A Beat for Cherry Bomb

Ch.12 Who Could Care if Their Alone or Not?

Tommy didn't care. That's what he told himself.

He told himself he didn't care about anything.

But in reality, he did care. Mainly the fact he was alone. Alone alone alone.

Of course, he had his friends who he considered his family. But, he was still alone. They know the things Tommy lets them know. They don't know Tommy Watson , they know Tommy Innit .

He's ok with that. He's ok having nobody to go to when he needs it. He has himself.

He's ok with nobody caring about him at his house. He has himself.

He's ok. He tells himself he's ok.

He doesn't care. He can't care.

He doesn't want his friends to know what his past is. What he goes through at home. Who Tommy Watson is.

He doesn't want his family to know what he's doing now. What he does away from home. Who Tommy Innit is.

Nobody truly knows both sides of himself. Well, other than Dream. But Tommy doesn't want to burden Dream.

He's already told the elder too much. Tommy is sure Dream has his own problems to deal with, so he doesn't need to deal with his too.

He was fine with being alone. He couldn't care less.

He looked into the bathroom mirror, picking apart every feature of his face. Picking out the things he hates and how he would actually like them to look.

He wants his nose to be smaller. He wants his teeth to be straighter and whiter. He wants his face to be smooth, not dotted with red bumps. He wants his lips to be simple, not dry and cracked. He wants his eyes to be bright with joy. He wants the bags under his eyes to be replaced with the soft freckles he knows are underneath.

He really just wants to never see his own face again. He doesn't want anyone else to look at his face.

The longer he looks, the more nauseous he gets. But he can't tear his eyes away. It's like his own mind is feeding off the negativity bouncing around inside of itself.

He hates it.

But he doesn't care.

It takes too much strength to look away from himself and walk out the bathroom back to his room.

It was 7am on a Saturday morning and the blonde was getting ready for work. He knows there's most likely going to be nothing there, it's always slow on the weekends at the shop. The most they get is an oil change or a flat tire.

But, Tommy doesn't care.

He just needs to get out of this house. He's noticed that a lot . That he always just needs to get out. Whether it be playing guitar on the roof or racing out in a dirt lot with his friends.

He never wants to be in this house. The rooms always seem too small and the world always seems too quiet. The walls close in and the talking of his family is too loud.

He hates it, but he can't care. He can't really do anything about it. Other than just escaping the hellhole he's lived in for the past 18 years.

He'll be gone soon. He'll be off, living his dreams with who he now calls his family.

He can't wait. He won't be alone.

As he makes his way out of his room, his eyes catch on his mirror. Gray sweatpants, sneakers, white tank top, and a simple black zip up.