Never let go

Relief

TW sh and suicide attempt

flashback to as you were leaving~
you just hoped david was as good a liar as you thought.

You began walking, rather swiftly, away from the house. You just wanted to get out of sight, so nobody could see you. You entered a small woods, tall dark trees began to surround you the further you walked into the woods. Soon you were deep enough into the woods that you could barley make out the sky.

The longer you stayed out, the darker and colder it became, but you didn't care. You found a suitable tree to sit under, and curled up into a ball on the dirt. You took your right shoe off, your sock becoming dirty due to the soil. You gripped the fabric inside your shoe and pulled it up, revealing a tiny silver blade you had hidden. You saw Julia sharpening a pencil when she was doing her work, and stole it when she was asleep. You took the blade out and put your shoe back on, frantically wiping your sock to remove as much dirt as possible. you then rolled up your sleeve, revealing partially healed scars. You almost let out a sigh of relief, finally you had the chance to do the one thing you had been desperate to do for so long.. hurt.

About an hour later your arm was covered in cuts, there was not one bare spot on your arm. And as for your clothes, there was no way the amount of blood they were soaked in would ever come out. You brought your hand up to your cheek, expecting to feel tears, but there was nothing, you were well and truly numb. Thoughts started racing in your mind..

'you're worthless.'
'you don't deserve Julia.'
'you can't give her what she wants.'
'you will never be good enough.'
'you are nothing.'
'you are nothing.'
'you are nothing.'

Your breathing became more frantic and you suddenly rose from the ground, blood still dripping from your arm. Your vision was fuzzy and your head spinning. You began to run, who knows where your mind was taking you. You soon reached the end of the woods, and continued running until you reached a cliff. It was the cliff that was next to collinwood mannor. If somebody walked out of the house they'd see you in the distance.

You stepped forward, your breath hitching with each step you took. And then you stopped. The cool wind cut through you, sending painful shivers through your body.
With a few more steps it would all be over, you were worthless, Julia deserved better, there was no point anymore.

"Y/n!" A familiar voice came from behind you, the only voice that would ever make you stop. Julia.