i had been doing for years was... wrong.

"yeah. chris manages to make friends everywhere we go, and when we inevitably leave, he doesn't seem too hurt by it, but you can tell it gets to him. i just try to be as polite as possible, but matt...matt would rather not let anyone talk to him so it doesn't hurt later, y'know? can't miss someone if you never met them in the first place."

i nodded, before taking my laptop out of my bag and setting it on the small table on the deck, a silent invitation to drop an obviously touchy subject and get to work. nick gave me a smile before sitting across from me and reading the project instructions aloud.