Dream SMP Sickfics

George's Self-Harm Issues

⚠️ TW: Graphic depictions of self-harm, blood, lots of blood, passing out, internalised transphobia, self-hate, depression ⚠️

(George is trans masc in this fic. It's also DNF because why the fuck not.)

It all started off as seemingly innocent scratches on his upper arms. Nothing too noticeable, so Dream didn't really worry about it too much.

At the time, George was thankful for that. Looking back on it however, he wished his boyfriend could have been able to stop him before it got too bad.

He himself usually didn't even realise he was doing it.

At random times when he was really worried about something or trouble was nagging at him for a little bit too long, he would find himself being brought back to his senses by the hot feeling of blood slowly trickling down his worryingly thin arms.

The only time he started to actually care to think about it was when he realised that somehow the sight of it didn't make him want to throw up anymore, more so it just made him calmer. That was kind of scary, the first time he really thought about it. Now he was just sort of numb to it.

And then when he realised that simply that wasn't able to cure his tension, things started to spiral. It only went downhill from there.

He started to use blades. He noticed that scissors made cuts much deeper than his nails ever could.

Soon after that, he moved onto pencil sharpeners blades, and when that wore off, kitchen knives. It was terrifying how much worse it had gotten, yet it had only been two months. Two terrible, incredibly dark months of his painfully long life.

Yet despite how much he was hurting, Dream still didn't know. He didn't know. Why? Well, let's just say George was a good actor. And Dream was an incredibly naive fool blinded by his unwavering love for the boy.

Of course, it was in no way Dream's fault. No one could easily imagine someone they love to do that type of thing to themselves, and add that to the fact that George almost never showed his true feelings to people, and you'll get the recipe for disaster.

But of course Dream had to wake up at some point as well.

It was on a seemingly innocent Wednesday morning that he finally started to catch on to what was happening.

The two lovers were sitting on the couch in front of the television. A reality TV show was running in front of them, but neither was paying much attention to it.

Dream had his arm around George's shoulder, while the other was too busy being flustered to realise that Dream had started rubbing his hand gently on his wrist through the sleeve of his oversized sweater. Despite what every cell of his body was telling him about not reacting, he winced, and Dream froze.

He froze too. Shit.

His breathing picked up and his muscles tensed slightly as Dream asked, 'you okay, Georgie?'

'Y-yeah. Everything's fine.'

'Okay.' And he continued, this time making sure to avoid his wrist. George let out a breath he didn't even realise he'd been holding. Maybe he didn't notice...?

***

The next time it happened, Dream and George were out on a walk. They were just talking and laughing about something Dream had said, and George was actually, truly enjoying himself this time.

'And then I-' George paused what he was saying when he noticed that Dream had stopped walking.

He also tried his best to swallow the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat when he realised that he was staring at his wrist.