Of course this life events of mine won't stay forever in this document and in my memory. I also share them to my best friend nica. I told her everything in detail. And she told me something about me talking about my crush in front of him which is him. I told him that I like someone and I don't know if I have feelings for him or if I'm just bored. He asked me why I felt that way and I answered him that by just simply talking or by just watching him from afar made me happy. He gave me an advice to just admit my feelings. But deep inside me I wanted to tell him that it's him whom I'm talking about. Nica told me that it was obvious. I panicked for a while. Then before I go to sleep I came up with an idea to cover up what seems to be obvious. I made up a conversation on messenger that I was being friend zoned. And edited it to a custom audience, just a group of people can see it including him. So that when I saw him again I'll tell him that I got rejected. Maybe, I hope that he will not think that I like him and be rejected if ever he finds out.
My parents aren't home so I asked my friends to come over and hangout at my place on Tuesday after our classes. I am planning to make some coffee jelly and prepare some chips as our snacks. I rushed to a nearby grocery store to buy the ingredients and some stuff I need. When I returned home, I messaged him to come and he agreed. He even offered to bring some snacks. I prepared the jelly and went to bed. I woke up at around 4:30 and started cleaning the house. At around 6:30 I took a bath while cleaning the bathroom. I choose an outfit but I don't think it looks good so I just choose an outfit that I wore the last time and I don't think any of my jackets go with it so I didn't wear any. And when the clock hits 7:30 I now went to school. And as I expected he came in late AGAIN. He was wearing the same white polo shirt and black pants with his red patterned jacket. And I remembered that I was wearing the same clothes that I wore before when he wore his red patterned jacket. On our first subject it was my classmate who will be reporting. They were just reading thier report I saw him gave faint laugh. I once sensed that he was looking at my direction using his peripheral view and I wished he was looking at me. I shooked the thought out of my head and focused on the discussion. I am really looking forward to the day that we report together like how we agreed to only if it's possible but I want him to be my partner. I once devoted myself to someone, even though he knew that I liked him he didn't rejected me but I answered his assignments, help him on his projects and even let him copy my works during quizzes. I thought maybe he'll
like me back if do these things but despite my efforts I got pprejected. I have learned that if a person doesn't like you, he doesn't like, end of conversation. Give up and start loving yourself. Someone better is waiting for you. So as I was saying I wanted him to be my partner not because I like him. But for the reason that I want to witness what he is capable of. He once mentioned that he likes reporting and one of the traits I want to see from a man is the way he enjoy what he is best at. Anyways the next subject is a bit nerve wrecking. It was my favorite subject. The teacher asked him to tell something about himself and he told the class the things I already knew about him. The next question was for everybody to answer we were asked one by one what is our job skill? I answered public speaking and advertising and when his turn came he also answered advertising. I can really see myself in him. We share common interests in many aspects. The entire lesson was filled with laughter and everytime I laughed I always took a glance at him. He only smile and laugh a little. It's getting colder and I'm starting to regret that I didn't wear any jacket. I kept complaining and my friend asked him for his jacket. I was pissed for moment but deep inside I am happy. He took of his jacket and gave it to me. I gladly wore his jacket and it smelled so nice. I can smell his scent and I can feel the butterflies. I took a selfie while wearing the jacket so I could tell nica about it. I noticed that he is cold. I asked my classmate sitting next to the window to close the windows. I wanted to return his jacket but I chickened out so I just ended up wearing his jacket through out the day. When we got dismissed, he told me that he just need to settle something with our teacher and that he will come a little later to my house. But me and my friends insisted on waiting. So while we are waiting we took a lot of selfies in front of the school gate. We started to go to my house. And when we arrived, I immediately started preparing our refreshments and took out our snacks. Including the snacks my friends brought. We talked and laughed about things. For the first 30 minutes I sat beside him. But not long after I left and prepared some food. After hours of hanging out my friend sat beside him and leaned her head towards him. I bring out my phone and started playing COD I was surprisingly good at that time or maybe just because I am imagining my friend to be that enemy that I am firing at. I walked them home and I feel like it's going to rain so wore my bucket hat. On the way he gently grabbed my hat and reversed the color from black to pink and wore them. I liked the fact that he wore my hat.
In our next class he was absent. So I do not have much to tell. But I kept glancing at his seat which was taken by someone else. My classmates asked him why he was absent and he replied he had a stomache. I wish it was just a lame excuse cause I don't want him to be sick.
I saw his COD account and sent him an XP card. I kept checking his account to see if he was active and unfortunately for five days straight I cannot match his playing schedule.
