Forbidden // OBX - JJ Maybank

Enough 5

The van had never been my favourite place in the world. The seats are constantly dirty with mud, sand and every kind of ash possible. There's never any AC since it's been broken for about 20 years and most of the windows don't even work. A shit box. Regardless, I choose to run straight for it as soon as the psycho's truck was completely out of sight. The house was no longer a safe place, it looked more like the aftermath of a hurricane than the Chateau. And since those men didn't find what they were looking for, they might decide to come back later.

The others weren't far behind me. Pope had overtaken me and thrown himself into the back before I could reach the handle. John B jumped into the driver's seat as I climbed into the back with JJ on my tail. Kie took the passenger seat and said, "Just drive, well figure out where we're going after."

-

In reality, JB already knew where he was going. He just failed to let us know what the plan was until we had arrived. We were headed to Redfield lighthouse, dads favourite place. When we were 10 minutes away I had been arguing with Pope and JJ about why those two men were after us while Kie and JB talked quietly upfront.

I overheard Kie say, "It's been a year... I know you're struggling John B just-"

JB interrupted, "My dad's missing okay? This is him trying to tell us something and you can try to deny it but. I can't just give up. Not now."

My heart was in my throat as his voice cracked on the last word. I turned away from the guys and faced the back of the van. That feeling grew from just my throat to my lungs. I was gasping for air like I was choking on my brother's pain. In a matter of seconds, I couldn't see clearly and my heart rate had sped up like I was running a sprint. The guys started talking to me but I couldn't reply. Like a cold chill slowly consuming my body, everything was eventually shaking.

Was I having a heart attack?

Thoughts consumed my mind of my dad being lost at sea, alone and scared. My brother crying on the kitchen floor after getting the news he was presumed dead. Jax dying in my arms. Everyone I care about almost getting murdered. Everything was spiralling, sparked by my dad never coming back that day. There was no controlling anything.

I was close to blacking out from all the hyperventilating when John B stopped the van. They were all talking to me, asking me what was wrong. I could see the panic on their faces but the words wouldn't escape my lips. I was sitting against the van now, JB had cradled me in his arms to carry me out. Kie had water on hand next to me with JB next to her. Everyone was hovering over me like mothers to a wounded child.

"I'm okay." I managed, after a few minutes of deep breaths. "What just happened?" I asked. They all relaxed instantly, except John B. Kie handed me the water bottle and JJ got out of a crouching position on the other side of me. 

"You just had a panic attack. well, I think that's what happened." Pope said from above.

I took a sip and said, "Don't recommend that, it wasn't fun at all." I laughed.

"Can you stand?" JB asked, staring intensely into my eyes. I stumbled into a standing position quickly and smiled.

"yep fine. We're good to go." Jumped into the van and positioned myself behind the driver's seat to avoid any worried looks. Everyone was dumbfounded, partly shocked and worried. Personally, I think that was the most terrifying moment of the past 24 hours but I was not about to show it. They climbed back in reluctantly and We sat in silence until JB started the van again. Never in my life had I experienced a panic attack, and based on the look on their faces, It was a pretty serious one.

-

"Why us?"JJ and I asked simultaneously.

"Because Lucy, I need you safe and being with the van is the best bet you'll make it out, and JJ you're just staying." John B said.

"Bro that doesn't make sense," JJ questioned,

He and Pope started arguing about variables when I walked over to JB. He looked seriously concerned, pacing back and forth while muttering to himself under his breath. I hadn't seen my brother like this in months. "Can I talk to you?" I asked cautiously.

"Just stay with the van. I don't care about whatever's going on with you two." He replied without facing me.

"That's not what I was going at..." Guilt had found its way on my face. "I think we should go to the police JB." The fear of his reaction found its way to my voice.

"And what? Have them tell us to butt out again? Yeah great idea Lou." He snapped.
"I get that you think they didn't try hard enough but they did what they could. You know what the odds were based on the evidence. He disappeared John, they didn't have anything to work with." I stood in-front of him now.
"The police won't care let alone believe us. Be realistic Lucy, our story isn't plausible. Some drug dealers chasing around a bunch of teenagers and attempting to murder them." He laughed.

I grabbed the compass out of his hand "This. This is proof! If we're honest and tell them what happened they could put us in protective custody or something!" I was close to breaking now.

He shook his head and laughed again, "We directly disobeyed Peterkin. She told me to keep out of it and we didn't. They won't help us, more likely ship us off before we can say compass." He was trying to validate his obsession with control. He needed to be in charge of finding Dad and didn't care what the consequences would be for us.

"You know I lost him too." I said finally.

He turned to me dumbfounded, "You mean Dad?" He spoke with an edge. "Yes I know you lost him, what do you even mean by that."

"Your being reckless JB and acting like you have nothing left to lose." My voice broke and tears threatened to escape. "You don't see me putting you and myself in danger. Do you?" I questioned. He stared deeply into my eyes, piercing through to my soul as I spoke. "I need you to consider letting this go, if not for yourself then me. I want to stay with you and be safe, your the only family I have left JB." I cried now, the sobs wrenched through my body.

He didn't move. He didn't cry and apologise. He just stared into my eyes as I begged him to leave it alone.

"I- I can't. Dad loves us more than anything else in the world. He is probably out there fighting to get back to us and you want me to do nothing?" He spoke blankly; without a second thought. "That's not how he raised me to be." He said finally and turned back to our friends.