Silent Longing | Bridgerton

15

"Well, Viscount Bridgerton," the Frenchman mused. "It appears as though it is just the two of us. It would be a shame for this delicious meal to go to waste. Would you care to join me?" He leaned back onto his palms and stretched his long legs out in front of himself. The ties at the top of his shirt had come undone and his chest was nearly in full view of the Ton. Nathaniel was well aware of his charms and did not mind catching the eyes of a few proud mamas and their show horse daughters.

Anthony could feel the heat radiating from his cheeks and could have sworn his vision became tinted with a light shade of red. Clenching his jaw, he gave a sharp turn of his head to the left and watched as the woman he had previously hoped to marry whisked away from him without so much as a parting glance.

His heart was pounding in his ears but he could not pinpoint exactly why. Was it the fact that this man in front of him and clearly flaunting his unsavory ways? Was it that he had been left standing alone, once again, by a Featherington? Was it that he perhaps is losing his charming ways? Or was it something else entirely?

A feeling he was not particularly fond of was ensnaring itself around his heart. It made his brows furrow, fists clench, and lungs struggle to expand. A mix between anger and drowning was all consuming and he needed to escape. But escape meant running and running meant admitting fear or defeat. And if there's one thing Anthony Bridgerton knows for certain, it is that he does not become scared and he does not lose.

Rather than labeling this feeling as defeat, he chose to shove it to the side, underneath all the other feelings he has felt within the past two years, and plastered a smile on his face. Clasping his hands behind his back, he locked eyes with Mr. Balfour. "As tempting as that sounds, unfortunately I must return home. Daphne has many callers yet and surely one is to be of good standing in the Ton to be a match for her."

Before Nathaniel could open his mouth, the Viscount turned on his heel and stomped away.

The clenching in his chest, along with his fist and jaw, had not ceased. He ran his hand around the rim of his collar and tugged it away from his throat. This helped not in the slightest. He popped open his jacket to alleviate the pressure, to still no avail.

He weaved through the couples walking aimlessly and lovingly throughout the Ton. If he was not already feeling so strangled and ill, he surely would have thought the amount of longing looks and fake laughter would make him feel the same. His head felt heavy and his long legs felt as if they were laced with lead.

He could make out the entrance to his home but it suddenly seemed as if he was in a rapidly dwindling tunnel. The sun was quickly disappearing, being replaced by a freezing darkness. He willed his legs to carry him further, just a bit more...

"Brother? Anthony?"

A throbbing pain and whispered voice pulled him back out of the darkness. The viscount groaned and threw his arm over his eyes, shielding them from the blinding light and prying eyes. The drowning feeling had dissipated, replaced instead with emptiness and a massive headache.

"Glad to see you are quite yourself again, brother." The condescending voice of Benedict cut through the air. "I was unsure what we would do with you if you appeared easy going and calm when you awoke. We may have had to whack you over the head again to try to get the old Anthony back." Anthony could see his smug smile in his voice. If the sun was not so brilliant, he would have given his brother a whack himself. "Ah, who are we kidding? We gladly would have welcomed an Anthony that was not nearly so sullen constantly."

With that last jab, Benedict clapped his eldest brother's shoulder and exited the room. Anthony released a strained breath he had not realized he was holding, only to have a mighty coughing fit rattle his body. Squeezing his eyes closed as tightly as he could, he managed to push himself into a sitting position on his bed. He threw his head back against the pillows and took a few slow, controlled breaths.

What on earth had he gotten himself into?

Surely this is not because of that Featherington girl. At the mere thought, his stomach tangled in knots. He clutched at it and opened his eyes. The pain in his stomach was immediately matched by the pain in his heart when his eyes locked onto those bright green ones that he loved so much.

The waiting woman removed herself from the window and stood at the foot of the bed. Her thin arms were crossed tightly across her chest and her jaw was set. Despite her cold demeanor, Anthony could see the truth in her eyes. They were wide and filled with something between worry, anger, and panic. It made his heart ache that she seemed so conflicted. He had never wanted to see her look so broken, and the idea of him being the cause of her pain, yet again, nearly caused him to choke up.

She cleared her throat, breaking the eye contact he had so been craving. "Well, Viscount Bridgerton. I am glad to see that you are indeed on the mend. I shall be leaving now." She squeezed the inside of her arm to alleviate the pain her heart was facing.

The man in front of her had given her quite a fright. Eloise and Colin had arrived at her home that morning to inform her of Anthony's state. The world went quiet as she blindly followed them to the Bridgerton manor. Violet allowed her to sit quietly in the corner while various doctors continued to check the young man who lay unconscious on his bed.

"Wait, Phoebe. What do you mean, on the mend?"

"You took a nasty fall outside yesterday, my lord. Nathaniel brought you back and you have not been with us until now. I simply came by to see how serious the situation was." Keeping her arms across her chest, she walked around the side of the bed towards the door. She could not bring herself to stay much longer. Her head and heart were in two different places and she was not quite sure which to follow. "Seeing as you are awake and gawking, I am certain that you are well on your way to your old habits. If you will excuse me."

"Phoebe, wait." The man's voice broke a bit before he cleared it and tried again. "You do not need to be in any haste. It is quite nice to have the company of someone who has vastly more intelligence than my brothers." A small smile ghosted across his face, wanting more than anything to continue to have her continue gracing him with her presence.

The woman scoffed and glanced his way. "Thank you for the invitation, my lord. It sounds like a riveting conversation would surely be had." The condescending tone had not gone unnoticed by the bed bound man. "Unfortunately, I already have arrangements for the day that I need to see through." She took three more steps towards the door before she was halted yet again.

"Arrangements? What on earth are you going on about?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Why on earth have I come here? This is a terrible mistake. "Well, my lord. If you must know, I have plans to go to the lake this afternoon. I need to get home before my mother starts to worry." She gave a short nod in his direction and reached for the door handle.

"Who are you going to the lake with?" Anthony sat further up in bed. His brows furrowed in confusion and it was his turn to fold his arms. What had happened in the span of mere hours that had this woman waltzing about the Ton like a prized horse?

This man and his infuriating questions. "Why is that any of your business?"A shrug and scoff from the man was enough to set her off. "Nathaniel asked if I would like to join him. Do you have a problem with that, my lord?"

The venom in her voice was like a dagger to his heart. The words she said was as if she was dragging the dagger down his chest. That man was positively terrible, nowhere near what she deserved. How could she not see that he was a rake, using her and would surely leave her in quite a predicament in the near future?

But was this his responsibility? He had Daphne to match, Phoebe was not blood. He had too much to do to worry about whether or not this stubborn woman made wise choices. Besides, if he had his way, the two of them would have nothing to worry about in terms of a future.

"Not at all." He said through a forced smile and gritted teeth. "Enjoy the day."