Never let go

I've got you

!!!HUGE TW!!! SelfHarm

The next day at breakfast you were sat beside Dr. Hoffman, you could feel the tension begin to rise as soon as she sat down next to you. The rest of the Collins family joined in friendly conversation, whilst you kept your head down, trying to avoid eye contact with the older woman who hadn't taken her eyes off you since she got there. "Y/n you will be teaching David today until about 3pm is that correct?" Elizabeth looked at you waiting for your reply. "Yes I am." You said, looking up from your plate to smile at David who seemed rather excited. You two had been getting along well so far.

Suddenly you felt something brush the outside of your thigh, and move up under your skirt, rubbing your thigh softly. You looked at Dr, Hoffman who was now smirking at you, enjoying the look on your face as you try and hide your pleasure from the rest of the family. You bit your lip again to try and regain control of your body, but felt a hard pinch on your inner thigh. Flinching at the sudden pain you looked at the older woman who was unimpressed by your lip biting, and you remembered her words from late last night.
"Don't do that love, the only person who is allowed to make you bleed is me."
You stopped biting your lip and bowed your head in submission, earning a praising smirk from the older woman.

After breakfast you and David sat down in the library so that you could begin teaching him. Despite his issues he really was a sweet boy, and you enjoyed teaching him very much. Time flew by and you looked at the clock and it was already 3pm. "You did so well today little man! I'll see you tomorrow and maybe we could play a game, how does that sound?" He responded with an exited squeal and you laughed at him, he was indeed a very sweet boy.

Later that night you were in your room reading a book. You enjoyed reading, you only really did it to occupy your mind from well, everything going on inside it, but it was a decent distraction. However tonight it just didn't feel like enough. Your mind just kept spiraling, telling you things that aren't true, reminding you of your failures. "Fuck it" you whispered, standing up and running into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. Your breathing became unsteady and you began to shake. You grabbed the blade from inside the bottom draw and put it to your wrist, letting out a small cry.
Sitting on the bathroom floor you watch the blood drip from your wrist, allowing a single tear to roll down your cheek.

"Are you alright love?" You hear a knock at the door and scramble to your feet, pulling your sleeve down quickly. The older woman walks in, with a concerned look on her face. Her eyes instantly dart to your sleeve, which is now red with blood. Shit. "Y/n!" She ran over to you quickly grabbing your arm, pulling up your sleeve to look at what you had done. You turned your head away, ashamed and embarrassed. She grabbed some tissue and applied pressure, "come on, let's go to my office." The older woman wrapped her arm around your waist guiding your fragile body to her office, keeping the pressure on your wrist.

She locked the door behind her and walked you over to the sofa, "Sit down love." She said, stroking the side of your face. You still hadn't looked at her. You couldn't. "You can talk to me, I'm here." She said softly, she almost sounded desperate for you to talk. "Y/n.." she whispered, searching your face for any answer you displayed. Hearing her say your name made you crumble, your whole body collapsed into her arms and you sobbed into her chest. "Shh ..your okay, I'm here. It's alright now." She whispered, holding you close. "I'm not going anywhere okay." She said, kissing the top of your head lightly which made you sob even more. You never wanted her to let go.

Finally after you had calmed down you pulled away from her grip, looking at the older woman's face. You saw nothing but care, so much care." She wiped under your eye with her thumb, giving you a faint smile. "Dr, Hoffman I-" "Julia. You may call me Julia, love." She spoke, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. "Julia.." saying her name made your heart skip a beat, she was everything.

Her eyes looked at your wrist again, she still had her hand on it, applying pressure. "May I?" She said, you gave an approving nod and she moved her hand, looking at the wounds on your wrist. You turned your head away again, guilt filling you to the top of your head. She held your chin and moved your head so your eyes met once more, "it's okay my love. I'm going to help you."

Your eyes subconsciously darted to her lips, and back up to her eyes. She noticed and leaned in, your lips met softly, and you melted into the kiss. Your kiss laced with passion but also care. She moved her lips down your neck, kissing the spot just below your ear that made you sigh with pleasure, "Mine. My pretty girl." She whispered, nuzzling her nose into your neck, still kissing and nibbling at your skin. She rubbed your back with her hand, pulling your body's together, hugging you tightly. You stayed like that all night, together, on her sofa, in each others arms. And for the first time in a very long time, you slept, because you were safe. With her.

This won't stay depressing for long I promise.. I think