~Platonic Dad!Schlatt/Parental Chuckle Sandwich fics bc there's not enough non-angsty y/n Dad!Schlatt fics on here or just anywhere and with any content in general
~it may be oneshots, ideas, hcs, stories, images, etc :)
~tws included before any tw...
fam·i·ly /ˈfam(ə)lē/ noun 1. a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit. (....?)
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~Tw - Cigarette mention, Homophobia/Transphobia/Abuse mentions, implied slur usage/deadnaming ~Pronouns - They/Them ~In which a surprised and bittersweetly happy Y/N comes to understand the true meaning of family, and figures out what they're going to do with their life now that they're far away from the 'family' of their painful past. ~Important note - in this chapter the parents of Y/N are met. This is going to have two parents who are not separate for simplicity's sake, my apologies to those of you with separate parents because this may not be as 'immersive'- I hope it doesn't halt the story too badly but there's not much I can do lol. Also, ---- stands for incorrect pronouns/deadname. Please remember this! It adds to the story and makes things make sense!
Y/N glanced over at Ted, and then at Schlatt. The tension was thicker than a femboy at Femboy Fridays™ at Outback Snacc-House™ (bring one femboy get one femboy meal free!), and as what felt like the whole world went silent, the door creaked open, and Y/N stepped back a bit, Ted stepping in front of them at the sense of some kind of apprehension for which he obviously couldn't blame them. "Hello? Who is it?" Asked a groggy, cigarette stained voice that of a woman. It was Y/N's biological mother, standing at the door. The silence shattered, gone as soon as it had arrived, as the woman in the door frame raised an eyebrow at the upset man with goofy facial hair and a tie-dye hoodie at her door. "Excuse me, are you the mother of a young Mx./Mr./Ms. Y/N?" He spoke, passive agressively in a sickly sweet, fake tone.
"Not anymore." She spoke sternly, glancing around, catching the sight of her child behind the towering, dark haired man in glasses holding their hand and glaring at the woman. "I'm not taking (deadname/slur) back, if that's what you're asking." She spat, hate on her lips. Schlatt glared daggers into the woman's eyes, scrunching up his nose. "If I didn't have a reputation to uphold and a beautiful, lovely child at my side right now, I would do some terrible, terrible things to you lady. Now, give me the info I need to take this WONDERFUL. GIFT. of LIFE. off of your dingy, disgusting hands before your smoking addiction-stench causes my lungs to fucking collapse." The woman looked unamused, turning around to face what could only be assumed as her husband.
A ton of legal bs, arguing, and info gathering later....
Schlatt hopped into the car. "You done schlagg?" Ted smirked. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear you say that." Schlag- AhEm- Schlatt said, halfway joking. Y/n raised an eyebrow. "Who in the everliving fRICK is schlagg, and why does he posses the role of my...uhh..guess my- my dad..?"
"First of all, he calls me that sometimes and I despise it. Don't even think of joining him in that shit or I'll gladly flick that grin right off of both of your faces. Second, you can call me whatever you like, kid. Dad, pa, Schlatt, honestly, anything is better than Schlagg." He chuckled, lightening the air a bit from the arguably fair question. Y/n nodded, a grin on their face now as well. Ted, now in the front seat instead of the back like last time, glanced at them, aux in hand. "Show us your skills then bud, what's your preferred banger?" He waggled his eyebrows, glasses slightly sliding down his face from how he was kind of bent over the seat. "Watch how yer leanin' Teddy, I'd rather not you get Infront of where I need to be to...y'know, S E E -" Schlatt glanced over at him for a second. "Since when are you a road safety expert, old man? Sounds like someone's dalapidated"
Y/N was wheezing, kicking their legs and all over in chaos. Once they reached home, they saw a startled Charlie and sleeping Grace in his lap. Ignoring how adorable that was, everyone sat down together and breathed a unanimous sigh of relief. Schlatt whispered (something he never usually did) to Charlie, asking a question that Y/N couldn't hear. "Yeah, tomorrow. Who are they going with?" Schlatt responded quietly again. Charlie nodded, picking up Grace with style and...well, Grace- and headed to their room.
"Hey, kid, you want some dinner? I'm sure that'd be pretty nice." He spoke, glancing at Y/N. "We got some hamburger helper in here." Y/n nodded, glancing at Ted, who nodded along with them. "Actually, I have some cookie making stuff I brought over. It was for a video, but I can buy more if y-" Schlatt stopped him in his tracks.
"Hey...what, and hear me out, we made the video still..." Ted raised an eyebrow. "But then Y/N can't participate! That's plain unfair-" Schlatt squinted.
