KurapikaxMale!Reader | 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝐼𝑁 𝑂𝐹 𝑆𝑃𝐴𝑅𝑅𝑂𝑊𝑆

17. Haunting Memories

"You should look to be more like your brother..."

That's what his parents, his mother, and father, used to tell him. It's what the whole village used to imply.

"Stupid Sparrow."

Flashbacks to a bloody nose and punches from outsiders encroaching on the village came to Y/n's mind, which was already throbbing in pain. Most of all, it had been ages since anyone referred to him as what he was: a Sparrow of the Emerald Tribe, The Emerald Kingdom.

"Okay, alright, focus, focus!" Y/n whispered to himself desperately.

"Calm down, you trained all your life for this shit!"

But the calming shackles of Peace Training had broken. Y/n was unable to tame the millions of thoughts- of flashes of memory swimming in his head. Images hit him like lightning in his mind's eye. The bright smile of a brother, the disgusted scorn of a mother, the gentle gaze of a teacher. More than any of this, however, what he could feel the best is the horrific pulling and tearing of his heartstrings. He could hear voices of people he once knew who were all now dead, leaving him with griefs and grudges he alone would have to bear.

"Why can't you be more like your brother?"

What had that man dressed in green, with long stringy black hair, done to him?

"You're not concentrating. You have so much anger inside you."

"Don't listen to them. They don't know what it's like out there. But I've seen it. You can see it too."

"You're a disgrace to this family. You are useless."

It was at this point that Y/n could not handle the pain any longer. A gagged cry came from his mouth as he sunk his head into his knees, holding the bulk of his brain in his hands. He knew he must not be loud, but he couldn't remember why.

There's something I must do. But none of it matters anymore. This pain is too heavy a burden to bear.

He could no longer see or sense the real world. All he could see was black and sparks of rancid rainbow hues bouncing in different shapes in his vision. Now he really wanted to pray- to any and all 273 gods he had studied in the short time he wandered outside the village that had seemed like a dream. His crazed mind through their names only briefly— Dunsava, Lindaguren, Koresh, Shelstar, Odin, Yeshta, Strangeson, The Holy Trinity of Ofhunja, Sayapokitle— when a new sensation hit him. He could feel dozens of hands rise from the swaying grass of bright purples and sickening greens aiming straight towards him. They pulled at his clothes, gripped at his ankles, and scratched at his clammy skin.

"More like your brother, you stupid Sparrow..." they seemed to groan.

Y/n stumbled forward, and before he knew what was occurring he turned to see a tall figure made of furious black smoke. He could clearly see the eyes of at first his mother, then his father, his brother, a sister, a teacher, the authority, who all jeered at him. When the figure of a thousand bygone faces began appearing closer to him, reaching out an ink-black claw at Y/n, he bolted from his spot and ran for his life. A hand would reach out and grab him from the foot and he'd tumble. Rotting corpses hung from the ceiling of Y/n's hellish mindscape, brushing his cheeks as he flew by, scratching him with molding fingernails when they could. He managed to slip onto an elevated stone in the ground and held his breath as if that would keep the creatures of his past away. He held his breath in a horrified suspension, waiting for something to attack. He could see the forest now, dotted with hallucinations of piercing demon eyes and he could hear the drumming of hunting music.