Never let go

Hide and secrets

Small tw? Implied SH

"Julia..wake up" you softly nudged the older woman, in attempt to wake her. "Julia..Julia please..JULIA!" Your faint whispers soon turned to screams, as you shook the older woman forcefully. "Yes my love what is it?" She awoke, looking at your face and soon realizing your cheeks were soaked with tears. "It's alright y/n, I'm here." She said, sitting up and taking your hand in hers. "Julia please make it stop." You sobbed, your bottom lip shaking from the panic in your mind. "Breath little one, tell me what's happening." She took some deep breaths and motioned you to try join in with her. "I want to..." you whisper, stopping yourself from finishing that sentence. Julia looked at you, she knew what you were trying to say. You cried softly, looking away from Julia's now extremely concerned face. "I need pain, please let me." You begged, trying to tug away from the older woman who now had you firm in her grip. You struggled, looking around the room in attempt to find something, anything to use.

"Y/n, y/n look at me." Julia said calmly, still holding you tight. "You can do this, I know you can. Right now it feels like the only thing you want to do is hurt, but you can stop it. Don't listen to the voices in your head don't let them win, you are strong my love, we are strong." Her words made your whole body ache with love, and pain, and passion. Still crying you stopped fighting her, and instead leaned into Julia's body, allowing her to wrap her arms around you. "I love you." You whisper, still shaking, still crying. "I love you more." The older woman responded, planting faint kisses on the top of your head. "Can we open a window? I need some air" you say, looking up at the older woman with glassy eyes. "Yes my love, I'll go, you stay here, don't move." She said, slowly getting up to open the window, looking back on you every now and then. She knew better than to leave you for too long like this, and she was right to be cautious.

The next morning you woke up to find the space next to you empty. Julia must have already gotten up, leaving you to sleep because of last night. Still a little tired you looked at the time to see it was still fairly early. 9am- early for you at least. Suddenly the door to your bedroom opened and Julia walked in holding a glass of water. "Morning pet, how are you feeling?" She asked, handing you the water which you reluctantly started to sip. "I'm fine." You mumbled, putting the water down and turning your head away from your lover. Julia didn't buy it, "No your not. It's okay you know, to say your not okay." Her words were comforting, but they didn't fix anything. "Really Julia, I'm okay. I'm going to get up now." You said, lying through gritted teeth. You plastered a fake smile on your face and swung your legs out of bed, and began getting ready. Julia just watched you silently, still extremely suspicious. You picked out a t shirt with some baggy jeans, and then grabbed your hoodie. "What are you doing today then?" Julia asked, trying to see if she could read you in any way. "I was gonna go get coffee from downstairs and then maybe have an hour with David, I haven't done much work recently." You said, which was only half a lie really. You hadn't done much work with David recently, but you weren't going to do any today. "Ah well, I will be in my office as usual. Come and find me if you need me, I have spoken with Elizabeth and she is also going to keep an eye on you today." Shit. "What?" You asked, a little anxious. "Don't worry my darling she knows nothing, but she will be watching you, as will I." Julia said, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the room. Julia was smart you'd give her that. But you were smarter.

—— later that day ——

"Y/n?" You heard a small voice from behind you. "David hey little man, what's up." You said playfully, giving the younger boys hair a quick ruffle with your hand. Julia wasn't kidding when she said Elizabeth would be keeping an eye on you, she barely left your side all day, which to be honest was beginning to be annoying. Luckily Elizabeth got pulled away, an emergency phone call, so you took your chance to escape. You weren't running away, no, you would never leave Julia. You just wanted to go for a walk, you needed to be alone so you could finally do what you had been wanting to do since Julia confiscated your blade. So there you were, caught by a little boy, trying to figure out what your next move was.

"Where are you going?" He said, his voice soft and quite adorable. "I was just going for a little walk, it's very good to get fresh air and exercise isn't it? Remember we learnt about healthy lifestyle the other week?" You responded. "Yes I do, you also have to eat fruit and vegetables too!" He squeaked, the look on his face full of pride for remembering. "That's right! Well done." You whispered, smiling at the younger boy who seemed to look up to you in the sweetest way. "Do you want to play a game David?" You said, you needed to find a way to keep David from saying anything to Elizabeth when she came back. "What's the game?" He asked, curious. "It's called hide and secrets. You have to keep the other persons location secret for as long as you can. And if they aren't found then you win!" You said, trying to put on an excited face. "Okay okay I wanna play!" He said, joining in on the excitement. "So, I'm going out for a walk, and you have to keep it a secret. Don't tell Lizzie where I went okay? And then if she doesn't find me, you win!" You said, "so, are you in?" "Yes. I'm in." He said, and you both shook hands in agreement. You quietly crept out of the house, playing along with this childish game you have made up. You really were a genius. You just hoped David was as good a liar as you thought.

Sorry it's been so long, I've just had no motivation to write this story tbh. I've been so focused on my Bellatrix fanfic which if you haven't read it- you should go do that.
But yeah I hope you like whatever this is
I'll try update it again soon but idk when that will be.