The computer program

4. His body

I hadn't really allowed myself to think about how it would feel.

Seeing a dead body.

As Professor Senju opened the door to the room where the freezer was stored, I started trembling. As opposed to his laboratory, this room wasn't modernised but old, with white tiles on the floors and walls. When Professor Senju turned the light on, I flinched in surprise, I was so tense. The lights made a tinkling noise as they blinked into usefulness and were so bright, they hurt the backs of my eyes. In front of me towered a huge, stainless steel cabinet with four hatches with doors. It was undoubtedly the freezer.

"Why are there four?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

Professor Senju looked at me, and upon seeing how hesitant I was, he came to stand by my side, making sure to touch me for comfort.

"Don't worry, there's only one body. I took the freezer over from a medical facility and they didn't have a single one."

"Yeah..." was all I could muster to whisper, and my voice was trembling.

"Izuna, you really don't have to see his body." I furrowed my brows. "I haven't been clear on that and I'm sorry, but you definitely don't need to see it in order to work with me."

I thought for a while. Of course I didn't have to; I knew that. But somehow, not seeing the donor felt wrong. Like I used him. I knew I couldn't live with myself if I just ordered the implantation of a chip into his brain without at least knowing him a little.

I took a deep breath.

"I need to meet him", I said, my voice steadier than before. "Please, let me."

Professor Senju looked at me for a while, considering what I'd said. He had his arms crossed and was tapping his fingers. Then, he turned round, took a robe from a hook which he put on, then took another one and gave it to me. It was dark green and buttoned in the back, it's heaviness providing an oddly comforting sensation. Professor Senju took a pair of light blue gloves, gave another package to me to take two for myself; two sizes smaller. Then, he bent down to the bottom right hatch, on the same level as his chest, pulled the door handle...

And opened the door.

The body lay with its feet first. I had expected the skin to look dead, but to my surprise, it didn't. The skin on the feet was pale, yes, but it looked just like any other person's skin. I knew that if I touched it, it would be cold, not compatible with life, but using sight only, one could believe this person was fine.

Professor Senju grabbed the metal table on which the body lay and pulled it out.

The man on it was big. Very big, in fact. Taller than Professor Senju and just larger in general; this person had worked out. He was naked but covered in a duvet, as if someone couldn't bear only putting a thin blanket on him for coverage. I realised that his paleness wasn't due to him being dead; his white hair colour and brows let me know he was just a pale person. His eyes were closed, his long lashes brushing his cheeks. 

But there was something else that really got to me. Something else entirely.

"Professor Senju..." I whispered.

"You see it, huhh?"

His voice was a mix of humour and sadness. I was suddenly overcome by an urge to hug the professor.

"God, I'm so sorry", I whispered.

"It was a long time ago", Professor Senju said.

I looked down on the pale man.

"How long?" I asked.

"A year", Professor Senju said and I looked up at him; that didn't seem long ago at all. "My brother died one year ago."