PJO & KotLC Incorrect Quotes

Nico di Angelo

Annabeth: Fun fact, the average person would walk past a murderer about thirty-six times in a lifetime.

Percy: I like how this is called a "fun" fact.

Nico: It's fun because they didn't murder you.

~°~

Nico, stumbling into the kitchen: Morning.

Percy: Morning.

Nico: *proceeds to pour black coffee into his bowl of cereal*

Percy: Nico what the f-

Leo: He's a "cereal killer".

~°~

Nico: I can't believe all these people are dressed in all black. All black was my thing, and now everyone's doing it to be "cool".

Thalia: *nodding* They're all posers.

Will: Nico, I quite honestly cannot stress this enough, but we are at a FUNERAL.

~°~

Nico: If Will will will, will Will will again? And if Will will will-

Will: Will will hurt you.

~°~

Percy: *can't find Nico in a crowd*

Percy: *using his hands as a megaphone* HADES HAS FOUR THOUSAND ATTACK POWER!

Nico: *appears from the shadows* Actually, it's five thousand, but only if your opponent attacks first.

Percy: Found him.

~°~

Jason: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Percy: Have everyone stand.

Frank: Bring three more chairs!

Leo: The best seven of the lot get to sit down.

Nico: Kill three.

~°~

Wait guys, look!

The Lost Hero
The Son of Neptune
The Mark of Athena
The House of Hades
The Blois hella gayod of Olympus

~°~

Jason: C'mon, Nico. Are you too scared to admit it?

Nico: Admit what?

Jason: The fact that Will Solace stole your heart.

Nico: What heart?

~°~

Policeman: *pulls Nico over* Sir-

Nico: It's not illegal.

Policeman: But-

Nico: It's not illegal....

Policeman: *Nico's back seat filled with happy meals* There's- there's just so many....

Nico: But it's not illegal.

~°~

Will: Did it hurt when you fell?

Nico: From heaven? Listen, Will, I get that you're into me but-

Will: No, I mean when you fell walking in. I watched you trip over your foot and just lay there on the floor for about ten minutes.

Nico: .....

Percy: We all saw it.

~°~

Reyna: Nico, I really need you to be frank with me for a moment.

Nico: *pointing to Frank* But that's his job.

Reyna: No, I mean... uh, I just need you to get something straight.

Nico: Reyna, you know damn well I don't do straight.

Percy: Don't you mean "dam" well?

Reyna: Wha-

Percy: Inside joke.

~°~

"They're not dolls! They're figurines! And you can take your great army and-"

-Nico di Angelo, The Titan's Curse

Can we just appreciate the fact that at ten years old Nico di Angelo was about to tell a full-blown manticore to shove an entire army up his ass?