4:06 - A Tale of Leukemia

Who Am I | Chapter 11

011 | The Art of contemplation

JOHNNY Cash had been stuck in his head all day, after accidentally stumbling across a song 'Hurt' that was actually pretty nice and meaningful enough to add to his playlist. It did its job at clearing his mind, for a bit at least.

Ever since Boo had went to bed last night, he couldn't stop the inkling thought from creeping into his mind, and stripping him bare from whatever euphoric thought he had ever experienced prior to his discovery.

Death

The word itself left him feeling raw. Death was the curse that went for everybody, whether they were happy prior, or sad prior, with no exception for the gay fifteen-year-old, who hadn't even gotten to experienced a first love, and knowing that death would soon consume whatever was left of his mortal body, it was hard to sleep at night.

Thanks to his lack of sleep, he had managed to completely fill out his bucket-list, concluding it with the words,

#1. FINISH TEDDY'S V-LOG

#2. LIVE

#3. Take a trip to France b4 I die/ take a pic in front of the Eiffel tower.

#4. GET A BOYFRIEND/BOYFRIENDS / HAVE FIRST KISS

#5. EXPERIENCE LOVE/FIRST LOVE

#6. LIVE TO SEE MY HAIR GROW BACK, OR GET A WIG TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS

#7. EXPERIENCE MY FIRST HEARTBREAK

#8. Maybe take a trip to Costa Rica If I'm still around afterwards

#9. SEE FAV BAND PERFORM LIVE/ OR GET ANDREI TO SING ME A LIST OF SONGS AS AN ALTERNATIVE

Most people would find making a list of things to do before death took over, utterly depressing, Boo was people, however, it gave him an excuse to do the things he'd never find himself doing before. Like, living for instance.

All his life he would live it walking around eggshells, not venturing out in fear of....

He didn't even know what invisible thing he'd been fearing all this time. Maybe, it was in fear. In fear that his cancer would come back when he least expected it, and once Teddy was finally able to convince him to let his guard down, Cancer swooped right in and reclaimed his life, and his body.

Maybe, his body had been preparing him. Maybe, his body knew he was dying then, sensed it before his doctors could, and was preparing him for the worse.

The sound of a nurse, his nurse wandering in, was enough to pull him out of his deep whirlpool of thoughts before it could suck him in completely.

''Morning, Mr. Soleil!

Cassandra

For some reason, every time he saw her face or heard her name, Andrei was the first thing to pop up on his head.

Well, that's probably because she was the one dating him...

He had the most random urge to let her know he was crushing on her boyfriend, but he had a feeling she already knew.

Recently, she had been giving him more knowing smiles, and long glances. Maybe, she was okay with it. Or maybe she wasn't dating him at all and this was her form of an okay.

He bit his lip, he could wonder all he wanted, however, he wasn't planning on voicing any of this thoughts.

''How's your day been?'' She asked him, slipping blue gloves over her hands, before washing her hands like normal, gloves over them.

He thought about, knowing he'd die soon had really taken its toll on him, and with the limited time he had left, he didn't want to waste time beating around the bush. So, instead he spoke. ''Is there a way... well, lets say I wanted to take a walk, could I do that?''

''Around the hospital? Sure, let me just get one of your nurses too - ''

''No!'' He shot out, taking in her expression of inquiry. ''Like, a...'' He thought about it. ''A forest. Anyway I could take a walk through the forest alone, without the nurses.''

She smiled softly, ''Boo, look, I'd love to say yes, but with your condition... your Chemo, there's only a certain amount of physical exhaustion your body can take, and - '' She cut herself off, no longer sympathizing. ''No, as a Nurse I cannot allow this.''

Her tone was firm, leaving no room for discussion, he didn't have her permission, and he knew he didn't need it.

The second she turned her back, he'd pack up his things and dip.

Where, he was planning on going, he had no idea, but completing his bucket-list meant complete and utter sacrifice.

Cassandra's cell pinged with a text, the sound echoing throughout the almost silent hospital room, he looked at her expectantly. Offering her a cheeky smile and a flick of the fingers in goodbye when her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

''I'll be right back, stay put.'' She commanded with a pointed look, her words meant nothing to him because the second she left the room he began to pack his bags. Nothing of importance, a sweatshirt, a clean pair of sneakers, markers, paper, and crayons, along with the list he had written for this exact moment, his phone and his headphones. He sent his parents and Teddy the most vaguest of texts.

Off on a Journey to complete my bucket-list! Bye!

Sneaking out seemed to be the easy part, all he had to do was walk... right by the nurses, no one seemed to notice him, and those who did shot him a kind smile in greeting.

He made it into the parking-lot by the time he heard Cassie scream from inside, whoops. It seemed she had discovered the pillows he had purposefully laid underneath his covers to look like him.

He made a run for it, down the street, far down the road. He had no clue where he was going, or how he was going to do this on his own without getting killed or something, but an idea appeared in the form of a Van.

The windows rolled down, revealing the recognizing face of the twenty-five-year-old who had been occupying his thoughts for the longest.

''Need a ride?'' He offered, as if knowing exactly what he was doing.

He wasted not another second before jumping in, casting one last look towards the Children's Hospital before he was off.

Off to complete number #2 on his list.

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