Crestfallen Colors

Innocent

Gon shut the door to his bedroom, leaning his back against it. Oh god how he hated this room. The voices were always loudest here.

Gon hit his head back against the door. "Shut up." He muttered, curling up on the floor. One two. He hit his head again.

"Yo." Killua waved from Gon's bed. Gon honestly forgot Killua was still here. One. "Am I interrupting something?" Two three four five six seven eight nine.

Shaking his head, Gon stood up. The voices still wouldn't shut up but, he was used to that by now. He could tolerate it, at least while Killua was here.

Gon set himself in Killua's lap and hugged Killua's waist. "How'd uhm-" Killua cleared his throat, flustered. One two. "How'd it go with Dr. Siberia?" He asked, putting his arms around Gon's shoulders. This was less awkward before they became official. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten.

"Fine." Gon stated simply. One.

"You were hitting your head against the door." Killua pointed out.

One two three four five six seven eight.

"Mhm." Gon hummed, not explaining himself. One two, he thought. When was the last time he took his medication? Gon realized he forgot to yesterday. And... the day before?

Fuck fuck fuck. Gon sat up straight. One one one. No wonder the voices were loud this morning. And he can't stop counting things. Syllables, it always started with syllables. Next was steps- his and others. Then stray hairs. And then further and further until anything and everything is counted and documented in his mind. If he'd gone another day he could've had a full recession. Counting, counting, counting.

"You alright?" Killua asked. One two three.

Gon looked around for his medication. Where did he leave it? Five, four, three steps from the bed. First, second drawer. "I-" One. "Need to get my uhm," Two three four five six. "Medication..." Seven eight nine ten... Ten. Ten. Ten. No more than ten.

Gon got off of Killua, walking carefully to his desk. One two three steps that's it. He counted, stopping. He counted down the drawers, one two, before opening it. He counted the vials of medication, one two three four five six seven. He needed two four six seven. One two, two fours, two sixes, two sevens.

Water bottle, one sip one two. Again, one sip two fours. One sip two sixes. One sip two sevens.

It'd take a while for any effect to set in. Another hour. Fifty-nine minutes, fifty-seven seconds. Gon counted down in his head as he walked, one two three and sit, to his place next to Killua on his bed.

"That's... a lot of medication." Killua noticed the other dozen vials when Gon had opened the drawer. One... two three four five six seven eight. "You alright?" Nine ten. Ten ten ten. No more than ten.

"Arithmomania." One two three four five six. Gon explained. "Forgot yesterday." Seven eight nine ten eleven... one too many. Four more. "And before that." Twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen. Fifteen. Fifteen's fine.

"Arithm... oh. So like- your head's filled with numbers and stuff?" Killua asked. One two... three. Four five- six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen. Unlucky thirteen. Thirteen is bad. This is bad. Say more. Two more. Seven more. Any more.

Gon wouldn't talk until Killua's number of syllables changed. Causing an uncomfortable silence Killua would have to break.

"Gon? You still here, babe?" Killua put a hand on Gon's shoulder. Fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen. "Gon?" Nineteen. One more just one more. "Are-" Twenty.