Dream SMP Sickfics

Ranboo's Eating Disorder (REQUEST)

⚠️ TW: Heavy eating disorder, starvation, calorie counting, vomiting, passing out, descriptions of food, hospitals, basically anything that comes with eating disorders ⚠️

This is a request for @lovelydraconevile , again, sorry for the delay! This one's much longer than usual. 

Stay safe! Eat, drink, sleep, take care of yourselves <3

Ranboo had always had a strange relation to food.

When he was very young, he was admittedly a bit chubbier than most kids, but it never really bothered him too much.

He was fine until he was around 12 or 13. That's when things started to go wrong.

The kids at his school started to comment about his weight, and he was sometimes called fat.

He started eating less, and made a habit of monitoring his weight much more often than was neccesary. Seeing the numbers on the scale move upwards instead of down would always be a reminder that he was doing something wrong, and that maybe if he ate a bit less of certain things, the numbers would finally change.

Almost every morning, he was disappointed. The numbesr barely changed, and it felt like his actions were never going to pay off.

When things really started going downhill was when he decided that going on a slightly stricter diet was not enough to reach his goal.

He started skipping meals. More and more often as time went on. He was eating less and less in order to lose more weight than he was putting on, because he just had to get that perfect shape in order to stop being such a loser.

It's just a quick solution. I'll be able to go back to normal once I've just lost enough weight, he had thought.

That was three years ago. Now Ranboo could barely look in the mirror without despising what he saw.

He was a tall, lanky boy now, with barely any meat left on his bones. Yet he still couldn't help feeling guilty about his appearance.

He was constantly setting himself up for faliure when he made newer, even more unachievable goals in every passing day.

Days bled into weeks, and weeks into months and into years, and Ranboo had no idea when this all stopped being about weight and instead just an unbreakable habit, a rule that he had to follow.

Now that he only saw the world in the numbers he would be seeing on the scale the next morning, he was quickly being forced to realise that what he was doing was more than just an innocent diet.

But the thing was, Ranboo had stopped caring about the risks ages ago.

He knew what he was doing was dangerous and bad for his health, of course he knew. Those hours spent binging google for tips on how to lose weight the fastest weren't for nothing, after all.

But he didn't care about any of it as long as it helped him achieve his goal... whatever that was.

It's fine. You just need to lose a couple more pounds and you'll be fine, he reminded himself whenever he felt his stomach roar with hunger.

Sometimes it was hard to keep going. But he relished in comments from people around him saying things like "you've gotten thinner since the last time I saw you" and "you look amazing!" or "you should eat something." Of course he never actually listened to those people, but he did chuckle at their unknowingness at times. If only they knew...

Of course his parents did also start getting worried at some point, but they couldn't really help much if they had no idea what was going on.

So Ranboo's habits steadily got worse and worse as time passed.