The Corpse And The Crazy

Caesura

I'm Sursa Winston. I solve problems. 

I got a call this morning, in the middle of making my breakfast. The eggs were not nearly done when I shut off the gas and I left home on my motorcycle. It took me less than ten minutes to arrive at the hotel and another one to get to the penthouse unnoticed. 

I knock on the door and Matthias opens. 

He's a mess, it's clear that he hasn't had a good night's sleep in a while. Even though he's a vampire, and those generally don't sleep. 

'How can I help,' I say, not yet entering. Barging in a room uninvited can cause more problems than it solves. 

'You are aware of the situation?' he asks while scanning the hallway for pursuers. It doesn't hurt my feelings that he checks, after all, I'm just an outsider to the situation. It does make me question his ability to function at the current moment, though. If he'd been at the top of his game, he wouldn't waste time. 

I nod, 'yes.'

He steps aside, unveiling a room with several very scared scientists in them. 'Solve this problem, then. I need to go.' He doesn't wait for me to enter the apartment before he runs out. I hope he won't make matters worse. 

'As you wish,' I say to myself. 

The first thing that I do is analyse the scientists. They're scared and are not thinking straight. Simply walking them through the lobby and out the door is clearly not an option.

The second thing I do is analyse the damage. There's a hole in the wall, but it seems to be part of a door, so it might be able to be closed with the right knowledge. The rest of the apartment remains untouched, so let's keep it that way. 

The third thing I do is talk to the scientists, I'm going to be real clear. There will be no screams, no concerned neighbours, no problems. 

'Are you all okay?' I ask, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

They look at each other confused, this was certainly not what they'd expected me to say. Eventually, they nod.

'I'm sorry for all this trouble, I hope none of you got injured in any way. You see, that man you just met, he's not all right in the head. Sometimes he does things like this, and other people have to come and solve the problems.' I know I'm not speaking the truth. Of all of the Duke's mercenaries, Matthias is by far the cleanest. The fact I don't know him all that well proves that. 

'So, I'm going to need you all to help me a bit. Because we can't just let you go. You will all go home and tell your spouses, your friends, your boss, maybe even the police. We can't have that.' 

One of them interrupts me, 'we won't tell anyone, I promise!'

Another one joins in, 'yeah, you can just let us all go!' The rest nods in agreement, how sweetly naive. 

However, everybody knows not to trust the words of a man backed into a corner. 

'You promise? I really don't want any problems.' 

They all nod, almost aggressively. 

'You know what? Okay. But if I hear from any one of you, I'll know where to find you.' 

One of the scientists quickly rises to his feet and starts to walk towards the door. 

'Woah,' I say, 'not so fast. You are really going to walk out of there wearing a lab coat, right into the eye of the security cameras? Come back here.'

I order them all to take off their lab coats and wait in the hotel suite. I walk outside and trigger the fire alarm. When I get back to the suite, they are in a whole new sort of panic. 

'Calm down, that was me,' I say over the blaring noise. 'Now, I heard you came from some kind of underground lab? Is there an exit?' 

The scientists nod, and I gesture that they should get going. Once down, they lead me to another solid iron door. It was partially hidden behind a cabinet and seemed to be part of the wall, locked with a padlock. 

Instead of rushing to the door to escape, the scientists wait awkwardly in front of the door. 

'Well, what are we waiting for? Open it.' 

'Er- We- We don't- We don't have a key, ma'am.'

I look at them in disbelief. They lead me all the way down here and only then do they realise they can't even use this door. Fine, I'll fix it myself. 'Is this room sound-proof,' I ask.

'Yes, ma'am.'

I grab the gun from underneath my jacket, 'and you're sure that nobody else will come down here for a while? I won't want to be around when they notice the damage.' 

'If you lock the upstairs door,' one of them says, gesturing to some button, 'there won't be anyone else down here, ma'am.' 

'Good,' I say. I close the hidden door and load the gun. 

And then I shoot every single one of the scientists.

Problem solved.