Vengeance (Burning Beliefs #2)

Chapter Twenty-Seven *edited*

GRACIE'S POV

It's something I do all the time, but it's something I hate to do: living in the past. Rethinking every moment I've ever regretted, replaying every second I've felt genuine happiness, and daydreaming about what would've happened. What would've happened if I hadn't taken that road, if I hadn't walked up to that car, if I hadn't put a gun to my head, if I had actually gone through with it, if I never went back to Lucas and fell for him hard?

Serena asked a good question, though. Why would I decide to keep this baby, when it's going to rip this family apart?

The night I met up with Zach is fuzzy. I remember walking into the bar, the blood of a werewolf still fresh on my hands, and ordering as many drinks as I could afford. Whiskey shots were sour and strong, and martinis were smooth and thick. I didn't leave the barstool for three hours. I didn't stop crying for three hours. And maybe, just maybe, if I didn't lock eyes with the man with brown sugar hair, things would've turned out differently.

I was seeing double: four steel blue eyes instead of two. First, there was the disbelief that he was actually here. That the man who loved my dead sister was still alive, or that he was in the same proximity as I was. Next, there was the pain. Serena's voice, her eyes, her laugh, frosting on her nose, all of the little third-grade sleepovers we'd had, and the way she fell into a puddle of red the night the Angel sliced her throat. I couldn't stand to see him. 

I walked up to him as he stood up. His chair tumbled backwards. I took a swing at him, screaming bloody murder, but he didn't defend himself. He'd had a few as well. After I managed to almost break his nose, the bartender pulled us apart and dragged us outside. There was fine, misty April rain drifting slowly to the ground, and I sat in the fetal position on the ground and cried, the hot tears streaming down my face because I hadn't cried about Serena like this for seven years. Zach sat down next to me. We had a one-word conversation about missing her, and then it happened. The love we'd missed for seven damn years boiled over and we kissed. Conciously, I knew I hated it. But I was too drunk to care. We took a taxi back to his hotel, we slumped, giggling, against the walls of the elevator, and stumbled down the hallway to his room, kissing sloppily, without emotion, without passion, never the way it's supposed to be. I don't remember anything past the few steps into his doorway.

The next morning, I had the worst hangover I've ever had. My head was pounding, my hearing was blurring in and out, and I couldn't see straight. All of that was replaced with fear when I heard deep breathing next to me in the bed. I didn't recognize who it was at first, or why my clothes were scattered around the room. I thought maybe it was Lucas. We'd been in touch for the past couple of weeks, and he could've finally convinced me to get back together with him. I felt really stupid and really immature for a few seconds. Then, of course, Zach lifted his head, we looked into each other's eyes, and we knew. We knew it was all over. The stupidity and immaturity deepened. I told him that we would never have to see each other again, and I left. There was nothing to it. At least, I thought so. I'm not sure if the baby is his and the stupidity has increased even further.

I met up with Lucas that day for lunch. Now this part, I remember clearly. His emerald eyes scanned mine, he said I looked horrible. I pushed my hair back, swallowed down the tears, and said I had a rough night. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

I went back to my motel later. The day had been another bar, another blur, another sun blocked by tears, until morning came and I made myself look decent enough to pass for yes-I-am-okay. I searched the news for another hunt. I checked out. I stole a car. I ran away from my problems again.

I arrived at the morgue. They told me another doctor was there, and I thought the boys had finally caught up to me, until I saw Lucas's face yet again. He grinned, said "Good morning, Doctor" and we got to work. Turned out to be a raeth. We trapped it, we killed it, we went to a diner for lunch.