Harper

Chapter Five: The test

For the third morning in a row I run to the bathroom and throw up, my head hanging over the bowl, my eyes on the white tiles beside the toilet. "Fuck" I whisper. "Please not that" I beg as I realise this may not be a sickness bug, but that my period was late.

The sight of the unopened box of tampons beside my vanity was all I can now see, a visual I didn't need, a baby, no no no no.

I sit up and wipe my mouth and I stand and pace a little trying to work out the dates. I have been here for four weeks, staying at my mamas, but I am due to go back to my dads and find out where I go for my mission, next week.

Oh god no, he would find out, he would be so disappointed in me.

I take the stairs slowly, dragging my feet a little, mama and Willa are talking animatedly in the kitchen, it's a weekend and they are preparing to go to the community centre where Willa coaches the little ones on a Saturday.

I appear in front of them and they both stop laughing about whatever it was they were talking about. Willa releases Mamas waist from their embrace and they both turn "what's wrong" Willa asks.

I hesitate a moment "I think..." I begin "I think I need to go get a pregnancy test" I confess.

My mamas hand shoots up over her mouth.

"Oh" Willa says a little taken aback and in true Willa style she comes over and wraps her arm around my shoulder with a squeeze "I'm sure it's nothing but I will run out and get you one, okay little bird"

"Okay" I squeak and she runs out of the house leaving me and my mama stood there a little frozen to the spot.

"When was your period due" she asks me removing her hand from her mouth.

"Last week" I confess.

"Okay" she says taking a deep breath "you know if it's positive Harps your dad will obviously find out and you won't be able to go to the mission"

I nod "yeah mama I kind of knew that" I confess sarcastically.

"Baby I know I'm sorry ... I'm a little thrown I've gotta be honest" she says and she walks over and wraps me in her arms " whatever happens we are here for you and we support you okay"

"I know" I say holding tightly. "I love you"

"You too my baby" she says kissing my forehead. "I guess it's time to find out if my baby is about to have a baby" she says taking a deep breath "Harper I'm not even forty... I'm too young to be someone's grandparent" she says sitting on the stool beside me and feeling a little dazed by the thought.

"Atleast you will be young and fun... people will
Think it's yours and Willas" I return with a nervous laugh.

She hides her head in her hands and laughs nervously too "lord"

***
Three sets of eyes observing the pink test upon the bathroom counter, nervous glances shared as the seconds tick by slowly.

"Should we be seeing a line by now" Willa asks.

Mama nods "yep"

"Good I'm not pregnant" I remove my eyes and walk back into the bedroom "thank god for that" I say falling dramatically back into the bed "it must just be the stress keeping it at bay"

"It's coming" Willa calls.

I sit bolt upright, my stomach filling with worry.

"what" I call back.

Mama appears in the doorway holding up the test and I squint seeing the two lines and a tear falls down my cheek "no" I whisper "no mama" I beg and she walks over and encases me in her embrace whilst stroking my hair.